Old Friends [Siu|Private]

[Senju Shizuka]

The weather outside was quite beautiful if you remembered that you were actually in Cloud. No rain, no clouds, no razor sharp breezes of any kind. In fact, one could even say that it was quite warm. A soft day with rays to light one’s way wherever they decided to go. Not that Shizuka was aware of that. Every window she had was covered up with thick fabric. Here and there she had pinned blankets to the walls, because she had ran out of the couple of curtains their house had still been in possession of. Mom had always tried to make the house feel light and sunny. Where plants used to stand nothing but empty pots remained. Dust had quickly gathered on the shelves, but Shizuka didn’t really care. Having come back from Leaf a couple of days ago, the young Senju was spending her free time sleeping in her room. Aside from that, she had gotten well acquainted with wine. The white, sweeter kind.

Various bottled littered the kitchen table. Honestly, she had never felt so sick in her entire life. Well, aside from the day she got the ‘bad’ news. Though, she hadn’t thrown up back then. Oddly enough. This morning, however, had been spent in the bathroom. Not that it mattered, after a while she got out, slept for about an hour in the living room, then ate an apple and added another glass of wine. Maybe her stomach would get used to it in time. She assumed her mind would. The floating feeling was soothing, so there was a plan to get herself more of those once the last few would get empty.

The knock didn’t reach her at first. Lazily turning toward the hall that lead to the front door, Shizuka frowned. The badly lit area was a cozy mess of dust, heaps of clothes and whatever she had left behind when going on her trip to Leaf. The grapes on the table, for example, had grown soft and soggy, the smaller ones were turning into raisins instead. She couldn’t care less about it.

Ignoring the first knock, or was it the second?, she finally got up onto her feet, put the half-empty glass down and moved to open the door. Rimmed red eyes, vague signs of bags beneath them, cheeks a bit too boney - Shizuka opened the door to glare outside. Her sweater looked too big on her thin frame. She appeared to be even paler than she usually was. Snow white - with veins lurking a soft green color from beneath her skin here and there.

“What’s up? A mission?” she wanted to know, hoping to get it over with as fast as was possible. That’s why it took her a second too long to see that this one wasn’t here to deliver a message.

Then came the disbelief. “You?”

* * *​

 

[Siu]

Navigating about the familiar district, the older teen was on a mission to fulfill the resolution made in her heart today. Yet, despite all the thorough convincing beforehand which eventually led her to determine to go through with this decision, her heart still raced anxiously, seemingly still searching for every reason to abandon that resolution. For what reason did she have to be so anxious? Wasn't this the conventional thing to do after having not seen someone for so long? For what reason, exactly, had she to not continue on with this resolution? Logically, it all made sense in her head; Yet, her anxiety insistently continued to protest otherwise.
Four years; Four long, arduous years. How much had the once young academy student now grown? How greatly had her skill improved since then? What was her current rank, now? Would she even still remember Siu? The older teen suddenly halted in the midst of the ever-bustling district crowd as yet another protest arose in her racing mind; Would knowledge of the Chuunin's presence become a great joy or great burden for the younger girl, whom now likely had far more responsibilities and obligations to fulfill and deal with on a daily basis than she had in the past as an academy student?
A large portion of Siu strongly desired to allow the girl to continue to be as she had been all these years without sudden interference of her presence. For, by now what benefit did Siu informing the younger female of her presence provide for the now, far more busy youth? Yet, her intense concern for the younger shinobi, and her earnest desire to know and understand all that had happened to her throughout the years could in no way be suppressed. Therefore, here she was.

There was a stark contrast between the common scenery of the wealthy district and within the turn of a corner, the direly unkempt, seemingly abandoned residence now in front of the visiting shinobi; If such a place could even still be referred to as a livable 'residence' any longer.

"Is this..." The older teen began, a perplexed expression clearly written across her face as she looked back down at the slip of paper residing in her hand. "...Still the correct address?"

The shinobi arched an eyebrow. There was no way Shizuka would still be actively residing in 'this' dump, would she? Ikko had informed her earlier that Shizuka had apparently been working quite closely with Yuii; As such, Siu had expected that to mean that the younger girl would have at least been provided with far more...'reasonably sightly' living conditions than this.

"Hrm.." The female noised with obvious disappointment, assuming herself to have been visiting a now outdated address. However, a knock on the door still couldn't hurt, right? Perhaps, if anyone still by chance resided within the unsightly building, they could at least provide her with information on Shizuka's updated residence. And with that thought, the teen made her way to the porch of the 'home', raising a knuckle to try her luck.

Knock, knock

..No answer.

"Welp.." The youth quickly concluded, pocketing her hands as she pivoted on a heel and rose a foot in preparation to depart. Her assumptions seemed to have been correct. However, just as she was about to place her foot upon the ground, she abruptly paused the movement, arching an eyebrow again.

...Had that actually been the sound of movement from inside?

Foot still hovering slightly above ground, the curious youth pivoted back to face the door once again for a second time, re-grounding her foot once again.

Knock, knock

And with that, the residence door would unexpectedly begin to creep open. The older teen's eyes gradually widened in response, her heart rapidly beating in suspense. The wide-eyed expression remained after her presence was greeted by the form, though for an entirely different reason upon initial observation of the home's single resident; Shock.

"What’s up? A mission?”

What greeted Siu hadn't exactly appeared to be the Shizuka she was expecting nor remembered at all; Rather, a dangerously malnourished appearing, shell of a young girl whom looked as if she required immediate medical assistance and a decent meal over any possibly life-threatening missions. The younger girl's inquiry would only be met with a completely silent, wide-eyed gaze from an individual far too filled with various emotions to even begin forming her thoughts into actual words yet.

"You?” The younger girl seemed to eventually put together.

The much taller female continued to stand in front of the doorway, likely appearing akin to a baffled fool frozen in awe. A single tear would eventually be witnessed escaping from her eye. Was this the same spunky and youth-filled academy student whom Siu had departed with four years ago? The one whom Ikko had informed her had been, 'healthy at the very least.'? Her countenance appeared haggard and lifeless, whatever youthful joy once existed in her now seemed utterly dried.
The young girl would witness the returning shinobi collapse on her in an emotionally filled embrace, the subtle sound of sniffling would reveal that likely far more than just a single tear was now falling from the face resting behind her shoulders.

"...Shizuka?" Muttered the older teen in a tone that seemed almost traumatized. The emotionally filled embrace would hold for quite some time.

"...What happe--" The older teen's attempted inquiry would become interrupted by another sniffle. Yet, this inhale wouldn't be one of whimpering, but of observation. The overflow of emotions now somewhat vented, the aroma of the youth held in her arms entered the embracing shinobi's nostrils. Retiring from the embrace, hands now rested upon each of the youth's shoulders, the youth re-examined the haggard face of her previous companion for another moment before her eyes inevitably gravitated towards the inside of the unkempt home. The sight of the glasses and bottles littered about the residence would explain quite enough concerning the current anomaly in front of her. "Oh dear .." Uttered a concerned, possibly panicked tone.

 

[Senju Shizuka]

The sun shone unnaturally bright. From beneath her dark eyelashes Shizuka studied the girl she had admired so much during her time as an Academy student. Siu had been both a friend and a mentor of sorts. She had been someone Shizuka had been reaching for. That until their paths split in Marsh and no trace of her friend was left. Of course she had hoped for the older girl to return without a scratch on her, but as the days turned into months and months into years Shizuka had learned to live with the idea of never seeing Siu again. And now, here she was, beneath the sun, standing on Shizuka’s dirty porch as if this was just another lazy afternoon during which they could hang out. The worst part was, it didn’t touch Shizuka the way it should have.

When Siu’s arms closed her in the embrace she blinked numbly while her tired bones replied by letting her incline a little bit into the hug. She stood still, silent. There still was plenty of confusion written across her face, but any true happiness was lacking. Siu was too late. She had missed Shizuka’s life just by a fraction. A couple of weeks before things might have been different. Right now she had sold her soul to the devil already.

“Come in,” came the cracking invitation. The lack of physical warmth when Siu took a step back came as a mental blow. She turned to the kitchen and soon enough her slender, pale fingers found their was around the yet to be empty bottle. She took a long sip. It was comforting, somehow.

Putting it back on the table with a soft thud she let her eyes rest on the older girl. She had changed, but that wasn’t a surprise. Both of them had grown, probably in more than one way. Lazily studying her previous friend she tried to let herself feel something more than the emptiness mixed with the fuzzy feeling of alcohol working its magic. Unfortunately she was still a bit too numb. The moisture visible in Siu’s eyes made her feel awkward. She couldn’t let out any tears, they just didn’t come. So, with a deep inhale and a vague motion to the table she shrugged.

“Would offer you something, but.. I guess all I have is wine. You’re welcome to it.” There, across of her on the counter, she could find more bottles. There was plenty for both of them to keep them busy this afternoon. Tomorrow would be another day. A new day.

“Don’t be sad, you’re alive, so.. that’s what matters.” A bit dry, perhaps even mean. Not that she sounded cruel or mocking in any way. There simply wasn’t much more she could say about the situation. She had thought Siu to be dead, she wasn’t. Good. What else?

“I was mad, at first,” the younger kunoichi spoke, taking another sip. Thoughtfully studying Siu, she drank a bit more. Two more sips, then the bottle came back to the table. She didn’t let it go, though. “where have you been, what did you do, why did you go..”

The liquid in the vessel dangerously leapt when she made a jerk with her hand. As if trying to gesture at the world beyond the wooden walls of her parents’ home. “now, however,” her eyes latched onto the bottle in her hand as if she was studying the label. It was titled to the side a bit, she wondered if it would break should she drop it or only spill. “I’ve realized it is what it is.”

* * *​

 

[Siu]

Entering into the home, the older teen mentally noted aside from the heaps of bottles littered about the room, a profuse collection of dust decorating practically every shelf and piece of furniture, heaps of clothing strewn all about the floor--likely unwashed, and the veiled windows obscuring any sunlight from successfully illuminating the abode.

Expecting the two to settle in the living room, if it could still even be called one, Siu's eyes would instead observe the youth depart towards the kitchen in order to indulge in the very substance which seemed to be already be destroying her from the inside out at the moment. Her gravely concerned, seemingly traumatized appearing eyes met the lifeless gaze of observation from the younger girl. Every swig of the bottle her previous young companion took, Siu felt as if she herself were also being damaged on the inside; It hurt her very soul to witness the one she had previously been responsible over many years ago to now be in such a ruined state.
And though, without a doubt, her received greeting had been considerably far less emotional and joyful than one might have conventionally expected in response to the witnessing of a survival and successful return of one's previous companion, somehow, Siu felt herself deserving of it.

"I was mad, at first,"

The older female guiltily looked downward upon hearing the statement, her eyes eventually inching back upward to observe the youth perform her unusual gestures with the bottle still in hand.

"I've realized it is what it is."

That single statement alone hit the older teen hard, and she immediately felt her heart drop inside. It felt as if she'd taken an emotional blow directly into the very fiber of her being.

There was a long silence after the young girl's speech, guilt and sadness unhinderedly written all upon the older female's face.

"I..." The Chuunin would begin.

What would what she say? Her lips remained parted, yet nothing seemed to escape..

"...You have no idea how desperately I desired to immediately return, Shizuka. For countless nights I lied restless in sorrow and distress, unsure whether you and Shieo had successfully returned back home, unsure whether you two were even still...alive." Came an impassioned justification.

The older girl's eyes rested upon the raised object for a few additional moments, before eventually an opposing hand rose somewhat sheepishly in protest, making apparent her disapproval of the substance and soul abuse still in front of her.

"Shizuka, how long have you been like this? I think...I think you've had enough." She'd express with both obvious concern, and a hint of sternness in her tone.

"Have you been to the medical ward, recently? I think..we need to get you checked up. When's the last time you've had a decent meal--Would you like me to cook something for you?" Siu would possibly over-bombard the younger girl with in continued concern. Perhaps, it was a desperate effort to make amends the best way she possibly could at the given moment. The guilt in her heart from her long absence away of the youth's life had not diminished from this meeting, but only exponentially increased. For, Shizuka was still physically alive indeed after all these years, yet inside she did not appear to be living any longer.

 

[Senju Shizuka]

Thinking about whether she wanted for Siu to know that she was still glad that her old friend had returned, Shizuka kept the bottle nearby. Of course, the lack of emotion and overly enthusiasm she once possessed was probably throwing Siu off guard. It, however, didn’t mean that things would have been better had the older kunoichi had stayed gone. At the moment, it was just a bad timing. The worst, probably. When you thought about it she had recently lost her parents and then made the decision to become a part of a family so far away it might not even matter they were tied together. Roots ran deepily, the Senju were no exception. They stayed connected no matter how many miles were between them; all of it sounded so pretty but in reality she was still all alone in the Cloud.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Shizuka threw in-between the sips. There really was no reason for Siu to explain herself. Knowing the older girl Shizuka had no doubt that there had been no other way. Had there been one, then Siu would have taken it. Life rarely was simple.

“Oh, you think?” A quick jerk of her eyebrow showed a bit of amusement. A cold of mocking one, she almost felt sorry that she had said it. Reacting the way she had toward an old friend was not the way to go about it. Hence her lips fell into a thin line. The reddish eyes peered at the taller kunoichi as if waiting for the latter to move.

“Sorry,” a deep sigh followed. She put down the bottle, still staring at it. The thing was pretty much empty. The urge to finish it and cuddle up with a new one until she would fall asleep or puke her guts out once again was tempting, but Siu was here. Considering telling the older kunoichi to leave she decided against it.

“Maybe you’re right,” Maybe she did have enough, but didn’t know what to do otherwise. Being here, alone, with no mission to have her hands on, well, it had caused her to fall. She’s been on the edge for a while, had thought that the trip to Leaf would make things easier. As if..

Letting the wine alone she moved back to Siu, eyeing the woman she had become. They’ve always been different - the age they were kept them apart for now. Perhaps in about five to ten years the difference would fade. Right now, however, Siu was pretty much an adult, Shizuka but a shadow of a thin teenager with bony joints and sharp cheekbones.

For a couple of moments she stared at her, wondering why she tried to give this conversation a shot. It would have been easier to avoid it, to let things run their course and do her job when she could, stay out of the way of people, let them be. They would let her be, eventually. When you said ‘no’ to someone over and over again they would get it after a while. They would let her alone. But, maybe, just maybe, she didn’t want that. It was a hard decision, one she wasn’t capable of making right now. Which, in return, had her believe that she couldn’t risk being all alone in the village she was born in. Even if she felt torn away from this - a stranger among friends with a desire that didn’t fit this place - she had to live here and survive.

Having a friend would help.

As her hesitation grew she felt her walls crumble. There was no way to simply cut off Cloud living here, knowing you were born here, having had both family and friends, some of whom still were around. Well, the wine could only wash away so much. The realisation was confronting her with her unproductive days and the sad situation she was in. It was a shame, she should be embarrassed but was too emotionally and physically spent to be just that. Instead, she collapsed. Not quite literally, the hug didn’t mean she fell or hung on Siu, but she did press herself against her like a kitten frozen kitten would have curled up to a warm chest in order to survive the incoming storm.

Gripping tighter and tighter, she found her fingers digging into Siu’s back. She held onto her with her eyes closed. The trembling only stopped when she realized that the wine had her spinning. A step back turned into a stumble. Her arm reached out to grab the table but only managed to push the bottle toward the ground. When the thing shattered across the kitchen floor so did Shizuka’s resolve to keep out everyone who wasn’t a Senju.

* * *​

 

[Siu]

The younger girl's amused, seemingly mocking tone had caught the returning Chuunin by surprise. She pondered if there would ignite an argument from her disapproval of the girl's drinking habits. That would have not been something she'd intended; A peaceful reunion was all she desired at the given moment.

“Maybe you’re right,” The Senju would unexpectedly submit.

Siu's own subtle sigh of relief could faintly be heard as she watched her former companion finally drop the bottle, the grave concern previously upon her face somewhat easing.

Yet. when the youth more closely approached and silently re-examined her, the older teen found herself wary concerning how to react to the manner. She'd gaze right back at the youth, also in silence, unsure her intentions; Had she become offended? The lack of emotion upon her facial features made it nearly impossible to read the younger girl.
Which is why, when Siu suddenly felt the frail form embrace her, her eyes widened with great surprise, utterly taken off guard by the seemingly spontaneous action. Initially, she remained still, completely baffled by the sudden act of seemingly returned affection, yet a hand would eventually find itself placed atop the youth's head in an effort to additionally comfort her. Words seemed to not be required during the embrace; There seemed be a kind of mutual understanding of feelings between the two in that silent moment.

The unexpected stumble would cause the older girl to begin outstretching a hand in a late effort to assist, an action which would shortly after become abrupted through her startled cringe as the sound of shattered glass suddenly echoed about the kitchen soon afterwards.

"I...I will get that! Don't worry about it; You sit!" The still concerned Chuunin assured. Shizuka appeared as if all she needed to do right now was really just that; Sit. At least, until she sobered up some more.

"..How about we eat something healthy?" The older girl would suggest, making her way toward the girl's refrigerator.

Leaning over in order to open the refrigerator door and overview its goods, the youth's optimistic expression would immediately drop. "...Oh." She'd simply noise upon the realization of the fridge's contents; Which really were no contents at all, aside from even more wine bottles.

Closing the door, the older girl stood back upright, a hand upon her hip as she looked back at the Senju with a somewhat disapproving expression. "....How are you surviving, here? And where in the world are your parents? This house looks like it hasn't been maintained since..." The teen paused, her eyes scanning about as she took another re-examination of her surroundings. ".....Ever.."

 

[Senju Shizuka]

“Doesn’t matter, no need to.. to clean it.” she pointed out while taking a seat. Unsure why she actually followed directions given to her by someone she hadn’t seen for years, it appeared that a part of her was still used to following Siu. Time erased a lot, but not everything, or rather, not this.

‘There is nothing healthy in the fridge’, her mind started out but her tongue didn’t really catch on. By the time she wanted to speak up again Siu had already discovered the pathetic contents of the refrigerator. Oh, she had forgotten about that stash. The amount of bottles would have been a wonderful surprise if it wasn’t for Siu’s decisiveness to get rid of the wine. Well, not literally, but Shizuka already had a strong feeling that should she want to have more of the liquor she would have to deal with the older girl first. And in this state.. well, she let the idea of another glass go.

Then came the painful confrontation. The one thing she didn’t want to talk about was thrown into her face without any regard for whatever emotional damage it would do. Of course, Siu didn’t know. She couldn’t have known considering she was probably still seen as dead herself by more than the half of the village.

Realizing that she was staring at the corner of the table right next Siu’s side she brought her eyes up. This vision thing wasn’t working out well at the moment. She wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the hot moisture stinging the corners of her eyes. Those tears should have been there a long time ago.

“Dead.” It was the first time she spoke about it so straightforward. Before she admitted that they were gone, that chances were slim she would see them back. Somehow she had even came to the point where she knew that ties with other people were required, that having a sort of family faraway was better than none at all. Because, she knew, she didn’t have anyone else. Still, the word was as heavy as any weight she had ever lifted. It rolled off her tongue with an emptiness, too.

Taking the time for her sight to focus once again Shizuka got up. If she would sit here for too long she might fall asleep and slip from behind the table. Right onto those pretty shards. Of course, in the end it wouldn’t matter too much, but Siu might feel upset about it.

“I am all that is left in here.” The young Senju suddenly announced. Her voice was hoarse, but strong. “Care for a walk?” Not that she really wanted to go outside. The sun would probably kill her if the noise didn’t. Remaining here, however, no longer felt like the right thing to do. They were alive, this place was dead. She had been slowly becoming a part of the furniture as well. Motionless in her state of sadness and overwhelming helplessness her mind had grown as dusty as those bookshelves.

“Don’t.. just don’t. Okay? It is what it is, remember?”

* * *​

 

[Siu]

An eyebrow arched, its owner baffled upon observing of the younger girl's suddenly moistening eyes after her inquiry.

"Dead."

Immediately, Siu's eyes noticeably dilated in an arduous effort to compose her great shock and prevent herself from emotionally overreacting, almost in disbelief of the wholly unexpected verdict.

...What? Had she heard that correctly?

Though one might have assumed her to be the wiser one due to her age, there were not any suitable words which the older female could find able to effectively escape from her lips despite her intense desire to ease the tragic misfortune aside from an over-clichéd,

"I'm...sorry.."

She truly had no other idea what to say, and began to feel stupid both for rather insensitive previous statements, and also her inability to find any suitable words to possibly comfort the younger girl in front of her. She wanted to relate, she desired to so intensely; Yet with two parents comfortably residing within her own well-maintained home, still joyfully alive, she felt she didn't even have the right to even attempt to speak any words of encouragement regarding the matter. How could she possibly even remotely understand what Shizuka was likely feeling right now?

"I am all that is left in here." The Senju would continue on, rather depressingly for Siu.

Like the pieces of a previously obscure puzzle now coming together, suddenly the situation she'd arrived to began to make so much more sense; The neglected maintenance of the girl's home, the heavy alcohol abuse and negligence of her health, her lifeless demeanor. How could she have been so blind and ignorant beforehand? It was here, the returning shinobi would truly begin to more deeply realize just 'how' long she'd been separated from life within Kumogakure.
At the suggestion for a walk, Siu could only simply noise an agreeing "Mmph' with a simultaneous head nod; It was the perfect suggestion for the situation. The atmosphere of the room had quickly become far too awkward.

It had truly felt as if Shizuka were able mind-read at that moment, as well; For, right as Siu had begun to open her naive mouth in a likely pathetic effort to console the younger girl, she'd find herself suddenly stopped by the youth's next statement. Perhaps, she'd just gotten used to dealing with far too many pity parties long before Siu's arrival and already foresaw what was coming.

"Don't.. just don't. Okay? It is what it is, remember?"

The older teen bit her bottom lip; It was very likely for the better anyways. Siu could not truly be sure whether her attempts to console the younger girl would have provided healing or simply been pouring salt into an already festering wound.

"Just...shut up, Siu." The older teen mentally chastened herself.

"Can you walk..?" She concernedly asked. "I can carry you on my back, if you want. We can even find a restaurant."

Exiting from the lifeless abode, stepping out onto the front porch again, the contrasting sight of busy and joyful crowds strolling about the bustling streets made itself blatantly apparent. With a heavy exhale as she gazed outward, the Chuunin could be observed retrieving a piece of folded and heavily wrinkled paper from one of the pouches upon her belt. It was not the usual thin and white paper type typically used for her jutsu, yet a thicker, brown-colored type.
Unfolding and somewhat straightening the thick piece, she would again be witnessed reaching into the same pouch, albeit with a little more struggle this time, as her hand appeared to be rummaging deeper towards the bottom of the pouch this go around. Eventually, she'd remove what appeared to be about a handful of very dried leaf bits. Her coping mechanism for also dealing with the harsh realities in life; Tobacco. Siu's coping mechanism wasn't any more innocent than Shizuka's; She simply could still walk after indulging in it.
Finalizing her preparations with a lick and wrapping of the paper, she'd place the finished product between her lips, and remove a lighter. Inhaling the calming nicotine, a substance very much required after the emotional whirlwind which had just take place within the abode, the teen still had not yet turned back to her younger companion throughout the entire process, seemingly still contemplating and collecting her thoughts from the lively scene ahead of her. Eventually, though, she'd slightly turned her head to view the youth from the corner of her eye. The younger girl would observe the smoking object held in-between two fingers, extended out to her in an offer.

"Less effective than wine," The older female would inform in what appeared to be a far more emotionally calmed state, "But you can still properly function afterwards." She'd finished with a slight, playful smirk.

 

[Senju Shizuka]

“Can I?” Shizuka thoughtfully repeated, forcing herself to peer through the sunny day. Well, if she was honest then she wasn’t quite sure about being capable to walk all the way to one of the nearby restaurants. It wasn’t far, a joke to a shinobi of any kind, but right now she was drained and drunk. The reality pushed heavily on her shoulders. She grinned while eyeing the cigarette offered to her. If Siu thought it might be a good idea then she wouldn’t argue. So, with a nod, she took the nicotine stick from her. The smoke curled up and rose toward the sky mesmerizing Shizuka in the process.

Mimicking her older friend by putting the cigarette to her lips, she inhaled deeply. It stung her lungs far worse than the alcohol had burnt her throat. She coughed, tears coming back. Barely managing to keep some of the smoke inside she refused to give up and tried again. Heavy, thick smoke slithered its way into her lungs. With effort she held it there, exhaled and briefly coughed again. The nicotine had her head spinning even more. In combination with the alcohol already taken these pulls were about to floor her. A brief chuckle escaped her lips as she got a hold of Siu’s shoulder.

“No, I don’t think that I can walk.” the young Senju admitted while offering the cigarette back to her friend. In times like these she had to rely on someone. Siu’s shoulder was right there, so she hugged it. Then, without any ceremony, she wrapped her other arm around the girl’s left shoulder and brought up her knee to wrap it around Siu’s waste. With a wobbly push she found her chin lying next to Siu’s jaw, cheek pressed against the latter’s ear. Laughing hollowly Shizuka blew a bit of Siu’s hair out of the way while hugging tighter in an attempt not to fall off. It’s been ages since someone had offered her a ride on their back. Probably years ago.

“So..” she wanted to know while clinging tightly to her friend. “where are we heading to, hmm?”

Feeling light headed she allowed her chin to rest on Siu’s collarbone. Hands hanging lifelessly in front of them as she used her upper arms to keep herself from sliding off Siu’s back. The world was a blur of colors and noises. From time to time she looked up a little to see their path move. People were probably wondering what the hell was going on here. Some might think the two were coming back from a mission with Shizuka being injured, even though she didn’t look like it, well, not from the first sight. Pale, thin, but whole - her clothes hid her bony limbs. She hoped that they didn’t dug into Siu too much.

Beneath the warmth of the sun, with someone dear to her nearby, she felt a bit warmer, a bit lighter and a little bit better. “I’m glad that you’re back.”

* * *​

MFT 500

 

[Siu]

Observing the Senju obviously struggle with the cigarette, seemingly her first attempt of the activity, Siu allowed her to discover the workings of the addictive substance on her own without bothering to interfere, an amused expression apparent upon her face as she accepted the smoking object back into her fingers.
Inhaling a final dose of the substance before discarding it, a pleased smile curled upon the older teen's lips as she listened to the younger girl actually release a sound of laughter; Her mood seemed to have improved, a positive sign. The Chuunin allowed herself to emit a few giggles herself as she felt the frail girl struggle to properly position herself upon her back, Siu hooking her arms under the girl's legs in order to provide her with stronger support.

“So..”
“where are we heading to, hmm?”

"You'll figure out." Came a purposely undescriptive response with a playful tone.

The bustling crowds bumped into, squeezed around, and swept by the reunited pair, a number of them eying the odd duo along the way. As if Siu's outlandish attire hadn't already possibly made her appear unusual enough, additionally carrying a young and frail girl upon her back whom already somewhat appeared past the usual carrying age for children indeed drew some questioning and curiosities. The returning Chuunin could have cared less, however. Her young companion had been discovered to have survived the years after the Marshland incident, despite her currently unsober and sickly-appearing condition, and the two were now on what seemed to be a gradual process of reforming their long-separated relationship. The opinions of her fellow-village 'kinsmen' were the least of her cares at this moment; It wasn't like the majority of them even recognized whom she even was anymore, anyways.

"I’m glad that you’re back.”

The older girl felt her heart warm up inside upon the statement.

"..I'm glad to see you again, too." She'd inform the younger girl with a large, delighted smile.

Continuing on through the crowded and hectic streets, proceeding past the street vendors and their various produce and metalwork stands, if the young Senju's current mental condition allowed her to be perceptive enough, she might have recognized a familiar path.

The older kunoichi's feet would eventually come to a sudden halt, the ride reaching its end.

"Were here." She'd plainly state, slightly turning her head to the side in order to more thoroughly examine the kunoichi's facial reaction, whose chin rested near her shoulder. What had been Siu's revealed surprise? Shizuka would find the pair to be standing in front of the very restaurant they had eaten together at upon their first meeting. The familiar fish tanks and clam baskets visible around that al fresco styled seafood restaurant sent a flood of nostalgia rushing towards the now, far more aged female. This had been her favorite restaurant in her youth. How long had it been since she'd last stepped foot in the establishment? The two previously blossoming kunoichi had now come such a long way since that day, hadn't they?

 

[Senju Shizuka]

Honestly, Shizuka couldn’t help but laugh. This time the sound rolling from her lips was softer and warmer. Siu was a genius, really. “After all this time, you bring me here? I hope you won’t try to feed me those slimy things again.” She teased, because the place was a nostalgic one and she didn’t mind coming here. They had met here, well, sort of. Back when Shizuka was still all energy and shenanigans - childish and impressed enough by a Genin to have followed the latter throughout the streets, sort of. The memory was a pleasant one.

“I remember being quite surprised that you actually gave me any of your attention.” Mostly Shizuka hadn’t bothered to poke older students or former ones, she had always been somewhere in-between people and being on her own. She liked to do both; have time to draw and train and be around friends. Most of which were no longer around. Only now, standing here with Siu did it fall on her just how many people she had already lost. Her parents were just a new addition to the ongoing list of people’s she’s been around who vanished throughout the years.

The burden, the curse of a shinobi life. A bitter pill to swallow once confronted with it. During her youth she hadn’t thought about it, not really. Of course the warnings had always been there, but there was a difference between “knowing” and knowing. Now she knew.

Not that that was making things easier. The grim reality of things was so far from the ideals the Academy students had upon their graduation. Some had been through a lot by then, she had not been one of them. As a child of two shinobi, a Senju by blood, she had been privileged from the start. Everything had come natural and perhaps that’s why her enthusiasm hadn’t diminished as quickly as some others’ had.

“Let me relief you from this..” Shizuka chuckled before sliding off carefully. Her hand remained on Siu’s shoulder as to keep herself steady. Eyeing the place she wondered if they would go inside or stay on the patio like the first time they were here. Another thing she wondered about was whether the lady would recognize Siu after all this time. The older girl was pretty much a young woman now.

Then, with a quick glance toward one of the tables, she smiled widely. “We should get a beer..” Maybe Siu would let her… but probably she would not.

* * *​

 

[Siu]

The teenager's eyebrows rose as her eyes traveled upward. "Slimy things..?" She repeated back, her tone somewhat baffled.

"Oh---OH; Octopus and squid! Its been so long since I've tried them!" Exclaimed an excited realization. The opportunity to once again indulge in her childhood-favorite dish after being withheld from the ability to do so for so many years was now something the older teen would find herself very much looking forward to.

“I remember being quite surprised that you actually gave me any of your attention.” The younger girl would inform, further arousing the nostalgia of the past; Precious childhood memories from days now long gone.

"I remember being quite surprised that anyone even cared for my attention." The older kunoichi joked back lightheartedly.

Relieving her support of the younger girl's legs as she felt her descension, the Chuunin stretched her chest outward, pulling her elbows behind her. A light groan followed by a few subtle cracks could be heard as her back realigned itself from its now relieved baggage. The clattering of dishes and utensils, in harmony with the chattering of abundant guests, resonated from within the establishment as Siu's eyes scanned about it; Seemingly in search of something.

“We should get a beer..” Suddenly arose the suggestion.

Not discontinuing from her task, it was questionable whether the older girl was either ignoring the younger Senju's statement or simply too engrossed in her labor to even recognize it. Over time, however, a turning of her head would reveal the teen's seemingly ever-curious eyes giving attention back to the smaller kunoichi. Her gaze lingering for few seconds as if possibly ruminating over the suggestion, she'd then crouch down, coming eye level with the youth. A finger mysteriously rose, first presenting itself in front of the child, before slowly traveling to lightly touch the middle of the younger girl's forehead.

*CLACK!*

Resounded fingernail against skin as the older kunoichi flicked the little Senju's forehead.

Standing back upright, as if nothing had even just taken place, the teen would inform, "Let's eat inside; I don't feel like chatting with Miss Izu at the moment. When she sees us we'll never get her to shut up long enough to even have a decent conversation together." A smirk formed upon her lips towards the end of her statement.

And with that, the tall girl would proceed past curious glances similar to those received when walking through the streets as she made her way towards one of the many tables within the establishment. As things appeared to be more noisily frantic inside, Siu's idea was that the chaos would allow them to become less noticeable and blend in better with the crowd, better increasing the pair's chances to avoid being seen by Miss Izu--That is, if Miss Izu were even still able to recognize the two, anyways.

It appeared as if the pair would have to wait a while, as the two servers within the restaurant already appeared terribly overwhelmed with numerous orders and request. The teen would lean back and tilt her chair, lightly rocking back and forth, tapping her fingers upon the wooden table. A pleased exhale released from her lips; Usually, she wasn't one to appreciate crowds and noise, yet the joy of finally being back into her homeland and being able to order inside her favorite restaurant again would currently overcome that nature.

"It's been too long..." The reminiscing kunoichi would state with a slightly curled smile. "We aren't that same clueless Genin and naive Academy Student who talked together here years ago, are we?---We've grown a lot."

Leaning back forward, two fingers could be observed gesturing towards her companion's eyes, then her own.

"These have changed..." Solemnly stated the kunoichi. "They're not as bright and alive as they use to be; They're not as passionate and hopeful. And so they reflect our changed nature; Neither are we anymore."
With that, she'd lean back and tilt her chair again, two hands resting behind her head in a relaxed position, eyes rested upon the ceiling. A sublte chuckle would later suddenly emit.

"Reality really got us good, didn't it?"

 

[Senju Shizuka]

Unsure what was going on next the confusion Shizuka felt was great when Siu’s finger bumped into her forehead. Rubbing the spot with some surprise, she chuckled while shaking her head. This appeared to be a “no”. Due to some reason she didn’t mind. Right now she felt less hostile and less numb than before. Altogether it looked like things were coming together. She fell into step behind Siu while wondering how things could be so natural while so many variables had changed. By the time both of them had sat down they were aware of the same thing. Siu brought it up, with a bit of darkness to her voice; reality was harsh.

“Yeah, it did.” the young Senju agreed without any hesitation. Putting her elbows on the wooden table she watched the older kunoichi leaning backwards. They must be forming an odd picture; a cloud of seriousness amongst the noisy customers who had other things on their minds.

For a long moment she took in the image. Imprinting every detail just to make sure than should this ever, no - when it would fall apart, yes, she would still remember. One day one of them would be gone. No returning like a ghost the way Siu had this time, no, there would be none of that. That was the time she held the memory for, in case she would stick around longer than the young woman across the table.

“What now, hmm? What next?” she wanted to know while shifting her gaze toward their surroundings. Some of the people in the room probably hadn’t been touched by the death of someone dear to them, others had. Neither could be tracked down, though. To an outsider feelings were kept behind locks. Inebriated as she was, she understood that.

“Any plans now that you’re back in the village? Do you have some time to recover or will the missions start rolling out soon?” All fair questions, she figured. Asking about where she’s been and what things have been like, well, Shizuka thought it was better to wait until Siu told her that from her free will. Certain matters shouldn’t be forced to face the light before they were ready for it. Only now did she understand that quite well.

From the corner of her eye should could see someone coming closer, it was a young woman who probably wanted to ask them whether they were ready to order. A good thing that it was unlikely she knew any of them - the order wouldn’t take long and no questions would be shot at, mostly, Siu.

* * *​

 

[Siu]

Due to the hectic atmosphere of the restaurant, the pair wouldn't receive much formality from their waiter. Quickly jotting down the orders on a notepad, she'd confirm their request with a nod and routine smile, before hurrying along her way. Her behavior was understandable; There were way too many individuals to cater to at the given time to afford to spend too much energy just upon a single table. Likely the mirthful group of men bombarding the restaurant with persistent request and orders while shouting and laughing aloud in all their carefree intoxication--not overlooking the need to waste an ample enough amount of beer upon the floors and tables while doing so--performed no aid in easing the difficulties of the tumult either.

Shifting her attention back to the young Senju as the waiter disappeared, the older kunoichi would give the inquiry a few additional moments of thought.

"I assume the latter." She'd eventually inform with a casual tone. "As a shinobi, you know recovery time only means slower reflexes once returning back to work anyways---I assume I'll just return back to the same thing I had always been doing before; Just riding with the flow."

A hand lazily dangled to her side, a faint snap from the bag audible as her fingers opened and rummaged through another of her belt pouches.

"Remember this?" The older kunoichi would somewhat beforehand, nonchalantly inquire as she drooped the object before the young girl. The abundance of scratches, indents, and dirt stains would testify to trials the older girl had endured over the years since her Genin promotion as she displayed the familiar forehead protector.

"Four years--I didn't wear this." A faint curl was apparent upon one side of her lips. "Without a nation, without a village, without an obligation--Though miserable, also relieving--I felt freed."

Twisting and turning the object about, the Chuunin leisurely inspected it. "And though I despised this headband, the irony was, upon being separated from it I realized there were far worse hands to be dealt out with from life."

There was a light thud as the metal was settled upon the middle of the table between the conversing kunoichi.

"Shizuka." She'd continue, somewhat gravely. "Do you still admire this headband as much as you used to--Or has your admiration for it changed now that you've become older?" A somber-like gaze would meet the younger Senju eyes as the older kunoichi's eyes shifted back up to greet them.

 

[Senju Shizuka]

Carefully she studied the piece of metal she had been chasing so feverishly during her years at the Academy. Well, she hadn’t quite chased it as much as she had desired the recognition of her skills that it would bring once handed to her. At first that was indeed the way it had felt. In fact, that’s how it’s been until quite recently. Even while surrounded by death she hadn’t been impacted enough by it to realize what the metal stood for. Of course, she had heard and read the words, made promises that had cemented her into the foundation of being a kunoichi, but.. to an extent she had miserably missed the dark side of this dangerous game. This state of being shinobi of the Cloud was a knife cutting equally on both sides. She grinned, keeping back some of her ruder thoughts regarding the matter. While she trusted Siu - even after so much time spent apart - she could not be as careless as to question their ways and actions in the middle of a restaurant. The walls have always had and would always have ears. It’s why she wondered if Siu said she had missed the village and being a part of it only because otherwise one might deem her words the road to treason.

“Perhaps I still admire the power that lies behind it, but no longer do I see it as something shiny. It’s dirty, it’s bloody, it’s a complete mess.” Shifting she slid a little closer to the edge of her seat, with elbows on the table and eyes on Siu, she tried to catch her true feelings regarding the matter, but they were quite complicated.

“When you say worse, is it loneliness that you talk about?” she wanted to know. However, she didn’t really give Siu the time to reply before adding. “Because at times it’s lonely here, too. You belong to them and yet there is no connection, no bond, we’re tied by a symbol but take it away and what do we have left?”

A bunch of people fighting, every single one of them for their own reasons.

People killed because they believed, because they thought it’s better, because it made them feel good or because that’s what earned them recognition and or money. Everything was covered in the illusion of the village. It was kept together by the Raikage and the higher-ups as to make sure that the lie wouldn’t fall apart.

When the soft laughter came, she realized how bitter it tasted and how empty it sounded.

“It’s scary, right? The idea of Cloud falling to pieces should freedom become more appealing to most.” The last bit was almost a whisper, but she let it linger despite its heaviness and the implications it brought along. One could say they were dangerous close to what was acceptable among the shinobi ranks.

“Would you care to share some more of that tobacco with me?”

* * *​

MFT 494°

 

[Siu]

Two dark pupils studied the younger kunoichi as she expressed her viewpoint, listening intently. There was a notable silence after the younger Senju's words, Siu's expression still in obvious rumination. A sigh then released, similar to the kind a somewhat mentally-burdened mind might exhale.

"Now you understand, don't you?" Aired a candid reply.

Reaching back into her belt-pouch, the sound of wrinkling paper could be heard once again as the older kunoichi motioned to remove the younger girl's request--not minding the idea of indulging in it herself, as well.

"It's not as simple as helping old lady's carry bags when they need it; We also get hired by her to kill those who steal her bags whether they are those actually guilty or not--among many other, much darker task." There was a solemness to her tone as she further expanded upon the reminiscent metaphor the younger girl had invented so many years ago to communicate her view of being a shinobi.

Uncrumpling the thick cigarette sheet upon the table, the older teen began her familiar preparations in front of the younger kunoichi.

"And though loneliness be miserable, there exist even far worse tragedies out there which make even that suffering seem adolescent in comparison. Poverty, starvation, disease, one-sided wars fought in vain--these are the plagues children and teenagers just like us, or even younger than us face on a daily basis without the slightest ray of hope. The only difference between me and most of the children of Marsh was I was better trained to defend myself--they were not. It was upon seeing these realities I considered," Raising the cigarette to her lips to lick is closed, she'd finalize her work--"if all the world tastes wicked, had we perhaps eaten the less bitter pieces of it?"
A spark of the lighter was ignited. "For, we have food on the table at least." She'd finish after releasing her first plume of smoke and offering the cigarette to the younger Senju, performing a gestured nod towards the waiter incoming with their meal.

 

[Senju Shizuka]

If this meant understanding the life of a shinobi then she felt bad for all those Academy students still wishing to get their forehead protector. Now that she thought about it, Siu had never really wanted to be a kunoichi. She, like some others of whom some were still around and others weren’t, had known from the very beginning that their lives would be grim ones. Covered in shadows of secrets, dirty tasks and bloody missions, that’s how they would spend their lives while serving the village. A concept existing for decades now. Built on myths and believes which Shizuka wasn’t sure she followed and agreed to anymore.

Finding herself sinking away in thoughts while keeping the smoke in the young Senju tilted her head back a little. From her lips the smoke curled upwards toward the ceiling. She could see through it - the reality was as bleak as the evidence of the lit cigarette rolling past her teeth. Peeling back her lips she laughed. It was all she could do before Siu pulled her back to the table. With a quick jerk of her head she snapped back, eyes narrowing in thought. There was a brief moment of confusion there.

“Old lady..?” It took a moment for the pieces to fall into place. Suddenly the confusion grew into a wide grin. Oh my, how could she have forgotten that one - the bags and all of that nonsense. Right now it felt as if those words had come from another world entirely. And in a way they had.

“I can’t believe you remembered that!” A tear of joy rolled down her right cheek. She got rid of it with the help of her sleeve. By then the meal had arrived. And the good mood had died together with Siu’s story of people starving.

“Let’s not let it go to waste then..” she nodded, took a pair of chopsticks and bowed herself over the meal. Making sure to keep some of the unruly hairs behind her ear, she looked up at Siu after realizing that the cigarette she was holding might get her hair catching fire.

“Want this back?”

* * *​

 

[Siu]

"How could I forget?" the older female rhetorically inquired back with a smirk. "It had to be one of the funniest examples I'd ever heard in my entire life."

As the pair's orders finally arrived, steaming fresh from the kitchen, Siu's eyes widened with great delight upon witnessing her long unindulged meal; The caprice to choose this restaurant now immediately felt even more justifiable. Breaking her own chopsticks, the kunoichi's attention would briefly return to the young Senju as she reoffered the cigarette. Relocating both chopsticks to one hand and reaching out with the other, she'd start to receive the unhealthy substance before suddenly making an abrupt pause—her hand instead maneuvering further upward.

*Pluck*

Bringing the pilfered object before herself, the kunoichi closely studied the strand with unusual intrigue.

"Shizuka," murmured the older female in the midst of her muse, "You're 'really' not taking care of your health—are you?"

Holding the strand further ahead, she'd dangle the single lock for display in order for the younger girl to more thoroughly examine herself. "I should be the one having grey hairs, not you at this age."

With a sigh, she flicked the object towards the floor, the singular strand dancing its way to the expresso-shaded hardwood. "I guess that's a definite sign we should probably, definitely be visiting the medical ward after this....You can put the cigarette out in the ashtray, I'm done with it."

 

[Senju Shizuka]

Shizuka let Siu have her fun even if it was a bit on her expense. To have been so naive back then, she could hardly believe it now. Of course the memory of it invited Siu to smirk - to which she had the full right. The Senju brushed the memory aside to concentrate on the food. With the delicious sent came the hunger. Suddenly she realized that she famished. Perhaps the hollow feeling she had wasn’t only a mental one, because in response to her next bit her stomach rumbled with both confusion and excitement. Every bit was incredibly good but equally taxing on her energyless body. Carefully continuing with the meal she almost dropped her chopsticks when Siu decided to pull a hair from her head.

“Hey!” An immediate frown met Siu’s musings. “What do you think -??”

Gray hair? Really? Since.. since when?

Sighing she put down the chopsticks. “No, I’m not going to the medical ward, it’s just hair. Everyone gets gray hair.” Motionlessly staring at the dying cigarette she managed to shrug. It was a lifeless one, a tired one. This little adventure had taken every bit of energy she had left. The food was yet to be processed, so she was pretty much trapped in her chair with limbs growing heavier by the second. A nap might be a good thing. The hair, well, she was unsure how to feel about it. Perhaps someone in the family has had gray hair at her age, there was no way of knowing it now. Besides, all she could do was think about the hair, she couldn’t change it back.

“I didn’t think about money.. can you lend me some? I’ll return it or get the check next time?” Offering a solution, she was pretty sure that Siu would make no problem out of it. So, after they were done, she got up and awkwardly stumbled to the entrance. The sun was waiting for them in its full glory. Closer and closer to its warm caress - she was almost there. The door was a white blur, a huge gap of white blinding light. Once she went through it the ground turned and gravity got a hold of her. In all of her confusion she remained silent as her body gave in. Only then, closer to the ground and with branches casting enough shadow on her face for her to properly see, did she realize that she was falling.

* * *​

MFT 412
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