Am I Really Meeting Up in the Mens Room? Yes... Greetings Doctor.

[Michi]

The gastrointestinal tract is regulated with dietary choices, hydration and relative activity. The average shinobi is not particularly... regular. With water at a premium and fibrous foods being procured at a price as an import, a majority of Sunans subsist off of meat and starch. Constipation is a common problem in Sunagakure, and due to high demand the relative access to laxatives was abundant. It was a simple task to get laxatives, there were closets full of the varied kinds in the Omni Prime. It was a lot like a civilian hospital in that regard, but that is a story for another day. She was not going to steal a bottle of Miralax or Ex-Lax, or Golytely --those had trademarks and lawyers. No-no-no, she was going to use artificial sweeteners. They worked through osmotic effect on the human colon, rather effectively. Also, they did not have the same gritty texture or thickening effect on liquids that turn a glass of juice into a slurry.

The plan was simple: Coffee.

Not to say coffee did not have an... increased peristaltic effect on it's own, the addition of the artificial sweetener added to what most would call "Medic's Crack" as coffee served as its own distinctive food-group to most practitioners. The contents of Tama's thermos might have been tampered with. Sleep deprived and stressed more than likely, it was quite probable that he would not notice the automatically refreshing magical thermos. It would take some time to take effect, miles of distance, potential stones the length of his colon the cramping effect would not be felt until the most inopportune time.

During surgery?

During a patient assessment?

Interdisciplinary rounds?

No, while he was in the closet with an incredibly busty blonde that may or may not have enjoyed a few 'enhancements' as a perk of their illicit relationship. Well, relationship was a strong term for what happened there, what they had was purely physical. "Oh Doctor, you taste just like pork rinds... my favorite."

Just before the sound of rhythmic thumping would be heard that the staff would politely pretend that they did not notice, tragedy would strike. Like a hand had thrust itself into his gut and twisted his intestines into a knot. This sense of urgency.

What happened in that closet... the writer has no clue and intensely fears the answer.

The mens room was not terribly far down the hall. A simple two stall room with a pair of urinals and sinks against the wall. Michi would be standing next to the door, she had been waiting there for some time under henge as a nurse waiting for Tama to rush past her. In her hand, there was a slip of paper she would place after Tama entered stating simply: Out of Order. Yes, this was an engineered meeting.

 

[Toraono Michino]

Ahh blackmail via the honeypot. Oldest trick in the book and not one Tama ever foresaw himself falling for. Yet here he was, risking his medical career and current relationship, in order to keep his actual lover out from under the gun. Of course that was actually some of the beauty that came with being who he was, and who his counter part in this was, that kept the entire soap opera-esq debacle in a tight nit. The buxom blonde who’s neck was catching Tama’s attention currently ran the one of two departments in the hospital that was willing to accept his presence given the scientist’s…background. The scientist chose this crew of people to work with because they had no problems with paying him the overtime he desired by working both in the clinic and ER most of the week. This set up which allowed Tama to fully give back to Suna and earn enough funds to continue his every increasingly expensive research was bound to come with some complications; and her name was Akinu.

Now for a nearly a good five months Tama had avoided her hardcore. Anytime she walked into a room the scientist could feel her thirst and immediately found a reason to leave and do something with either a patient or flat going home. She had managed to corner him twice in this time period, the first asking if he wanted to go out for drinks to which he declined with the excuse of not being one for alcohol. The second was about two weeks after he had started a fling with a male nurse who often worked under him in the ER at night. While they had kept their relationship low-key as much as they could it was hard for them to continue to be around each other without so much as touching each other. Eventually the two thought they were alone enough one night to find themselves in a closet for a little bit…but unfortunately a wondering Medic Trainee happen to be walking by and heard their tryst. The very next morning Tama was in Akinu’s office and that was when everything was flipped on him.

Fast forward one week and here we were.

Their lips met briefly as the Hybrid tried his hardest to keep kisses with the woman as short as possible as he had a penchant to use tongue. Tama was trying everything, including eating strange food, to try and keep her and that far too adventurous tongue from his mouth. Once she pulled away and huskily made a comment about the flavor of the fried pig skin he had eaten literally minutes before she ambushed him, he could feel the blood rushing away from his anywhere near his pants. Internally he swore a string of swears that would of turned the mood just as sour for Akinu as it had for him, but, his mother didn’t raise a quitter.
There was a handful of ‘certain’ jutsu after all…

Half-way through the ‘deed’, and unfortunately about the time when his mind would finally let go and let his primal senses take over enough that he could mostly enjoy it, there was a sharp clench in his gut. Tama stopped, confused as reality of gastro-distress quickly shoo’d away the glow of intercourse, and waited to see if he was imagining things. The second time it hit was with far more ferocity that told him, ‘You got seconds, tops.’ On top of that second twist came an actual audible sound that echoed from his guts and through the packed closet.
“Pork rinds, gotta go,” the scientist explained boldly before hastily removing himself from both the director and the closet, his clothing barely hanging on to cover enough to stay decent - as if it really mattered at this point.

The bathroom wasn’t too far away, thank the Kami, and the giant blonde did little to pay attention to the woman standing beside the entrance as he bolted past her whiter than the snow in Kirigakure. The poor man all but kicked one of the stall door off it’s hinges before dropping onto the porcelain throne; thankfully his pants were still pretty much hanging off.
After the initial first few distressful movements the doctor finally thought to close the stall door that was barely hanging on its hinges and resigned to being in here for the next foreseeable hour. Not that he couldn’t get all of whatever was triggering his body out in mere seconds…but this kept him away from the crazy lust driven beast stalking him outside.

 

[Michi]

She was obsessed with straw-hat wearing doctors, there was something about the peasant wear that got her motor running. Well, it got it started. What really got her going was his attempts to send her in another direction, eating odd foods, not necessarily wearing deodorant or at least one that humans would enjoy. She was looking for something scandalous and dirty and he was fitting the bill to a T, She also knew he was totally into her too, being the shy type he always made excuses to be somewhere else but she knew better, she knew he was a man of passion. she had heard rumors about him entering a few flings. Some of them were probably even true, well at least one of them was true. If they could get some action, then she could too! Fair was fair after all. It was as if she was attempting to corner a skittish stray, she made sure that he had nowhere to flee but the closet because gosh darn it she was going to get some even if it killed him. That was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

It was going fine, he was slow to warm but unlike men women wanted a bit of foreplay. However the good doctor had to break the mood, a trumpet announced the release of toxic gas, this terrible sulfur-like scent. Actually, sulfur did not entirely describe this stench. In her day she had been exposed to a great many badpans, a few too many wounds and of course the not so delightful halitosis many of the patients in Sunagakure suffered from. It was nothing like this. She coughed and then she gagged, it was like a biological attack.

“Pork rinds, gotta go,”

Tama announced as he pushed her off of him or he pulled himself off of her, hard to say when trying to get it on in a closet. In either case he would rush out, when the door opened sweet merciful hospital air spelling like moth balls and old people killed the unfortunate stink box. She would stumble out of the closet, skirt askew and the top three buttons open on her blouse, her fist raised and shaking she would shout out behind Tama "Stop making excuses!" She let out another cough, OK, well fine... this was a decent excuse she would be waiting for him. She buttoned her blouse and pulled down the hem of her skirt, an indignant look that was mostly ignored by the other staff. It was better Tama than them they had already reasoned. She would prowl the halls and await his return.

Inside the bathroom, well Tama was having a shitty day in the most literal sense.

Shortly after he plunked himself down onto the toilet, the door to the men's room would open up. A sign was placed on the door outside of the men's room announcing the fact that the space was out of order for the time being. Michi would enter the bathroom, just in time for Tama's stall door to close. Well, try to close, it was askew due to the force by which he had opened the door. The necessary bits were covered at the very least. She would pull a gasmask over her face before she would knock on Tama's stall door.

"Hello" she would call out. The last thing a man wants to hear while he is evacuating his colon in the men's room, the sound of a woman's muffled voice. "Doctor Ryuu Tama I presume," she continued. "I was the Oracle Fuu," she chose a name that was likely easier to recognize. "It is an experience to finally meet you, I have been awaiting this encounter all day," great another girl was looking for a piece of old Tama. Well, don't worry, this one wants you for everything but what is in your pants so rest assured. "I am looking to make a contract with you," in the least likely place to talk shop -- yes.

"Considering my meetings with shinobis often end poorly, forgive the circumstances of our meeting," she was referring to her career of being lifted by her neck by most of the shinobis she encountered. It was a risk to engage with most shinobis, but their reaction to her was one she expected and accepted at this point. Her participation in the Cabal had made her into the enemy. Her genetic relationship with the Diamyo's eldest bastard also effected others. Finally, there were some that simply reacted to the fact that she was an Oracle rather than a Cabalist. "I feel safest with your pants around your ankles," she announced honestly and bluntly. "You see, I am in need of your access and your brain for matters that will affect the state of the village," a bit dramatic perhaps.

 

[Toraono Michino]

Shortly after the scientist attempted to close his stall door he heard someone else entering the bathroom. Tough luck for them, Tama thought to himself, he didn’t envy anyone who had to deal with the foulness exploding from his innards. Yet the sound of a woman’s voice, muffled by a mask, sent chills down the man’s spine he didn’t know could be possible.
Also another movement followed by a rather painful cramp.

In her short monologue the scientist was given a name he wasn’t overly familiar with, though the word ‘Cabal’ rang some bells, a motive, and reasoning to why she chose this particular method. A sweat began to break out on his face at the thought of possibly fighting right now as the knot twisted harder in his guts. She had indeed planned well ahead. Whatever Fuu had slipped him had already circulated through his system and was doing damage, that much was apparent. He could try and purge the rest out but the thought of that pain proceeding a possible battle, in his already prone position, left him with little options but to be at the mercy of her sadism.

Man, when did women in Sunagakure get so damn viscous?

“Aight’,” Tama relented to the Oracle, “but uh’ course yah should know…de-spite muh, ah, predicament, I do have conditions tuh any deal.” Another movement, another painful groan followed by furious pulling of precious sheets of paper, then a following reply,
“I will do no harm upon teh Sousuke. I will not put Suna in anythang I deem dangerous. No, I can’ts clone yuh...yet. No, I don’t know the secret tuh immortality, I’m just as confused as yuh are as tuh why I look this young. Also, while we’re at it, if you’vez been sent by Uzumoreru Toushin, I will paint dis bathroom with you. Naked.

While he did have high doubt that Chiyo’s father would go this far to send a messenger he had no time for the old assassin’s bullshit. It was already a huge problem for him regarding Akinu’s stalking interrupting what could potentially be life saving work, he didn’t need that old bastard messing with him now. In fact, despite the distress in his guts, he would very nearly even deal with Mikaboshi right now over Uzu. Clearly he was not a fan of his brother’s choice in women.

“Other than dat, I’m pretty much an open book. O’course, I dun suppose I’ll be,” another pained grunt and gas, “gettin’ anythang out of dis will I?” If anything the scientist enjoyed his deals to be more partnerships than one-sided information feed-n-pay.

 

[Michi]

“Aight’,”

A grunt from the stall announced. Good she thought, not that she was about to let her guard down immediately.

“but uh’ course yah should know…de-spite muh, ah, predicament, I do have conditions tuh any deal.”

He added followed by a groan, the sound of a large package hitting the water inches below with a plop. She was incredibly thankful she had been prepared enough to wear a gas mask, it was as if the man was living on processed foods bereft of fiber and this extradition of his colonic contents might cause more profound losses than she had previously hypothesized.

“I will do no harm upon teh Sousuke. I will not put Suna in anythang I deem dangerous. No, I can’ts clone yuh...yet. No, I don’t know the secret tuh immortality, I’m just as confused as yuh are as tuh why I look this young. Also, while we’re at it, if you’vez been sent by Uzumoreru Toushin, I will paint dis bathroom with you. Naked."

"I can acquiesce to all but one of your conditions Doctor Ryuu Tama," she replied. "My intentions would place the Steward Takahashi out of harm's way. I will not survive long enough for immortality to have any true relevance for me and as far as I am aware, the means by which such would be achieved is a taboo I am unwilling to commit. As for your youth, felicitations for your protracted youth but I am approaching fifty myself. It would seem that the Deep Court hybridization process has returned to me a youth I did not seek already," she replied. The woman could not lie but she did not have to share so much either yet she chose to all the same. She was assessing him, it was something she did passively without conscious effort at this point. Her plans varied in accordance to the additional data she was provided. "However, there is the possibility that the Steward will elect to seek a dangerous situation that may arise as an unintended albeit potential consequence of our meeting here today. His impulsive, brazen nature may lead him to harm... harm you can actively attempt to prevent and of course should." That is the thing with contracts, the wording needed to be air tight and complete. "Your compliance will also place the good people of Sunagakure at risk as it is my hope that an active incident will arise that will lead to shinobi conflict as well as the potential loss of life, psychological trauma and bodily harm," this was starting to sound more like the end of a drug commercial where a long list of potential side effects were listed off that significantly outweighed the benefits of the drug. She only needed to add at this point that if an erection lasts for more than four hours that the user should seek medical attention immediately. "I can assure you that I have not been sent my a one Uzumoreu Toushin, so nude combat will be completely unnecessary. I have come here at the behest of a one Sunaku Harupia," she explained. The Jounin did not request that she poison the good Doctor or attempt to blackmail him into compliance, but unfortunately for Tama his participation in her scheme was mandatory.

“Other than dat, I’m pretty much an open book. O’course, I dun suppose I’ll be,”

"Excellent Mister Ryuu Tama," A disorganized orchestra of horns bellowed from the stall as the Oracle gave her reply.

“gettin’ anythang out of dis will I?”

"That would be my intention Doctor," she claimed. She did not expect to get anything for free and she also understood that his compliance would end as soon as his colon was empty, the only two things that would keep her safe would be either distance or a mutually beneficial relationship going forward. "I fully understand that once the Sorbatol (an artificial sweetener) leaves your system or everything within you has been fully evacuated, my safety is no longer assured. This is only a circumstance to ensure that you remain irenic long enough that I might reach a state of concordance with you Doctor." She walked into the adjacent stall and took the roll off the toilet paper dispenser and with an underhanded motion lobbed it over the stall wall. He might require a second roll from the sound of what was going on in there. "I will start with what I want and I will even explain the logic thereof," how benevolent. "I have recently proposed marriage to a one Sennin Senju Kazuki, Overlord of the Senju Clan in Kohonagakure during the Lunar festival. I have made several requests of varied artisans throughout the village to facilitate the needs of what will likely prove to be a unique extravaganza. One such artisan is Jounin and self-professed Oracle, Sunaku Harupia. I require the benefit of his iron sand to create a box that cannot be manipulated by a conventional ninjutsuist, thus in exchange for his assent I am required to facilitate a meeting between him and former Cabalist, present General of the Sovereign Army, Ishii Shouki. Ishii Shouki is a Jashinist priest whom is best known for his sadism, however his true nature is worse than presumed. The relevant portion of this is the fact that Sunaku Harupia demands a meeting with Ishii Shouki in exchange for the device I have requested that he manufacture. To facilitate this, I will be in need of your assistance Doctor Ryuu." That was a lot of information, it was unlikely the unfortunate man in gastric distress caught all of this but he probably caught enough. "I require dead bodies to be supplied to me," she announced as she sat back down on the edge of the sink across from the occupied stall. "Body parts as well I suppose... but I will need at least seven mostly complete bodies," she counted them in her head. Yes, seven should be plenty. "Frozen."

This was were one of the largest variables in this episode would come into play. Ryuu would either immediately agree or he would reject her offer. Rejection would set off a fresh cascade of consequences she would have to enact to fulfill her contract with the Sunaku. Compliance would mean that terms would need to be set. There was also the chance that if he rejected her request that he would storm out of the stall and there would be things she could no un-see. The woman might be curious by nature, but even she had her limits. She readied herself for whichever of these outcomes proved to be true. "As for indemnity, I trade primarily in information but as you can see... I am proficient in fulfilling other requests as well. What is it that you would want of me?"

 

[Toraono Michino]

The bowl movements and gas had finally come to a halt. There was a brief spike of power and chakra that caused the stall to rattle a little followed by one, very long, release of horrid flatulence causing Tama to be personally thankful of the extra roll he had been given.
Of course he had been poisoned with something stupidly simple. Being a man of unbound pride and a natural genius to boot he felt himself being laid low by such a simple trick. Rather or not Fuu intended it to be the wake-up call the scientist needed it was how was viewing it. Once there was a time when he would have simply killed the woman stalking the halls out there right now instead of going through the disgusting lengths he was to protect his lover. Now he, a seven-foot giant of a man with a second chance at life, was stuck on a toilet at the whims of an Oracle using artificial sweetener as her weapon and a nymphomaniac outside. When had he become so afraid of doing the ‘wrong thing’? Was that it truly he had changed from his old ways of madness and disregard of average human life? Or was it more likely he dared not disappoint Sousuke, his only connection to the past?

There was a flushing sound as the low-water receptacle attempted to choke down the contents followed by the reveal of heterochromic eyes peering over the broken door at the woman in a gas mask. The jingling sound of a belt attempting to be fixed echoed in the now mostly silent bathroom.
Tama’s large hand gripped the door and lifted it so it would swing without breaking the hinges any further and carefully stepped out…and around Fuu to wash his hands.

He was thinking. While not a fan at all on how she approached him it was genuinely for the best. Had she approached him in any other manner there was bound to be a trail and for the questions she asked…well it wasn’t a trail she’d want those in power to discover. Yet why him? Aside from his mysterious youth, which is what anyone bother him about these days generally besides sex, the scientist had kept a hard low-profile everywhere except the Diamond District and…well that was more because he couldn’t help but annoy the prudes there. Yet even that was the occasional explosion from his inventions and hobbies; not a single one of which had been revealed to the public. So either Fuu was here on advice or she knew a great number of things about him that only two-to-three other living beings knew of. One thing stuck out for sure in his mind and that was her mention of being a Hybrid like he was, and that was far more common ground than he had with most people.

The water turned off as the Doctor used his elbow to start pushing down on the lever that would give him the paper-towels needed to dry his wet hands. He turned to face the woman in the gas mask and tilted his head to the exit,
“Muh office. We’ll finish discussing dis there…away from muh own stank. Also eet’s far more private for dis kind of conversation than yuh’d believe…”

Tama stepped away from Fuu and walked towards the door to crack it open a little. His eyes were looking for the nymphomaniac. Convinced she wasn’t stalking around here at the moment he stepped out and made a bee-line for his office which was on the floor below them but not too far from the bathrooms. The scientist only hoped that once they got there he wouldn’t find Akinu waiting for him naked on his desk…as that had happened once before. He had hoped that she would at least pretend to be more creative this time and give him time to finish this conversation.
It had really piqued his interests. It wouldn’t harm Sousuke directly which was really his only stipulation. Harming innocents, that talk about village safety, all things he mentioned to keep from anyone without real backbone from offering him darker options he had done good to avoid until now. Something in his heart continued to nag at him but, the idea of having an Oracle’s favor in his back-pocket meant a lot to him knowing how secretive they were. Hell with the right negotiations Tama could probably find a way to make himself the next Kazekage if he could align well enough with their group…but he had something better in mind. Something only Fuu could do.

When they reached the door Tama was glad to find it still locked. Quickly he pulled out a jingling set of keys that opened a number of things in the hospital, found his key, and quietly as possible opened the door to his office to slip inside and allow the Oracle to do the same before quickly shutting the door, locking it, and flipping on the lights.
It was a basic office. A twelve foot long desk taking up nearly one whole side of the room filled with papers, charts, and personal notes. A smaller personal desk in the center with two chairs for visitors and a large one behind it. In the corner opposite of the large desk was a small metal table with a coffee pot on top of it. Directly above it was a glass cabinet attached to the wall hosting a number of weird shaped mugs - some collectible. One such was an old-fashion Japanese tea cup that had the words “Winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament: Sunagakure” painted on with gold leaf. The cup itself seemed to be made of a precious metal and no doubt cost upwards in the hundreds brand new.