Ninpocho Chronicles is a fantasy-ish setting storyline, set in an alternate universe World of Ninjas, where the Naruto and Boruto series take place. This means that none of the canon characters exists, or existed here.
Each ninja starts from the bottom and start their training as an Academy Student. From there they develop abilities akin to that of demigods as they grow in age and experience.
Along the way they gain new friends (or enemies), take on jobs and complete contracts and missions for their respective villages where their training and skill will be tested to their limits.
The sky is the limit as the blank page you see before you can be filled with countless of adventures with your character in the game.
I pound my fist against the door again, only to be rewarded by silence.
“Osu, open up! Please?” I shuffle from foot to foot and clench my teeth. “Come on, dude! I’m sorry, I really am! Next time I decide to make flan at midnight I’ll share some with you, I promise! Just let me in already!”
Again no response. It’s three in the morning, I’m hung over, I’ve been locked out of my apartment by the cutest dad in Kumogakure, and I really, really need to pee.
Record scratch--you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Like all of life’s problems and solutions, this one starts with alcohol. That and I sometimes forget to clean up after myself when making drunk desserts and then going out to party with the rest of the christmas cakes of the main branch. If our boyfriends wanted us to stop causing a ruckus around town they’d propose to us already.
But that’s not Osu’s issue. Osu’s issue is that he’s been operating on less than two hours of sleep a night for the last month due to a plague of frogs right outside our apartment, and my antics were the last straw so he’s locked me out the place. By the way, the frogs don’t sing for me or anyone else--just Osu. I guess that makes sense, since they were a gift for him from one of the many Jashinite cultists who drop by our place from time to time to pay respects to the twins.
“I don’t wanna go in the public toilets! They’re smelly!” I whine. To my great delight, I finally hear shuffling behind the door. “Thanks, Osu! I love you!”
An envelope slides out from underneath and bonks into my feet. What the hell? I wonder as I bend over and pick it up. Is he really trying to badger me about rent at three in the morning? Too confused to pay attention to my bladder, I open the envelope up and read what’s within.
Saeko, I love you too. Like a brother, even though you lack a weiner. And it is because of my affection for you--and my hatred for the divine being that set this deluge of amphibians upon my house--that I can trust you with a mission of the utmost importance. Complete this mission in a timely fashion and I will consider letting you back in the apartment.
I’ll have you know that my recent germophobia and intense fixation on all things Kabbalah aren’t just me trying to become a mashup of Howard Hughes and Madonna, even though both are super fabulous. No, my newfound obsessions are intensely crucial to my ongoing investigation of the greatest threat posed to our nation since fried cheese: The Holy Tenouzan Blood Church.
Now, I know you may be thinking things like ‘But they’re just harmless, off-brand Catholics!” or ‘Their pope (female) hasn’t been active for months!’ and ‘Osu should focus on solving his own problems instead of blaming organized religion!’ No, Saeko! It is YOU who is in the wrong! The Church is engaged in a nefarious plot to undermine our nation’s sovereignty and potentially strike at Kumo itself, and I intend to prove it.
A few months ago I sent one of my young mednin-in-training to infiltrate the Magdalene Order, which operates out of a convent at the foot of the World Spine, around the outskirts of Sasorigakure. They claim to be a simple contemplative order devoted to inner peace and charitable works, but the truth is that they’re actually a top-secret occult research wing of the Church. Demonic pacts, eldritch knowledge--all part of the package.
The MiT’s name is Junketsu Maria, fifteen years old and top of her class at the academy. Her orders were to join the Magdalenes as a novice and be initiated into their order after a year, during which time she was to serve as a double agent and relay information back to me. She’s an expert at disguise and psychological manipulation, so she was perfect for the job. Unfortunately, I think the Order caught her, since she stopped sending me dispatches recently. Her last transmission was some sort of garbled ancient Tenouzan ranting about finding the Lord and such, and I fear they might have tortured or mindbroken her.
I want you to go and get her back. You will probably have to join the order yourself under a false identity, since their cloister is completely cut off from the outside world and heavily guarded. Also, novice nuns take new names and do everything they can to hide their old lives, so you’ll need to do some digging to find her. I trust no one else to this task. You’re the village’s only expert on Tenouza, and you’ve even drank the blood of their pope (female). Also, I bet you have to pee really bad right now and so you should do what I say, so you can go in your own bathroom.
Oh, one last thing. If you determine that poor Maria has been...irreparably compromised, or if you suspect that she’s acting to undermine the village, you have my authorization to terminate her. I hate to think that might be necessary, but she knew the risks and volunteered freely. Now go from this place! I can hear your staphylococci creeping across the floor trying to squiggle their little gram-positive bodies onto my corpus. Away with you, fiend!
My brow scrunches as I take in the full insanity of this hastily-written screed. Is Osu even allowed to order me around like this? Not that it matters, though, because I’m irresponsible enough to have forgotten my own key, and he’s the one with the power to let me in or not. If I have to go and fetch one of his idiot trainees from the nunnery because she drank too much blood-flavored Kool Aid, that’s a small price to pay being able to read atop my own porcelain throne.
“Osu, I’ll do whatever,” I say with a sigh. “But could you just let me in first to grab a few things?”
Well, that’s that. There’s no reasoning with him now. Besides, I hear that a genuine Tenouzan nun’s habit fetches a high price in certain...intimate wear shops. That might be enough to pay for rent for at least another month. Suck it up, bladder! I tell myself, and promptly head off for the village’s sketchier locales.
* * *
The Cronopolis
Officially, the main branch has the facilities needed to forge all manner of important documents like passports, letters of marque, and guarantees of safe passage. And most of the time, our printers do a decent job for just those things. But making a genuine-looking letter of acceptance to a Tenouzan holy order demands the sort of extra-special attention to detail that can only be found in one place in the entire village: the law offices of Tanuki, Tanuki, Tanuki, and Tanuki.
What’s a law firm doing in the forgery business, you may ask? I don’t really know why myself, but those furry little youkai have always occupied the shadowy interstices in our society, so it’s not surprising that one of their companies would meld legal competence with illegal methods. What I do know is that they’re both expensive and the very best you can get. If you needed to forge an arrest warrant for the Shogun himself, you’d turn to Tanuki, Tanuki, Tanuki, and Tanuki. If you wanted to sue our liege lord for causing chronic neck pain from a fender-bender, I hear the firm's alright for that too.
Tanuki, Tanuki, Tanuki, and Tanuki occupies a musty office set in the sub-ground-floor level of a sagging tenement in a side alley of the Cronopolis, sandwiched between a brothel and where Timur’s Taco Temple used to be. It’s the kind of forgettable, cluttered place you’d walk by a million times and yet still be unable to recall clearly in your mind. The head of the firm (and I assume the first ‘Tanuki’ out of the four) is the elderly Tanuki Koukatsu, who might or might not meet with you while buck naked. I don’t think he ever actually went to law school, but that’s not unusual for these fly-by-night companies. Usually, though, I deal with Koukatsu’s son, Tanuki Kechi, who at least wears clothes most of the time. I have no idea who the other two Tanukis are, though.
After descending the tickety steps down to the office’s front entrance, I give a cursory knock and enter. “Sorry, I don’t have an appointment,” I say to no one in particular. The office looks uninhabited, but I know there are a few youkai flitting around in the shadows. “There’s an urgent commission from Sennin Yuii. I need a writ of entry to the Magdalene Order, the sooner the better. Make it out for me as the subject. Bill the raikage, of course. Cost center’s the same as usual. I’ll pop back in a few hours, thanks!”
* * *
After a few hours, I return to Koukatsu’s offices as promised. You may ask why I haven’t relieved myself in this time, but I’d ask this: have you ever tried to use one of Kumo’s smelly public toilets? I thought so.
The office still looks deserted like it did when I first arrived. But now, sitting atop one of the desks is a handsome, perfectly cut square of vellum embossed with gold leaf and illuminated with cochineal and lapis lazuli. The ink work’s crisper than anything the branch could ever manage, and they’ve pulled off a perfect duplicate of the signature of the archbishop of Raiden’s Eye. Hell, it even smells like the perfume worn by the archbishop’s own concubine (a little known fact is that the woman is the one who actually writes out a lot of the archbishop’s correspondence). Of course the job comes with a high price--one could even say a bit of gouging--but since it’s Yumers getting stuck with the bill, I don’t mind at all. I gingerly pick the letter up and skim over it.
Praise be to the Allfather and Jesu Isamu. I, Archbishop Dongatsu of Raiden’s Eye, formally command admittance to the Order of Mother Maria Magdalena for young Tanuki Rinko. Though she is a descendant of youkai, she has committed her life to the service of the Lord and is an unimpeachable candidate to join the ranks of the sister-wives of Heaven. Alleluia and Amen.
“Huh?” I grunt, and read it again. I lower the parchment and give the empty office a baleful stare. “I think you have the wrong name here. This was supposed to be an acceptance letter for me, Takaki Saeko. Not whoever this ‘Tanuki Rinko’ is. And I’m not a youkai, so that’s also wrong. Can you fix this quickly? Otherwise I won’t allow payment.”
"Kekeke!" The chair behind the desk Saeko stood in front of slowly swiveled, revealing a small mustached man with thick, round glasses. "Saeko-churoo, I'm surprised you would protest." His hands slid under the desk and produced a large stack of papers. "From what I've read, bringing children on life-threatening missions is your specialty. Thus I, the great Tanuki Koukatsu, place my lovely granddaughter into your care." The man fiddled with his mustache as he continued. "No doubt you wonder why an old coot would put his off-offspring into the care of a crazy leftover woman like yourself. Well, my son told me to get her out of the house more, and what better way than on a mission that will earn the family some money." Koukatsu gave a lazy wave. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to work with the lower end of the mission bureau to get Rinko her cut of the reward."
As Saeko began to protect her lost wages, the old man laced his fingers together and frowned. "What a shame to hear you say that, Saeko-churoo. I ask that you reconsider. I would hate to resort to blackmail." Koukatsu lowered his head, revealing sharp blue eyes. "But I will." A wrinkled hand retreated to his right drawer, returned with a set of photos. "If you refuse, I'll demand my money, all upfront, for the use of my Tanuki brand Holy Tenouzan Revolver. You didn't really think you were allowed to keep such a firearm without the proper paperwork, did you?" The tanuki spread the photos, revealing Saeko in booty shorts and a camo tank-top. "Not to mention Gun Gale cosplay using a blessed weapon is considered sacrilegious. You wouldn't be able to get within a mile of the church with such a mark on your record." From another drawer, the businessman produced a sheet of paper with an oddly drawn lemon, some text, and a handgun with a large ballsack. "Don't even get me started on the profile you've been neglecting. If I report to the higher ups that you've replaced your personal information with such crude attempts at rebellion, you may just have to relive your academy days. In which case, I will be happy to be your private tutor."
A sinister sneer spread over his lips. The man leaned forward, his prune breath wafting over to Saeko. "So you can walk away with that document, pick up my granddaughter, and be happy that you can avoid a good whoopin' from the nuns. Or..." Koukatsu spread his hands over the evidence littering his desk. "You can experience what a Tanuki whoopin' feels like. Your wallet won't know what hit it."
“...y-y-you…” My finger shakes like I’ve got the world’s worst case of Parkinson’s as I point it at Koukatsu. I probably look about ninety years old right now, too, with the blood drained from my face and a sudden case of lumbago kicking in. Not only has he usurped my top-secret mission--and my only chance of being able to go to the bathroom in a reasonable amount of time--but he’s also apparently been spying on me at KumoCon and thus knows exactly what sorts of horrible doujinshi I’ve bought and secreted away from my dearest. Forget blasphemous cosplay, religious WMDs, or even a joke profile that’s only barely tolerated because I’m friendly with some of the council. Tomo must absolutely not know where the stash is.
I collapse to my knees with the weight of a tanuki’s ballsack pressed on my shoulders. Unlike Ayn Rand’s Atlas, I cannot shrug. “Tanuki-ojiisan… what do you have against me? I’ve never done anything bad to you or your family! But then you wreck my deal with Ca’im--not to mention turning that adorable little boy into the AntiChrist--and now you’re trying to toss your own granddaughter in a convent and have her blame me for all of it? And-and-and I’m not a leftover woman! Tomo and I aren’t ready to marry yet!” I try in vain to suck a snot bubble back into my nose. “What’s wrong with Rinko, anyway? Why do you want her to leave and go to a nunnery of all places? Is she a dirty fujoshi who won’t earn her keep and runs up your electric bill? Or do you want to punish her for being a gyaru who brings too many boys home and parties all night?”
I hang my head. It’s pointless to argue with the likes of Tanuki Koukatsu. “It can’t be helped. I see I have no choice in the matter. Fine, fine. Tell me where Rinko is and I’ll set off with her. We’ll think of a cover story along the way. Just don’t let Tomo know I’ve been reading doujins with boys who look like him being bullied by assertive girls and forced to…” I bite my tongue. “Ah! Nevermind! Just gimme that writ and I’ll be gone before you know it!”
It could be worse. At least this time he's wearing pants.
"I'm glad you have decided to reconsider." Koukatsu laughed lightly as he slid the pictures and stack of papers back into his desk. "I've been informed by that small child you tried to sell a while back that I don't make very good maps. For the sake of my granddaughter, I will take precautions and not make one for you, even though my cartography is top notch." The old man took a leaf from one of his drawers and put it to his lips. He blew into the leaf, producing a loud, shrill whistle. Two tall men, one on each side of Saeko, appeared in a puff of smoke. Large grins spread on their faces as they rubbed their hands together. They spoke in unison. "What can we do for the young miss today?" Koukatsu waved a hand. "No need for pleasantries boys. The deal has already been set. Just lead this fine woman to the house for me. She'll be taking Rinko-chan under her wing for a while." The men's smiles faded as they gave unenthusiastic grunts of understanding. Each man hooked an arm with Saeko and dragged her away at top speed. Once they were gone, the old man grabbed a chocolate coin from his desk as he dialed his headset. "Kiddo? It's Gramps. Get yourself washed and dressed, you're going on a field trip. Wear something conservative, you'll need to make a good first impression. Do this right and I'll forgive all the debt you've accumulated up until now. Kisses."
***
Rinko grumbled loudly as she adjusted the bandana on her head. It was such a pain to hide her ears and tail, but her grandpa had been clear. Dress conservatively was Tanuki for hide the fact you have demon blood. She wondered what kind of trip meant she couldn't dress however she pleased, but at the very least she could deduce that the destination would be somewhere outside of the village. Within the walls of Kumogakure, few would openly persecute her, knowing full well that if a youkai was walking amongst them with such confidence, that they must have the strength or protection of the shinobi. But out there, she was something to be feared. Her chest puffed out as she took in an exasperated breath. "Why do I have to do this? What does Gramps have to gain? To...gain..." Rinko trailed off as she imagined her grandfather tossing chocolate coins in the air, letting out an uproarious laugh. The small girl's body slumped. "No doubt he's got plenty to gain if he's willing to forgive my debt. Tanuki Tenet number one: Swindle one, swindle all, even family, short and tall." Rinko slapped her cheeks, trying to psyche herself up. "This is my chance to reset my past failures and start anew!"
The girl walked to her body mirror and examined her appearance. At a glance, it was impossible to tell that she wasn't fully human. Feeling confident, Rinko changed her pose, trying to seem as innocent and meek as she could. It was far easier to go from a timid persona to her true nature than the other way around. She might be able to get away with it if she tried it on Setsu. Her lips tingled at the thought of the naive boy and she subconsciously brought a finger up to touch them. A gruff shout from outside got her attention. "Ooooooi! You done in there Rinko? We ain't got all day." The tanuki's body flinched. Now that her uncles were here, the reality of her grandpa's request was sinking in. She grabbed her advanced elements tome from the desk and held it to her chest. Was she really ready to leave the house? Was she even capable of not being a disappointment? Clutching the book ever closer to her pounding heart, Rinko made her way to the front door. "It's just a field trip. All I have to do is go outside, breath some air, say some words, and I'll be back home by dinner."
Finally the front door opened, revealing the preteen to Saeko. Rinko cocked her head slightly, looking over the unfamiliar woman. This must be my teacher... Behind Saeko, the twins snickered. Rinko wanted desperately to glare at them, but knew she had to keep up appearances. She bowed to her new caretaker, still holding onto the book of jutsu. "Good day. I am Tanuki Rinko. Please treat me kindly." The young girl straightened and gave Saeko a smile, unaware of what fate had in store for her.
Contrary to expectations, I haven’t been gang-raped by feral raccoons. And it’s small victories like that which should remind me that even when things are looking their worst, there’s always a glimmer of hope just over the horizon. My situation is still undeniably dire: I have to pee, and really badly; in fact, I think my kidneys might burst at any second. But the quest for the right to use my own restroom is something surmountable by grit, hard work, and faith.
And right now, I think I can put some faith in Tanuki Rinko, because by Jashin’s taint, she’s super cute! I actually can’t even begin to describe how adorable she is without sounding kind of like a pervert. On that note, I’m a little worried about what might happen to her in a convent. Knowing how devious Koukatsu can be, I’m sure he has her hooked by some unreasonably one-sided contract, so I know she’ll go along with the plan. The question is: just how far will she go?
“H-hi there!” I politely bow back to her, trying to seem professional and not like I’m obviously wondering where her tail and ears are. “So I’ve been…hired by Koukatsu-dono to, uh, oversee you on a small task that should have actually been done by me but because of a paperwork error…” I laugh nervously, followed by a sigh, “...seems to have fallen to you to complete instead.”
If that’s not the world’s most cringeworthy explanation, I’m not sure what is.
“We need to, uh, find someone named Junketsu Maria and see if she’s gone crazy and betrayed the village--I mean, see if she’s doing okay and needs any help--and if she has, then hit her really hard on the head and drag her back here--er, convince her of the error of her ways. The only issue is that Maria is holed up in a Tenouzan convent up in the Deo range close by here, and the Tenouzans aren’t keen about letting just any old girl into their secret club, so your grandpa made a fake letter of admission for you. That was supposed to go to me, but went to you because he’s...he’s kind of an ass.”
I’m pretty sure those twins behind me are making all sorts of stupid expressions and lewd faces about now, but if I turn around and chastise them I might just lose bladder control.
“So! What I’ll do is make sure that you get to the convent safely, get you admitted into the order, and then hang around the joint and drink a lot--help you out if I can. Which I probably won’t be able to do much of since the entire place stinks of dimeritium-infused blood and shinobi powers are near-useless! But it’s okay, since all you really have to do is find Maria and see what her deal is, then find some way to actually sneak out of the place. Possibly with Maria slung over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes, if it comes to that. Anyway, how hard can any of this be? I’m sure it’ll only take you a few hours. You’ll be back before supper!”
I crouch down before her and gently pat her shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay! And, uh, can I use your bathroom?”
Rinko kept a small smile on her face while Saeko spoke, but internally she was fuming. Are you kidding me?! Is this lady really falling for this crap? No wonder Setsu is so popular with oldbags. However, the smile slowly faded as the older woman began stumbling over her words to explain the situation. Rinko hugged the text ever tighter, most assuredly leaving a large rectangular dent in her chest. Her breathing quickened as she looked wide-eyed at Saeko. I...I have to be a nun?! I can't be a nun! Nuns are super nice and pure and don't swindle people! Rinko's eyesight began to blur, and she would have passed out if not for the light pressure on her shoulder. Coming to her senses, the young girl remembered her role and offered Saeko a worried smile. "Um, yes you may. Right this way." The young girl slid the door open and motioned for her guest to enter first. As she turned and closed the door, she scrunched her nose at her uncles who were rolling on the ground in laughter. She stuck her tongue out at them for a millisecond before slamming the door the rest of the way shut.
She led Saeko through the thin hallway to the left and opened a door on the right. "Here's the restroom. Oh, I forgot to ask...you have some yen on hand, right?" Within the room was an odd looking toilet and bathtub. Rinko entered and pointed to a contraption on the toilet lid. "It's 500 yen to open up the toilet. Just slip in a coin and turn this handle. You need the exact amount or it won't work." She moved her index finger to a small device next to the meter. "Alternatively, you can pump a bit of your chakra in here along with a prick of blood. But you'll get interest accrued, so I suggest paying Grandfather as soon as you can." Rinko moved to the sink next. "You are allowed a single pump of soap and five seconds of water. For five more seconds, it will be 100 yen." The small girl knocked on a locked metal cabinet on the wall. "Lastly, it's 1000 yen to dry your hands. Just a warning, Grandfather dyes the water a bit, so if you try wiping your hands on your clothes, it will ruin them." The tanuki girl slipped around Saeko and made her way down the hall. "I'll be outside when you're done." While she waited for Saeko's return, Rinko threw rocks at her uncles to try and get her frustration out. It didn't work.
Huh? Why would I need yen in a bathroom? I mean, I’ve heard of those atrocities called “pay toilets” springing up in the major cities and tourist hubs, but why should I feed the meter to use someone’s private crapper?
“Wait a minute, isn’t this--” I turn around to try and interrogate little Rinko only to find that she’s slipped away and unavailable for questioning, like a good little Tanuki. But regardless of Rinko’s whereabouts, things have gotten incredibly dangerous for me. Right now I’m at the point where if I move more than a few steps I’m liable to simply explode all over the place. My bladder has gone from “you should probably find a bathroom” to “drop everything and pee or you’ll be sorry” to “I’m gonna crawl up your body and wee on your brainpan” to its current state of “I’m voting third party in 2020 and fuck you too.”
Stupid bladder! Voting Libertarian is worse than simply staying at home!
Alright, whatever. This is just some joke she’s playing on me. No one’s actually insane enough to make their own toilet into pay-to-play. I’ll just use it and be done and that’s that!
But the lid won’t actually budge. What the hell, this is real! I shove my fingertips under the rim and try again in vain to pry the lid off the bowl, but it won’t move. Growing annoyed, I try and jiggle the knob that she showed me, but it won’t turn, either. A spasm hits me right in the no-no zone and I clench my legs together in terror.
Oh fine! I’ll play your damned game! Hurriedly, I whip out my coin purse and open it up, trying to see what I have inside. Five hundred to open the lid? Who the hell does she think she is? I barely have enough to cover rent and feed myself! Ugh! Fortunately, I spy what I’ve been looking for. There they sit: Three five-hundred yen coins as well as one hundred-piece. That and like a dozen ten-yen pieces that no one actually takes for anything. I breathe a sigh of relief and try empty the coin purse into my free hand.
And then fate decides to fuck me again. Another spasm hits me and I clench up. The coins go flying every which way and tinkle--Jesus Saito, even my puns are against me--all over the floor. Unfortunately, Rinko’s floor happens to have some hell of bottomless gaps in the hardwood and around the appliance stands, and my eyes widen with horror as my five-hundred-yen pieces roll toward a large crevice right next to where the toilet hits the floor. One of them falls in immediately, and the other two make a beeline to join their partner.
“No! Nononononono!” I drop to my knees to try and save my precious tokens, only to bash my head against the edge of the sink. I reel back, stars exploding in my vision and something tearing in my nethers. But at this stage I can’t let a concussion prevent me from achieving my life’s dream. “Oh, thank Jashin!” I sigh as I see that my two remaining five-hundred-yen pieces have somehow, improbably, laid over each other right next to the gap. Actually, the way they’re laying reminds me of those rigged amusement park machines where a moving metal shelf pushes a pile of coins toward a ledge, and all you have to do is add one more in the right spot and you’ll score a gazillion tokens. But we all know you can never actually win those, and in this case, that’s a source of relief.
Okay, just be careful…I might not be able to pay enough to dry my hands, but I can at least open the lid and wash myself off. We’ll just deal with the whole dyed water thing later. I bet that’s complete bullshit. I brace myself and gingerly place a fingertip on the edge of the coin closest to me, push down a bit, and then slowly pull.
The coin on top of it promptly hops off and falls into the gap.
“Niiiieeeeeee!” I shriek in disbelief, and scrabble up to the gap, trying in vain to peer in and fish out my precious treasure. To no avail, though, because my fiver is lost forever. The depravity of this moment isn’t lost on me. Here I am on all fours with my face pressed up against a bathroom floor, shouting like a slow child who’s lost her ice cream money. I’d cry, but my bladder has a monopoly on all my fluids right now.
Still, I have at least enough to pay to open the damned lid. Vengefully, I shove my previous coin into the slot and turn the lever with more force than strictly necessary. Something clicks and the lid pops up a bit. Like Raiden driving his hands into the heart of the dragon to rend it asunder, I practically tear the lid away, hike up my skirt, and plop myself down.
And before you ask, you perverts, I won’t describe the ecstasy of finally getting to relieve myself to you, because this is a Tenouzan-friendly site. Instead, I leave you with this bible verse:
“You shall have a place outside the camp, and you shall go out to it. And you shall have a trowel with your tools, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn back and cover up your excrement. Because the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy, so that he may not see anything indecent among you and turn away from you.”
After my time communing with the divine, my thoughts drift to baser things. Namely, the rapidly-increasing wrath I have for Tanuki Rinko. It’s obvious now that she’s not just some cutie who’s been dragged into a wacky situation by her grandpa. Anyone who would go so far as to make her own bathroom into a coin-op obviously has deep-seeded problems of her own.
Maybe...maybe it’s a good thing she’s going to a nunnery. Making me go through this kind of crap is like the purest expression of greed! I mean, do you honestly think she has to shell out half her monthly wages every time she takes a poo? I hope those nuns spank the bejesus out of her! Screw finding Maria! Rinko can just stay in that place forever! Yeah, I’ll show her, alright. Sorry, Osu, but your girl will have to wait. I’m gonna exact some punishment of my own!
But first, of course, I have to get out of here. Without thinking about it, I pull my undies back on, go up to the sink, and squirt some soap into my hands. Despite being full, it acts like it’s broken after one pump. Whatever, I shrug, and lather up. The water spurts out of the tap and I start to rinse, only to notice that it’s...brown.
“What the fuck? Ew!” I recoil, stepping back and wringing my hands. Is this water or is this sewage? Grimacing, I sniff my hand to find out. Fortunately, there’s no obvious taint there, but now it’s like my hands have been covered with a thin film of liquid burnt ochre (the most unpopular color ever made by Crayola) that refuses to drip off on its own. Of course, there are no towels. Just a dryer machine that refuses to turn on no matter how many times I hit the button. Oh, right. It was a thousand friggin’ yen to dry my hands!
Of course, a thousand of my yen disappeared into cracks in the floor so I have no recourse but to either come out of the bathroom looking like I basically shat right into my palms, or wipe it on my clothes, making it look like I...shat right on my clothes. Maybe…maybe I should just wipe myself off on that damned tanuki! Yeah! She’ll be so pissed when I befoul her precious friggin’ tail! Ha! Haha!
I triumphantly cross my arms in glee. And then realize that now my armpits are stained brown.
“Fuck!”
* * *
Two days later...
Order of Saint Mary Magdalene, Sasorigakure
Somehow I managed to avoid outright murdering Rinko during our journey to the nunnery, and now we both stand before the gates of the Cloister of the Magdalene Order. My outfit still looks like I’ve grown buttholes in my armpits, but we’re finally here and I’m the one maniacally smiling while Rinko looks like she’s just arrived at her own funeral.
The Magdalene Order sits right at the base of the Deo mountain range, which is renowned for its natural beauty as well as for the fertility of its nearby vineyards and orchards. Like most Tenouzan orders, the Magdalenes produce wine and beer mainly for sale and export but also for their own consumption. Surrounding the Order is the relatively well-developed town of Sasorigakure, which hosts inns and taverns as well as residences and workshops for farmers, blacksmiths, engravers, and other skilled craftsmen. Overall, the place holds a nice, rustic charm that wouldn’t be a bad setting for a nice, laid-back romantic vacation.
“Mm, what a lovely little town this is!” I comment to Rinko. “As long as you’re on your mission, I’ll be here watching over you. But since I can’t enter the cloister under any circumstances, I’ll be staying in one of the inns for a while. I’m going to call my boyfriend Tomo to join me, and we’re going to spend our time hiking the countryside, tasting at the wineries, and learning traditional crafts. And above all, fucking each other silly every night! All while you, as a novice nun will eat maybe two meals a day if you're lucky, get up consistently at three AM on the dot every day lest you be whipped, and try not to get shanked by your target.”
I give her an insincere smile. “You know, at first I hated your grandpa for sending you here in my place, but now I really think he was right to do so. I really owe him a debt of gratitude. Oh! This place is actually a little famous for its local chocolate coins! I’ll send him a big bag of them with my thanks. Now, let’s not keep the prioress waiting!”
I put Rinko’s arm in an iron grasp and wave the prioress over to us. A heavyset woman clad in the traditional dark brown nun’s habit and veil, Prioress Sister Francesca looks every bit like the stern, matronly disciplinarian we’ve all come to expect from decades of books and TV shows.
“Yes, child? What’s your business here?” she asks me.
I bow respectfully and present her Rinko’s letter of acceptance. “Honorable Sister, we have just arrived here from Raiden’s Eye at the behest of His Holiness Dongatsu. I am Nemoto Shinka, guardian of young Tanuki Rinko, who is to join your order at the archbishop’s command.”
Sister Francesca takes it from me and grunts to herself while looking over the vellum with a critical glare. She looks up at me, still glaring. “Is that poop in your armpits?”
“It’s complicated.”
Sister Francesca shifts her gaze to Rinko, then back to me. “This is rather burdensome for us. We only budget for four novices a year, and now Archbishop Dongatsu makes us take a fifth without asking me beforehand? I suppose he hasn’t deigned to increase our funding?” She shakes her head and lets out a sigh. “Well, I can’t disobey a direct order, in any case. We’ll all just have to tighten our belts to accommodate her. But just so you know, Miss Nemoto, I will definitely be sending correspondence to the Archbishop himself asking for verification. And I won’t be sending it in your hands. I trust you can see yourself off the premises.”
I bow, relieved that the handoff seems to have gone without a hitch. But at the same time, I’m worried that she’s still suspicious enough to want to talk with the Archbishop himself. I make a mental note to ask for backup to intercept the mail coming from the Order. Other than that, Rinko’s on her own.
Now it’s time to pause my part of this sordid affair and let Rinko’s begin.
* * *
Sister Francesca, Prioress of the Magdalene Order, swore under her breath as the dark-haired beauty with the unfortunately-stained outfit bowed and backed away. Yeah, Nemoto clan guardian my arse. For one thing, they’re all blonde. Anyway, let’s deal with this girl. Hopefully she’s not an inquisition spy. And if she is, then we’ll make her disappear.
She turned her attention to Rinko and motioned toward a small, nearby room built into the outer wall of the Cloister. In it was a bench and a chest.
“Very well, Miss Rinko. If you are to join our order, then you’ll need to change into your novice’s habit and veil. Take them from the chest and then place all of your worldly possessions, clothing, trinkets, books, and anything else back in the chest. This symbolizes that you’re ready to leave the material world behind and enter the spiritual one. And furthermore, there’s no need to hide your ears and tail here. Humans and youkai are all children of the Allfather, and we are all sinners in his eyes as well. The cloister is a different world than the one you’re used to. We don’t care where you came from. We only care that you follow our rules and work hard. Oh, and before I forget, here’s the only thing besides your robes that you’ll be allowed to keep for yourself,” Francesca said, and passed Rinko a thin volume. The title was barely recognizable, but one could make out the words: Everyday Labours
Everyday Labours
Sister Novices,
The following Schedule describes the daily Activities you shall attend to in your first years in our Convent. Order and discipline are the cornerstones upon which the Order of Saint Mary Magdalene is built. Any Violations of the schedule (thus marked: !) shall be disciplined by the Punishment of solitary confinement. When it is meditation you seek, prayer and study can be substituted for food and sleep.
3 a.m. start of the day
4 a.m. morning prayer (!)
6 a.m. common meal
8 a.m. work in the fratery (!), assigned by Sister Hestia
12 noon. work in the library (!), assigned by Sister Millia
4 p.m. afternoon worship (!)
6 p.m. vespers, common supper
7 p.m. compline, free time before retiring
9 p.m. rest and nighttime curfew
Jesu Isamu be praised!
Sister Francesca (Prior)
“This book,” Francesca said, “is your guideline for your first years in the order. You must strictly follow this schedule and these rules every single day, without fail. If you do not follow these rules, you will be punished as detailed within. Now, go ahead and change and make sure that you do not retain anything on your person save for the text and your clothing. Then, we’ll go to the chapel and join in afternoon worship. Your sister novices will be there, as well as the rest of the ordained sisterhood. I’ll give you a few minutes...”
Rinko emerged looking quite different from how she’d appeared in her stylish and cute-as-hell traveling clothing. Instead of a patterned skirt, knit shawl, and dainty shoes, she was now clad in a shapeless, musty-smelling, off-white burlap tunic along with a loosely-wrapped headscarf of the same material and a pair of ragged thong sandals.
Francesca gave a grunt of approval. “Make sure you have your copy of Everyday Labours. After the initiation ceremony, I’ll have one of the novices show you around the place. You’ll be free from work obligations for the rest of today, but your schedule begins in earnest tomorrow as written.”
With that, Francesca and Rinko plodded toward the main entrance of the inner cloister. In front of a pair of massive oaken doors, Francesca pulled out a keyring and slipped one of the ornate-looking keys into the lock and opened the door a crack. She motioned for Rinko to enter, and then pushed in herself, making sure to close and lock the door behind her.
In contrast to the airy pleasantness of the breeze flowing through Sasorigakure, the air within the cloister was musty, stale, and smelled of decades of accumulated incense. While some might have enjoyed the combination of odors, it was likely overpowering to most. Yet unlike the outside, the predominant sound within was not one of horses braying, blacksmiths clinking, or merchants hawking, but instead the harmonious medley of at least two dozen women singing a hymnal from the book of Isamu. As Francesca and Rinko padded closer to the main chapel, the sound grew louder.
The main chapel was the pride of the cloister: its vaulted ceiling stretched easily a hundred feet into the air, making all gathered within akin to ants in relative size. At the end lay a surprisingly simple altar and communion table, along with a raised pulpit for delivering sermons. Nearly two dozen ordained sisters stood in a rough semblance of order, their heads bowed and hands clasped but voices raised in song. At the front of the assembly, facing the sister, were four other girls clad in the same off-white burlap robes and headscarves. Rinko did not have a good chance to look at their faces, however, as Franccesca hurriedly shooed her into position at the end of the line of novices. The hymnal came to an end, and Francesca spoke.
“Fellow sisters of Mary Magdalene,” she began, “we have been blessed by the arrival of a fifth novice sister who intends to pledge her life to Mother Church. She has cast off her possessions, her burdens, and her former name, and will be known to us as Novice Sister Emiria.”
Francesca turned now to face Rinko and started to sing: ~Suscipe me, Domine, secundum eloquium tuum , et vivam; et non confundas me ab expectatione mea~
As she concluded, she looked at Rinko expectantly. The chapel fell oppressively silent, save for the occasional cough from the assembled sisters. After a few more uncomfortably pregnant moments, the novice next to Rinko poked her in the arm.
“Sing!” she whispered to Rinko.
Alright, this is the first of our mission’s optional minigames! What I’ve been trying to do is liven the standard missions up by presenting little challenges that may require some research or other activity in real life. For example, in Asami’s mission I had her pick real stocks that increased or decreased in value in real life, and their performance had an effect on her IC mission.
For this minigame, what I’d like you to try is to actually...sing!
Sister Francesca is asking Rinko to sing a common gregorian hymn called “Suscipe me,” and you can find the notes, lyrics, and samples of the song anywhere on the web. Here’s a link, for example: https://gregobase.selapa.net/chant.php?id=4509
If you’re up to the challenge, go to http://www.vocaroo.com and actually record yourself singing “Suscipe me,” and then post the link it generates in your next post. Of note, vocaroo links do expire after 30 days, so don’t worry, your efforts won’t stick around forever.
How you do will have a minor effect on the mission (mainly the other characters’ reactions) but won’t really impact your progress or success, if you’re not up to it. Also, don’t forget, you can also have someone else (ie Tama) record in your place, or find some other creative solution that I haven’t thought of.
Rinko's heart pounded against her chest as she gazed at the gate. No amount of reading had prepared her for such a sight, or the fear at seeing a place linked to a supposed god. Glancing to her escort, Rinko saw the sadistic glint in Saeko's eyes and shivered. She could be a Tanuki herself...maybe she's a distant relative? ...My mom?! That thought scared her even more, and the small girl shirked back when Saeko began listing all the horrible things that were destined to befall the tanuki. Rinko's brows furrowed. No way would Dad fall for a hag like this. He's got standards. As the two approached the large woman standing before the entrance, Rinko got in the last jab she'd be allowed before being taken into the cloister. "Just wait until you're old, ugly, and on welfare. I'm gonna be Raikage just so I can screw you out of money." The young girl exhaled as the two women discussed business. She looked out at the quaint town. At times like these, heroines usually have a quip prepared before they are led into a life they didn't choose, but Rinko couldn't think of anything clever to say. Thus she accepted her new role quietly and obediently.
Rinko's shoes clattered against the stone flooring as the two entered the small room. However, Francesca's sandaled steps were soft for someone so large, making the new acolyte feel guilty for making noise. As the Sister explained the purpose of the chest, Rinko nibbled her lower lip. Tanukis were as materialistic as they were stingy. The thought of leaving any of her things in this musty box was enough to make her swoon. But she held strong, and remained conscious as she took the text from Francesca. When the woman left, the Tanuki began stripping down. She wasn't sure if undergarments were considered worldly possessions, and decided she would take that chance. Whatever god she's now going to worship let humans make them, so why would it deny her breathable underwear that accommodated for her tail? She did give up her hair clip and glasses. She honestly only wore glasses because her father did, so that seemed like something she could get in trouble for if they found out. She hesitated most when it came to her book. She hadn't thought much on what she would be required to do once the mission officially started. Looking at it now, it could be rather detrimental to the village if she were to leave her jutsu book here. Granted, there weren't many who could actually perform such feats, but better to not tempt fate and find out one of the Sisters had mastered Fire Jutsu in her spare time. Rinko reached underneath her tail, right at the base, and pulled out a tiny scroll. With a small burst of chakra, the scroll grew in size, or more accurately speaking, returned to its normal size. She unfurled a tiny portion and shoved her book into the paper. It sunk into the parchment and Rinko rolled it back up. Using her Transformation jutsu, she made the scroll shrink and returned it to her tail. She smiled to herself as she dressed in her new garb. "Thanks for teaching me the 'Ball Scroll of Holding' Pops." As she closed the lid of the chest, Rinko got an itch in the back of her head. "Am I...forgetting something?"
Kumogakure
Kechi slammed his father's door open with his tail, revealing festive decorations in the hallway. "Pops, where's Rinko-chan? I haven't seen her in a few days." Koukatsu looked up from his accounting book. "I did as you asked." Kechi cocked an eyebrow and gave his father a gaze that urged him to continue. "You said to get Rinko-chan out of the house, so I sent her on a mission." The younger Tanuki frowned. "I meant get her to socialize, not make her work." Koukatsu waved the combative comment away. "She is socializing. I bet she'll learn a lot from Saeko-churoo." Kechi's eye twitched. "Saeko? Really Dad? That woman is the last person in this and any dimension that I want speaking with my daughter. Well, at the very least Rinko-chan's probably learning what kind of woman NOT to become. So when will she be back?" The old man looked at the ceiling and tapped his chin. "Depends. How long does it take to become a nun?" Silence enveloped the room as Kechi's mind processed the question. After a minute, the young man slammed his hands on his father's desk. "WHAT?! What do you mean?! What did you DO?!"
Koukatsu explained the situation to Kechi, causing the orange-haired man to clutch his heart. "A nunnery? My daughter in a nunnery? How could you send Rinko-chan to such a place right before her thirteenth birthday?!" Koukatsu's eyebrows lifted. "Oh yeah, today's her birthday, isn't it... I was wondering why I had these free coupons for the bathroom." The old man pulled out slips of paper from his drawer and fanned them on the desk. "She'll be so happy to be able to use her allowance for things other than the toilet...well, when she gets back. Wait, where are you going sonny?" Kechi paused in the doorway and looked to his father with a somber expression. "I'm going to the passport bureau. A vacation in Sasorigakure sounds lovely right about now."
Rinko shook her head lightly. "Naw, I'm probably just nervous." She opened the thin book given to her by Sister Francesca. A pit formed in her stomach as she scanned the duties she would be required to perform, and it only got worse when she glanced at the designated times. "What in Raiden's name is a fratery?" Rinko shrugged her shoulders and slipped the small manuscript into her unnecessarily large sleeves. "They'll explain it...I hope..."
Exiting the room, Rinko followed the Sister through the area, and gasped as she took in the large building. This was nothing like the temple she'd visited to pay respects to her original youkai ancestor. This place seemed to reach for the skies. Was the one she would be worshiping an air spirit? Would it bestow upon its followers a wind blessing? Would that boost her speed or resistance?
Rinko was jostled from her mystified musings by Francesca's introduction. She bowed to the other ladies, both to show respect and to hide the obvious dissatisfaction with her new name. She didn't need more things to remember. New place, new people, new gods, and now a new name. She lifted and watched the Sister beside her sing, but wasn't listened to the words or tune. She instead pulled her full attention inward as she attempted to memorize her new name. Emiria,Emiria, Emiria. The poke at her arm caused Rinko to flinch, wiping her mind of everything except the single word whispered to her. She opened her mouth and let loose a tune that any girl who has seen all Bisney Hime movies would respond with.
The final echoes of Rinko's song rose to the chapel's ceiling, echoed like the longing of a certain mermaid, and then dissipated into the ether. Sister Francesca's mouth hung agape at the obvious breach in protocol, but she nevertheless seemed to swallow whatever words were forming in her mouth and turned to face the assembly.
"Jesu Isamu be praised," she said. "Amen."
"Amen," echoed the sisterhood. Without prompting, the formerly-still bodies began to move and mill about, slowly winding their ways to the chapel's exit into the inner courtyard of the cloister.
Francesca turned to Rinko again. "Well, Novice Sister Emiria, that was certainly...unexpected. Forgive me if I begin to doubt your fluency in Tenouzan Latin, but I suppose any deficits will be corrected with years of good, hard work in the library. My suggestion is to cram in your free time. Sister Millia hates it when unskilled novices mar her precious vellum with gibberish. Now, as I said before, you are free from work obligations for the rest of today. That doesn't mean you get to slack off, though. A fellow novice will need to show you around and orient you, so you may work without interruption tomorrow." She eyed the four other girls in burlap who stood nearby. "Who among you will volunteer for the task?"
"I will, Prioress!" announced the one who'd poked Rinko earlier. This time, she took Rinko's hands in her own and beamed at the young tanuki. "Greetings and welcome to the order! I'm Senna. I'd love to show you around!"
Francesca nodded in approval. "Good. Thank you, Novice Sister Senna. Once you two are done, then please join us all for evening meal and compline. Isamu bless you."
"And you too, Prioress," Senna said, and cheerfully set out for the cloister with Rinko in tow.
The Magdalene Order was housed in what Rinko would discover later was the standard configuration for most Tenouzan monasteries and nunneries across the world. As much fortresses as they were places of religious contemplation, a Tenouzan cloister was usually built with high stone walls and secure, heavy gates that could easily repel most siege efforts, even if the attacker had brought modern cannons. The actual center of a cloister was usually a good-sized inner courtyard, usually housing various outdoor gardens, with an open, covered hall ringing the entire place. Directly adjacent and going outwards were usually the main production and administrative facilities found in most cloisters: the dormitory, kitchen, dining hall, and chapel were all the usual features, along with the common additions of a library, scriptorium, and fratery. Not all cloisters had the same facilities, but all shared one thing in common: the outside world was to be kept firmly outside.
"So, your new name is Emiria, right?" Senna asked Rinko as they started to walk the circumference of the inner hall. "That's really cool, you know. Saint Emiria's definitely in like the top three most horrific deaths in the entire Fukuin! I can't imagine being thrown into a pit of centipedes after being coated in honey. Yucky! My namesake only got herself burned at the stake or something lame like that." Senna stopped and crossed herself. "Ack! I meant no disrespect, though! Anyway, um, what I meant to say is that I'm really glad we ended up getting a fifth girl! We're not really supposed to be having fun here, but...you know, I think it'll be really nice with you on board. I mean, we're all here for the rest of our lives, right? Might as well enjoy our time, as much as it acceptable in the eyes of the Lord, that is."
Senna stopped and pointed to one of the entrances nearby the chapel. "Oh, right, the tour! Anyway, through there and up the stairs is the dormitory, where most of us sleep. It's like a giant communal slumber party at night! Except no pillow fights, because we don't have pillows... But at least we have beds with real cloth sheets and stuff. The only ones who get private rooms are the Prioress and the Abbess, just so you know. That's only because they often stay up way late to take care of running this place. It's not for sinful purposes or to hide anything."
A short distance later, Senna paused again. "And here's where we eat. Just so you know, we're granted two meals a day, and they're always some form of porridge. At least it's hot, though. In the back of the dining hall is the kitchen and storeroom. We novices aren't really going to be involved in cooking, in case you were curious. They say it's too much temptation to throw at us in our first years with all the loose food and beer and wine laying around. Bottom line is that we're not allowed in there, on pain of a whipping. Which is fine with me, since I didn't like cooking at all in my former life. Well, next is the..." Senna stopped as a pair of sisters in gray habits passed by. But unlike the other sisters Rinko had seen here, these hadn't been at prayer at all, and furthermore on their hips hung some long and thick rods of birch.
"Aren't you supposed to be at dinner, Novice Sister Senna?" asked one of the gray sisters, hand falling swiftly to the birch rod at her hip.
"Isamu bless you, Circatrix," Senna said with a bow. "Prioress Francesca directed me to show our newest novitiate around here."
"Ah, then carry on. Bless your soul, dear Senna," the gray sister replied with a smile. Swiftly, she and her counterpart moved on.
Senna let out a small sigh. "Well, you were gonna meet them anyway. Those sisters, Emiria, are called 'circatrixes,' because they're the ones responsible for patrolling the cloister and enforcing order. And as you saw, they all carry a birch rod which they're just...itching to use on our bottoms! And that's their only job, too. So don't think about doing something like playing hooky when you're supposed to be working or in the chapel. They'll catch you and give your behind some fresh new welts to thank the Allfather for. Slack off repeatedly, and they'll toss you into solitary confinement for an entire day, with nothing to eat or drink! Well, let's move on."
By now, they'd both traversed most of the distance around the inner courtyard. Senna pointed to two entrances near each other.
"To the left is the library and scriptorium. That's where about half of your daily labors are done, you know. Our task as novices is almost entirely to transcribe and copy texts contained in the library. I know in the outside world they have printing presses and stuff, but the thing is that a lot of of the ancient texts we have in here really can't be duplicated in that fashion. They're either written in totally archaic Tenouzan subdialects that don't exist anymore, or have been forbidden for mass-duplication by the pontiff or inquisition. So we have to hand-copy them if we want to preserve them. Oh yeah, and to the right is the fratery. If you're wondering what that is, it's an old Tenouzan term for a workshop. In there, we have all sorts of facilities for things like alchemy, gunsmithing, glassblowing, anything that helps with research that keeps Mother Church able to help everyone out. Don't worry if you're not too familiar with those things. Everyone has a hidden talent. Sister Hestia will find yours, and you'll become a master of your craft soon!"
With that, Senna did a small pirouette. "And that's all! That's life in the cloister! Oh...yeah, there's a main door leading to the outside, but you're not really interested in that. And none of us have the key, anyway. Only the Prioress carries one. Anyway, I'm glad I could show you around! To tell you the truth, I'd kind of been praying for someone new to join us. So...Emiria, I hope you might be the answer to my prayers..." Senna blushed and then turned away. "Anyway! Let's get some dinner before mealtime ends, and then really you can mill around for the next two hours before bedtime. I'd love to hang out with you more, but I understand if you want to meet the other girls, or just spend the time meditating or something. It's a lot to just up and leave your former life behind. Many times, it doesn't hit you until you're a few days in. Just so you know, I'm here to talk whenever you want. Did you have any questions?"
* * *
Her curiosity sated, Rinko eventually made her way to the dining hall. Inside, the nuns of the sisterhood sat at a pair of long communal bench tables silently slurping their porridge down. At the head of the hall, one of the sisters read aloud from a book perched atop a lectern.
"...The sisters shall have nothing of their own, neither house, nor land, nor anything, but as pilgrims and strangers in this world, serving the Lord in poverty and humility, let them confidently go asking alms. Nor let them be ashamed of this, for the Lord made himself poor for us in this world. This is the highest pitch of poverty which has made you, my dearest sisters, brides of the kingdom of heaven, which has made you poor in goods, and exalted you in virtues..."
Before Rinko was set a bowl of cold porridge topped with a single raw slice of a leek. This reminded her of Saeko's parting words: ...all while you, as a novice nun will eat maybe two meals a day if you're lucky, get up consistently at three AM on the dot every day lest you be whipped, and try not to get shanked by your target...
Despite appearances, Rinko's life was still in danger from a hidden threat.
Rinko withheld a sigh of relief that her blunder had been generally accepted by the other ladies. Though the respite was short lived when Francesca warned the young girl to ensure her Tenouzan Latin was perfected or face the consequences. This mission was going to be unlike anything she'd experienced in the village. If you're crafty enough, it's possible to get away with years of living as a student in Kumogakure. No missions, no responsibilities, and only a few classes if your family is one of the rare, financially successful clans that know every loophole in the Laws of Kumonin. She was so caught up in her thoughts, that she almost missed the name of the girl who agreed to guide Rinko through the monastery. She quietly whispered the girl's name under hear breath and looked over the girl's features. If Rinko was to survive, she needed to learn about the ins and outs of everybody within these walls. Junkestsu Maria. That name wasn't going to help when everyone got new ones. But Rinko had to remind herself about her goal. She just needed to find the girl and...take care of her. The tanuki shuddered as she recalled Saeko listing off all the brutal ways she could kill Maria using the items found in an abbey. She turned her focus to the architecture, looking for any weak points she could exploit in the future. Unsurprisingly, there were none.
When Senna began to speak, Rinko tensed her shoulders and gave small nods. She would stick with the same strategy as she did two days ago. Look quiet and meek to earn cute points, show boldness only when it will profit. As they continued on their way, she kept a small smile on her face to seem nervously optimistic. When the two ran into the armed nuns, Rinko tensed further. She cowered behind Senna, and pulled her ears flat. What rank of nun gets to ignore all the religious junk and just beat others with a stick?! ...And how do I become one? Senna explained the purpose of the grey-clad sisters, and Rinko nodded timidly. "Circus...tricks." The word was foreign and frightening, yet admittedly exhilarating. She inserted the word into her memory and persisted onwards to the next locale. Rinko noted the library, and wondered if her prior hand seal training would be sufficient enough to help her avoid hand cramps. She couldn't afford such a hindrance if this place was as dangerous as Saeko had said. When Senna explained the fratery, Rinko furrowed her brows and cocked her head. The tanuki could understand alchemy for medicinal reasons and glass blowing for decorations, but something about gunsmithing made her think of conspiracy theories that would make Bankai Yumers proud.
With the closing of the tour, Senna asked if Rinko had any questions. She nodded and spoke in a quiet voice. "Um. How did those Circus tricks get their positions? I want to avoid doing anything that will make me have to beat anyone up..."As long as I have to keep up this charade anyway."Oh, also...if you wouldn't mind, if you could make sure I'm woken up gently. I...well, there's a reason that I was brought here to live the rest of my life in...what was the word...celery." Rinko hugged her tail and looked pathetically at Senna. She purposefully left her statement vague, as her father had taught her the importance of letting others draw their own conclusions. It let her avoid telling too many lies. Playing the pity card early was important as well. She needed to get her "sad story" out fast before she learned about their tragic backstories and would be obligated to pity them first. "O-other than that, I'm fine for now. I might ask you some questions later though. Right now...I think I need to let everything sink in."
The meal was as horrible as she thought, but not from the food. It was the book reading that turned her stomach. Poverty...the bane of a Tanuki's existence. Just the thought of living her life without the clinking of coin or the crinkle of cash was enough to make Rinko debate whether she should test her spoon's seppuku capabilities. But she shook her head and began eating. I won't be here forever. I just have to find Maria and go. The porridge lumped in her throat, but she'd eaten worse. Her grandfather was never known for his cooking. When everyone finished their meal, Rinko did her best to mimic them, doing some odd hand gestures that almost triggered an unintentional transformation. She'd need to keep that in check. The last month she'd been working to make her chakra flow freely, only to have to suppress it now. Bad timing is...bad.
With Rinko free from sisters and tours, she avoided the puppy-eyes Senna was sending her way and chose to spend her time in the library. While the monastery was calm, the tanuki girl was a vortex of anxiety, and she needed to center herself before she accidentally gave anything away. Luckily the library was relatively empty. Since the sisters spent so much time scribing, it was no surprise that they wished to avoid the stench of weathered tomes and scrolls in their free time. For now, Rinko found it comforting. She approached Sister Millia and bowed her head. "Bless you Sister. I...I am feeling overwhelmed and would like to meditate. Might I have quill and scroll t-to organize my sentiments that I may better convey them in prayer?" The stern woman glowered at Rinko, analyzing the validity of her request. The small girl returned the gaze, determined to display her conviction. After three silent minutes of scrutiny, Millia finally pulled the materials from her desk and pointed to a table within the woman's view. Rinko nodded and sat where instructed.
As she unfurled the scroll and dipped her pen, Rinko pondered how best to handle this. This scroll was to be her secret notes, but as they weren't allowed to possess anything, she would have to return it to Sister Millia before leaving. It was possible to write in chakra like her father had taught her, but it was a very flashy form that would give away her abilities instantly. While currently she didn't have anything too scandalous to note down, if she wrote normally only to switch to an odd code later, it would raise suspicion. She could use numbers, but that would probably make the nuns think they had to beat the youkai out of her. Finally, she settled on poetry. Literature in general didn't always have to make sense, but poetry especially was one of those special writing forms that could get away with no form, rhyme, or reason. For now, she just needed to get all the important words out of her brain and into writing.
In June, I begin
Lady Maria awaits,
Jesu Isamu.
Sister Francesca,
The Prioress who named me,
Emiria, praise.
Language I must learn,
T'is Tenouzan Latin,
Diligence is key.
Names I must commit,
Senna, Millia, and more,
May memories last.
Circus tricks bear rods,
Their punishment swift and true,
Bless them all the same.
The library here,
My time spent forever here,
Bring the past forward.
Fratery to craft,
May Hestia find my use,
I pray for my muse.
Vespers, then dinner,
My poor life begins anew
Have mercy on me.
I look at my life,
The sins of my past begone,
What will be in store?
Mixed with the haikus were more traditional and sporadic poems about the seasons, a dream she had, and other random things that came to mind. She filled the page with such ramblings to practice for when she would need to keep more secretive notes. The more compact and difficult to read, the more likely it would be that her real intentions would be skimmed over, or so she hoped. For now, however, Rinko took solace in the fact that she had no incriminating evidence to mark down. She would live, for today anyway. She returned the scroll and supplies to the librarian and bowed her head. "My meditation is complete for today. Praise be to Isamu for his patience. I will retire t-to the dormitory. Good night Sister Millia." Rinko made her way to her sleeping quarters. She'd never slept with people other than relatives before, and silently fretted that she may be a sleep talker and not even know it. Regardless, there was no backing out now. Sister Francesca was the only one with a key to leave. Rinko was in holy prison, and a part of her couldn't help but wonder if she deserved it somehow. When she reached the communal sleeping area, she searched for Senna to direct Rinko to her sleeping spot. It would be rather shameful to already make an enemy due to carelessness. For tonight, the tanuki girl would rest. If she were being watched, they would do it now when she first arrived. She would truly begin her search for Maria after she had garnered some trust in the cloister. What could possibly go wrong?
As Rinko exited the stairwell leading from the library, she saw Senna idling nearby. The girl's arms were crossed and she softly hummed to herself as if she'd been trying to fend off sleepiness while waiting for Rinko the entire time. Upon seeing Rinko exit, Senna seemed to perk up.
"Oh! Hey, I was wondering where you'd gone," Senna said. "I was almost kind of scared that you'd tried to escape or something," she added with a giggle. "In any case, compline's over so we'd better get to bed. Technically, you're not expected to be at morning services until four, but it's recommended to rise at around three or so. Otherwise it's impossible to pee and then you have to hold it all in for two hours during mass. Follow me?"
She took Rinko by the hand and the two girls turned a corner together before coming up to another stairwell. By now, the rest of the sisters and novices had mostly made their way to the dormitory, and Rinko could already hear the muted bustle upstairs as mattresses were fluffed, sheets laid out, and habits changed. The sleeping quarters were up, but there was another path leading down, and from it wafted a peculiar smell. Perhaps it was Rinko's heightened senses as a tanuki that allowed her to perceive it more acutely than any human could, but the smell of cheap alcohol was enough to make her want to gag.
The dormitory was a long, low-ceilinged space laid out like any barracks in the world. Set apart in regular intervals were rustic-looking wooden beds, each one with a thin, scratchy mattress of straw stuffed into a burlap sack and topped with a homespun blanket. As Senna had indicated before, there were no pillows in sight--just lumps of wood cut with a shallow impression for the back of one's head. Mounted on the walls nearby each bed were rusty iron hooks that could be used to hang up clothing, if needed. By now, the rest of the cloister had laid down already, most already snoring, with a few exceptions quietly talking amongst themselves in hushed tones.
"Both novices and sisters sleep here," Senna said. "There's technically no assigned spots, but we novices usually keep to near the stairwell, since timeliness is super important. If you want, um, you can sleep next to me!" She walked over to what Rinko figured was her own bed and fluffed up the pathetic mattress a bit before hopping in and pulling her blanket over.
For Rinko, the experience was likely every bit as bad as she'd been dreading. The mattress smelled moldy and offered no padding, the homespun blanket was simultaneously scratchy and too moist, and the "pillow" was...as comfortable as one can get sleeping on a log. Any aches and pains that Rinko had already accumulated were now multiplied tenfold. As she struggled to get comfortable, she heard Senna speak.
"Oh yeah, you asked me how to become a circatrix. Well, those are sisters who worked very hard for years to exemplify the virtues of the order. They're trusted with discipline because they're the most morally centered of any of us. I'm sure if you work hard, you can become one, too. After all, you need to be one to become prioress. You know Sister Francesca? Her nickname from her younger years was 'Redbutt' because she could really give out a spanking. Anyway, that's not something to worry about right now. Right now, you need to just do your best and follow the rules, okay? I know it might be hard at first. But...they say that suffering and self-denial in this life is the path to salvation. So what if the food sucks and the beds are lumpy and the work hours are long and dreary? I'll get to spend eternity in the arms of someone who loves me. The Allfather is kind and wonderful and listens. He's not some...some shithead who plays with my heart and then abandons me and acts like I don't exist." Senna wiped at her face, but from where she was, Rinko couldn't tell why. "I don't know what your story is, and frankly, I don't care to know. But whatever bad situation you escaped, well, this place is safe from that. Anyway, I'm..." she yawned, and then spoke no more.
Now left to her own devices in the silence and darkness of the dormitory, Rinko attempted to fall asleep. The day had been a long, confusing, and uncomfortable one. It was easy, she realized, to be so preoccupied with trying to follow the rules and adjust to the rhythms of life in the cloister that a girl could forget her identity. Eventually, and despite the discomfort, her lids grew heavy, her thoughts grew more disjointed, and she fell into the netherworld of dreams...
...Only to awake to the sensation of metal pressing against her throat and a hand clapped over her mouth.
"Easy there, Fluffy," a girl whispered in her ear. "Squeal, and I'll stuff that purty lil' mouth of yours with centipedes!"
With the implied threat of getting her throat slashed open or being force-fed wriggly biting creatures, there was little Rinko could do but comply at first. Her eyes flitted from side to side, trying to make out who her attacker was in the darkness. The voice didn't sound like anyone she'd encountered yet--Saeko, Francesca, Senna, Millia.
"Don't worry, Fluffy," the girl whispered again. "I'm not here to off ya, or rape ya, or even to take yer stuff, seein' as ya got none, anyway. I'm just fixin' to see if you're interested in a little...business venture, if ya will. It's obvious that yer tail and ears aren't just part of a furry fetish, but the genuine article. Not in my wildest dreams did I figure a tanuki like you would ever willin'ly join a sisterhood like this, but hey, if you're stuck here then I figure we can work together for some fun and profit. Unless you're the kinda 'coon who actually believes in this poverty and chastity crap. If you are, then I'll just leave you alone and we both go back to sleep like this never ever happened. So, girl, ya wanna hear me out?"
Rinko glared up at the darkness. This was what her father talked about. This was what set Tanuki apart from a common thug. Gaining profit through words and blackmail was far superior to a physical threat and racial slurs. All this person was doing was causing the teen to loathe her immediately. So this is what the desire for unbridled vengeance feels like... No one in Kumo had ever dared called her such names, or threatened her with body harm like this before, and the wish that this person would bite her own tongue off was strong. But Rinko remembered her guardians' lessons well. Whoever this chick was, and whatever she wanted, could be useful. Based on how this individual had decided to approach the tanuki, Rinko undoubtedly was going to be ratted out once her use was up. The race to get everything the two could out of each other before the inevitable betrayal had begun. Slowly, Rinko nodded her head.
"Good girl. Smart girl. Now I'm gonna take my hand away. Wait for a minute, and then make your way to the bottom of the stairwell, real careful-like." Slowly, deliberately, Rinko's attacker eased the blade away from her throat. "Don't wake miss 'holier than thou' up over there," she added, waving the blade in Senna's direction.
From where Rinko was, Senna seemed to be deep in the grip of sleep, occasionally letting an occasional muted snore escape her otherwise serene visage. The hand clamped over her mouth lifted away, and Rinko could no longer feel her attacker's presence nearby. Whoever the new girl was, she moved and struck quickly and quietly, like a trained cat-burglar...or even like a shinobi. With that uncomfortable thought in mind, Rinko silently rose from her uncomfortable mattress and padded her way to the bottom of the stairwell.
The new girl waited in shadow against one of the walls near the opening to the inner cloister, perhaps keeping watch for patrolling circatrices. When she saw Rinko approach, she stepped into the light. Perhaps contrary to what Rinko had expected, this new arrival looked nothing like a hardened criminal. Instead, her features were most decidedly noble in appearance. A cascade of perfect blonde hair arranged in princess drills framed a heart-shaped face with deep purple eyes, generous lips, and flawless skin. She was the type of girl one would expect to see lounging around in the Shogun's court, not in the middle of a nunnery. And certainly no one would have expected her to possess such a crass and vulgar voice.
"I'm Jocasta," she said, at first unconsciously starting to curtsey but stopping herself from doing so. "Not my real name, obviously, but that's one of the only upsides of this shithole. So, Fluffy, let's lay out some things straight here before we go plunderin'. I bet you're thinkin' something like: oh I'm so gonna rat this bitch out and make her chow on some prioress cunny the first chance I get, but lemme tell ya somethin' first. Those circatrices? I own 'em. And before ya think I'm fulla shit, take a deep whiff, if you will."
Rinko didn't need to, as the alcohol smell from earlier was becoming headier by the moment. Jocasta continued.
"It turns out to be no big fuckin' surprise that life in a nunnery is boring as fuck. So what do the most morally upright of sisters do every night? Drink themselves stupid, of course. Every other idiotic sister here thinks they can't play hooky because they're gonna get whipped, but the truth is that most of the circatrices can't even see straight for most of the day. They're either still wasted or nursing an ass-bang of a hangover. I haven't even been to morning mass for weeks, now, and the prioress can't do dick about it. So the bottom line is that if ya try'n stab me in the back, you're the one who's gonna starve in the hole. I also have personal insurance," Jocasta said, drawing her blade and flashing it at Rinko before secreting it away in her robes.
"So why did I approach ya, you're wondering? Well, I heard ya Tanuki types are awful good at fetching things. Illegal things. And it so happens that I need a way to get to the outside world right now. My latest shipment of Kelmuran brandy's stuck outside, and the circs are getting antsy about running out soon. But because your dumb ass decided to show up, the prioress did a sweep of all our belongings and took away my last lockpick. So that's where ya come in, Raccoon Girl. I want you to get me some new picks. I hear Sister Hestia has some hidden in the fratery, but she won't let me near the tool cabinets. You could also try'n take the prioress's own key. And hell, if you're real ambitious, you can even try'n sneak into the prioress's room and go through her shit. I bet she has some real nasty and expensive shit up there. I even hear she has a big book where she keeps the dirt on everyone in the order. I'd pay ya extra to bring me my own page. Just don't get caught, or it's all on you. Now, when ya get a key or a pick, we'll get the shipment, give it to the circs, and divvy up the reward. With my finder's fee and commission charge, I take three quarters, of course," she said, and then started to make her way back up to the dormitory. "I'll leave the deets up to you. Just get me a way outside. "
Rinko has now met Novice Sister Jocasta, second of the five novices. From here, you can decide what course of action to take in the investigation. You can go back to bed, skulk around the nunnery at night (a book with dirt on everyone might prove useful in the investigation), ask Jocasta more questions, go find an adult, burn this motherfucker down... I leave it to you
Rinko couldn't hide the gleam in her eye as Jocasta spat out her proposal. Nothing made a Tanuki forget about vengeance faster than a money operation. The blonde girl said her piece and left, which Rinko was happy for. She needed time to think without the threat of a knife to the ribs. Infiltrating the Prioress's bedroom was out of the question. There was no way Francesca wouldn't notice her key missing or her book defaced. While masters of transformation, a Tanuki needed to have a constant thread of chakra to any item they converted. She could transform an item of similar size into the key and leave the original behind, but keeping it hidden and explaining to Jocasta why only Rinko could use the key would open a whole new jar of slugs. It seemed that a premade lockpick in Sister Hestia's possession would be the best bet. Tomorrow she was scheduled to work in the fratery anyway, so she could better assess the situation then.
For now, Rinko needed sleep. There was only six hours between the designated curfew and the start of the 'next day', and Rinko had already wasted some of that precious time with Ms. Pigdrills. On her way back, the Tanuki girl heard footsteps and quickly transformed into an ant. The large feet of a circatrix passed by, and it wasn't until the lamp light fully disappeared around the corner that Rinko shifted back. The girl shuddered a bit. "I hate doing that." She made sure to tread lightly after that close encounter, and finally made it back to her sorry excuse for a bed.
---
Rinko stood on the small hill, the snow and stars glistening above. The crunch of snow brought her attention to a small figure in the shadows of the Delectatio trees. Emerging into the moonlight was Setsu, his shriveled posture giving away his nervousness. The boy approached Rinko and smiled up at her. "I'm so happy you're back Rinko-chan! I missed you a lot. Like...a lot a lot." The lad buried his face into her pre-pubescent chest, and something compelled Rinko to wrap her arms around him. "I was worried you wouldn't come home in time. I have some super important news!" Setsu pulled himself away and placed his hands on his stomach. "We're pregnant!" Rinko's face pulled back in terror. She tried to scream, but her throat was clamped shut. The smiling boy's brow furrowed as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Emiria?" He lightly shook the tanuki and repeated the foreign name. "Emiria? Emiria?"
---
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"
Rinko's screech filled the room as she bolted upright. Despite the frigid morning air, her body was soaked in sweat. It took her a few seconds of looking around the room to help her come to her senses. Beside her, Senna was cowering. "I'm sorry! Was that not gentle enough? Did I hurt you? But you were already late in..." She wasn't able to finish as one of the sisters yanked Rinko up by the ear. "Shut up and get up! You don't get special treatment just because you're new." Rinko's body shook, but not due to the sister's threat. He's not pregnant. Guys can't get pregnant.....right? Shit, why did I skip my sex ed classes!? Feeling just as exhausted as when she entered sleep, the tanuki girl mindlessly followed behind Senna as the cluster of girls migrated to the main chapel.
The next four hours were a blur. Senna was a Raiden-send, making sure Rinko was properly positioned for morning prayers. The girl didn't regain her senses until a sharp jab to the stomach almost made her slam face-first into a bowl of porridge. To her left was Jocasta with her elbow still pressed into Rinko, though above the table it didn't look like the blonde girl was giving her furry seatmate the time of day. To her right, Senna worriedly placed a hand on Rinko's shoulder. "Are you okay Emiria? You haven't touched your porridge, and it's almost time to get to work. The Circatrixes will beat you if you waste food." Rinko eyed her bowl with dread and look around the table. All the other girls were finishing their meals, leaving her with little option. She plugged her nose and brought the bowl to her lips. The slop gathered at the back of her throat, and it took every ounce of resilience to subdue her gag reflex. She swallowed a few times and then chugged her glass of water. Her face scrunched in pain as a wave of nausea washed over her. A strong stomach was definitely not a trait of the Tanuki family. Senna shrunk back in fear of being in the splash zone, but calmed when Rinko's face relaxed. The girls left together, and Senna giddily swayed back and forth. "I'm really excited to see what Sister Hestia will have you do. This morning I prayed that you'd have the same job as me so we could spend even more time together." Rinko silently nodded, rubbed her belly in an attempt to keep it calm. Whatever her job, she hoped it would get her close to the tool cabinet. If not...then Raiden had forsaken her and she might legitimately take this religion seriously.
Life in the cloister was one of routines. Unchanging, unyielding routines born centuries ago, and which had remained unchanged for their entire existence. Outside the walls was the hellish domain of the secular world, with its ceaseless wars and famines and plagues. A poor peasant could have his crops ruined by hail one day, and the next see his family put to the sword by the roving armies of some bastard prince attempting yet another coup. But inside the walls lived stability and faith. No matter how degenerate the ruler or how unfriendly the weather, the sisters of the Magdalene Order always had their sustenance, their beds, and most of all, the enduring love of the Allfather.
That being said, the food really sucked, though. With the morning's porridge snaking through her guts like a leaden snake and shingles of sleep falling from her eyes, Rinko hobbled off in the direction of the Fratery, with Senna leading the way. By now, the sun was in its mid-morning position, making for the first daylight Rinko had seen now since her initiation the previous day. A quick glance around her showed that her fellow initiates probably weren't doing much better in terms of feeling tired. All except Jocasta, of course, who returned Rinko's glance with chipper smugness. Before too long, the girls entered the arched doorway leading to the Fratery, and quietly lined themselves up for inspection before Sister Hestia.
"Wakey wakey, ladies!" Hestia said, clapping her hands together.
Unlike the other sisters Rinko had encountered so far, Hestia by far looked the least like a nun among them. Unlike the prioress or some of the circatrices, Hestia didn't seem that much older than many of the novices, appearing to be in her twenties at most. Instead of a nun's habit, she wore a well-scorched leather apron whose pockets bulged with tongs and calipers. And instead of a wimple, her wavy red hair was simply tied back by a bandana emblazoned with what looked like death metal skulls.
"Now is not the time to doze off, you hear? We have some dangerous equipment in this place. The Allfather's not gonna do jack shit to help you if you get pulled into a lathe or dunked in a vat of acid. You are your own protection, so act like it! Now, your daily assignments. Senna, you're mixing powder today. Antonia, you're at the forge with Jocasta, Rucilla, you're cooking, and... oh yeah, Emiria. You'll be helping Rucilla for now."
Jocasta let out an audibly disgusted sigh and rolled her eyes, while Senna's face fell.
"No bitching, get to work!" Hestia said, giving Jocasta a swift swat on the rump with a long metal ruler. Jocasta yelped in surprise and quickly scurried off. Senna didn't need to be told twice and also slunk away in the direction of what looked like a chaotically messy alchemy station.
With that taken care of Hestia sidled up to Rinko and threw an arm around the girl's shoulders. "So you're the new girl, eh? You know, I dated a Tanuki some years ago. He was like, the most well-endowed guy on the planet. Kinda makes me think twice about being a nun sometimes...but if you've had the best then everything else is kinda blah in comparison. Anyway! This is the Fratery, where we make things that people of outside world find useful and more importantly, want to buy from us. Wine, beer, guns, candy, fentanyl--children of all ages love our wares. I assign the daily tasks based on what orders have come in and need to be completed, and also supervise you all to make sure no one's sticking things where they don't belong. You'll rotate at all the stations eventually, and if you find something you like a lot, you can specialize. Today, you're gonna be making granola. The local adventurer's guild put in a bulk order for the stuff and we're trying to complete it as fast as we can, so Rucilla could use the extra help. You should have all the ingredients you need here, but if you want anything special, just ask and I'll try and get it from the kitchens. Oh, and one more rule: see that red toolbox in the center of the workshop? No one touches it but me. If you want something from it, you have to have a damned good reason. Have fun!"
With that, Hestia lightly shoved Rinko in the direction of the massive oven that occupied a corner of the Fratery and bounded away, no doubt to prevent Jocasta from mischief.
The Fratery itself was much larger inside than Rinko had initially thought it to be. An open-floor-plan workshop, it had its own areas dedicated to various manufacturing tasks like smithing and carpentry, but also seemed to have a large section of floor space devoted to alchemy. Ominously, some of the racks bore large glass containers full of what looked like pickled eldritch horrors and other alien parts of unknown provenance. No sooner had Rinko taken it all in, than a large gust of fire shot up to the ceiling from the direction of the forge, accompanied by Hestia's yelling and Jocasta's whining. And in the center, mere steps away but visible to everyone, was Hestia's red toolbox.
Before Rinko could simply walk over and loot the thing, however, she felt someone timidly tugging at her sleeve. As soon as she looked over, the novice who'd done the tugging immediately shrank back and started to blush deeply. Slightly shorter than Rinko, Rucilla looked about the same age, with a delicate, soft-featured face. Feathery tufts of light, bluish hair peeked out from under her veil, complemented by long, curly lashes of the same color.
"S-sorry!" Rucilla blurted out. "F-for touching y-you, I mean. Without a-asking, that is... Um, but we s-should get to work...as long as it's okay with y-you, I mean."
Despite the admonition to get to work, however, Rucilla still seemed rooted in place and unable to move, much less look Rinko in the eye. "U-um, I'm uh, R-Rucilla. And y-you're Em-Em-Eminem, I m-mean Emiria! Oh God, I'm sorry! I mean, wait, not 'Oh God,' because w-we shouldn't take Allfather's name in v-vain." Rucillia quickly whipped out a rosary and started to rub it between her palms and mutter prayers to herself. "Um, I s-saw you at your ceremony, y-you know. I thought y-you w-were r-really really really b-beautiful--I mean y-your SONG was b-beautiful! I m-mean, l-like..." Rucilla looked like she was about to cry, and turned an even deeper red than before.
"Hey!" Hestia shouted over from the forge, which now bellowed thick black smoke up and around its hood. "Aren't you two supposed to be cooking? All I smell right now is dumbassery! Get on it, new girl!"
Rinko has now met Sister Hestia, as well as Novice Sister Rucilla (Lucilla?) who seems to be...awkward for unfathomable reasons. Or perhaps she's actually Maria?! Can Rinko make the best of a weird situation and somehow get her hands on (or rather, in) Hestia's (tool) box? Don't forget, time is running out...
For your IRL task, something simple this time. Rinko's been charged with making granola for adventurers to snack on, but in real life, Rinko and Setsu have adventures every day! Thus, your task is to make some granola! You can follow any recipe you want and make it however you want! Just take a photo of it and link it to the site! Your mod will judge it based on how appetizing it looks, hehehe.
Cooking... Rinko waved off Rucilla's fussing as she looked at the ingredients spread out on the table. Unless there was a detailed recipe on the proper crafting of these granola bars, there was undoubtedly going to be mistakes. She looked to Rucilla and prayed the girl could make up for her shyness with some great happy homemaker skills. Not to mention that Rinko needed to get into that toolbox. The tanuki was drawing a blank until Rucilla mentioned her singing. T-that's it! What's more distracting than someone annoyingly singing while they cook? Nothing! That's what!
Rinko 'accidentally' knocked one of the wooden spoons to the ground on the side of the counter away from prying eyes. "Oops, I'll get it." She lowered herself to the floor and performed two quick hand seals. Brown goop seeped out of the stone floor and morphed into a replica of Rinko. As it stood with the spoon in hand, Rinko slunk behind a barrel of apples. Sweat quickly formed on her brow from the chakra exertion, but she had no choice but to continue. She forced the clones mouth open, and it began singing.
I'll pile on the candy, it's such a pretty sight.
It makes the food taste dandy, but my tummy hurts all night.
I'll put in some ingredients, but keep the rest for me.
I'm not just disobedient, I'm stingy can't you see?
It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake, but that's not what we're doing,
Gotta make granola without nuts, or people will be sueing.
Add a dash of sugar chocolate balls, perfect for White Day wooing
If you do some cooking for a schnook...
Then you'll have some cash.
I want it in a flash.
You know that I love cash.
Finally, it's time to make some cash.
Making food is just like alchemy,
With tools that blend and baste.
And every fun amenity,
Gives the food a different taste. (HEY!)
It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake, but that's not what we're doing,
Gotta make granola without nuts, or people will be sueing.
Add a dash of sugar chocolate balls, perfect for White Day wooing
If you do some cooking for a schnook...
Then you'll have some cash.
I want it in a flash.
You know that I love cash.
Finally, it's time to make some cash.
I want it in a flash.
You know that I love cash.
Finally, it's time to make some...you gotta do some cooking for a schnook. Cash!
While the Mud Clone bounced around the counter and helped stir the honey, brown sugar, and butter together, Rinko racked her brain for solutions. An idea came to mind, but if she was spotted, there would be no question as to her true background and intentions. Within the shadows of the barrel, Rinko hand sealed again and a small cloud billowed out from her. In her place was a small mouse, and while the clone continued its show, Rinko scurried to the toolbox. She silently cursed herself for ditching arm day as she used every ounce of her might to lift the metal lid. Trying desperately not to make a squeak, Rinko lowered her left arm into the box and began shuffling the contents around. General tools littered the inside, along with unorganized nuts and bolts. As the last of her strength waned, Rinko's paw clasped onto a thin rod and a crinkled metal tip. It would have been easy to lift them out if not for the large metal body connected to the lock pick. Of course she'd have one of those fancy Marsh Army Picks. With little time remaining before the lid would slam shut, Rinko utilized her metal affinity to infuse the picks with chakra and gently fling them out of the container and onto the floor. Luck would have it that Jocasta took a hammer to metal at the exact moment that the toolbox top clanked shut. Rinko dared not look to see if Jocasta knew what was going on, and instead bound towards her apple barrel hideout with lockpicks in tow.
The song was drawing to an end, as was Rinko's stamina. The Mud Clone sank behind the counter, and the Tanuki girl scrambled to take its place. She released her transformation, slipped the lockpicks into the base of her tail fur, and sprang out from behind the counter in time for the last word. "Cash!" Rinko felt sweat trail down her sides, and her breathing was heavy. As she pressed the granola mixture into a pan, she had time to examine her clone's work. The granola didn't smell burnt, but Rinko quickly noticed that she'd forgotten the chocolate chips. Whatever. It's still edible.....probably... The young girl looked to Rucilla and whispered. "C-could you help cover for me while I get my breath back...I'm feeling...really lightheaded." Rinko's gaze shifted to Hestia. Did I do it? Did I really get away with it?
“Of-of course!” Rucilla gasped, just as Hestia suddenly drew near to where the two girls stood in front of the oven.
“Hey slackers!” she said. “Between the yowling and banging and dropping stuff on the floor, did you make any progress today, or…” Her eyes abruptly widened at the sight of the enormous pan of freshly-pressed, steaming granola cooling before her.
“Yes, we did, Sister Hestia!” Rucilla announced, seamlessly taking the lead and placing herself between Rinko and their overseer. “Please try some!”
“Whoa! How’d you actually make all this?” Hestia leaned over and inhaled deeply, then broke off a small piece near the end and stuffed it into her mouth. “By the Allfather! It’s... really good! Way better than usual, and we’ve been making this stuff for thirty years! Did you alter the recipe or anything?”
“Forgive us for doing so, but yes,” Rucilla said, keeping Rinko out of direct sight. “You know how one of the great issues in baking is how to make chocolate-chip granola less of a complete mess when you try to eat it?”
“Of course,” Hestia said. “The Keebler Principle.’
“We were thinking, what if you encased your chocolate bits in a candy shell before throwing them into the mix? Then the chocolate would still turn gooey and soft while baking, but the candy shell could preserve their shape and prevent everything from turning into a drippy mess.”
Hestia bowed her head, deep in thought for a few moments, but then started to nod. “I see how that could work. I still think that might violate the second law of thermodynamics, though. Regardless, this merits future study. Tomorrow, your task is to try and duplicate this. Only then will we be able to make a credible claim. Still, good job today!”
“I couldn’t have done this without Novice Sister Emiria,” Rucilla said, smiling graciously as she stepped aside to reveal a hopefully recovered and less sweaty Rinko. “She really gave me some inspiration!”
“Would you like me to pair you to up tomorrow?” Hestia asked.
Rucilla’s face lit up instantaneously. “I’d be very happy to continue our work.”
“Okay, but control yourself,” Hestia said, patting Rucilla on the head. With that, she turned and clapped her hands to get the rest of the girls’ attention. “Alright! Time’s up, ladies! I’d love to keep you here all day, but Sister Millia’s gonna get pissed if I keep her little scribes away for longer! Get to the library!”
As Rinko started to shuffle on to her next assignment, she by chance turned her head and met Rucilla’s gaze. Once again, the girl’s expression was one of pure, unbridled brilliance. With her cheeks cupped in her hands, she seemed not to stare at Rinko so much as through her.
“Did I help you?” Rucilla whispered, her voice darkly quavering. “I did, didn’t I? I made absolutely sure Sister Hestia didn’t see how excited you were. I’m good at these things, you know. Just ask me anytime, and I’ll help you again.” Her mouth curled into a smile that quickly crossed the line from enthusiasm to something else. “Actually, you don’t even need to ask. I’ll know. And I’ll do anything for you, Emiria. Anything and everything.”
Before Rinko could react, however, Rucilla turned and bolted away.
* * *
The most dangerous weapons still in existence weren’t ancient thermonuclear warheads, roving semi-sentient plagues, crash-landed extraterrestrial killing machines, or even the slumbering elder gene-dragons of yore. They were something far more mundane: ideas. Ideas that had originated during a time countless centuries before, during the near-mythical Golden Age of humanity, when mankind was said to have launched ships to the stars and nearly unified humanity under a single, hundred-forty-character mode of speech called the “tweet.”
For centuries, the Lightning Country Shogunate had relentlessly sought out and destroyed all ancient works from humanity’s arrogant past, for the ideas and concepts contained within those moldering books had the potential to once again plunge all civilization into darkness from which it would never recover again. By controlling the dissemination of ideas, the Shogunate as well as all other nations had ground humanity’s progress to a halt, but in doing so, had ensured the survival of the species. Shinobi were among the most feared agents of such stability. They made sure that heretical, world-ending ideas never flowed out to the populace to wreak havoc, no matter the cost.
The Scriptorium of the Magdalene Order of the Tenouzan Blood Church, however, was protected from shinobi influence, so long as they too kept the dangerous tide of ancient destruction at bay. They could read and learn and even profit from such works, so long as they never let their precious books and recordings behind their walls. Librarians of the church, like Sister Millia, had an ancient and dangerous duty, and one they adhered to like their lives depended on it. Because they did.
Thus, it didn’t take long for Sister Millia to recognize that young upstart who’d approached her the other day, begging for some parchment and ink.
“I read your...scribblings from the other day, Novice Emiria,” Millia said, fixing Rinko with the same disapproving stare she’d had yesterday. “I’ll have you know that you’re walking a dangerous path there. Poetry, particularly that written for ‘fun,’ can be one of the many paths leading to heresy. It doesn’t take long before passages about devotion to the Allfather turn into passages about indulging in food and drink and fornication. Even worse, you might start wasting your time writing about fanciful and sinful adventures on some website about pretending to be a ninja!”
Millia, by now, had bent over so far that her forehead rubbed into Rinko’s. Realizing where she was, she backed off a bit. “That being said, it’s unusual to see a novice your age who’s so skilled with the pen. I won’t inquire about your background, but usually girls who can write so well come from families who can send them to the best academies. So, instead of having you copy down psalms like the rest of the girls, I have another task for you.” She jerked her thumb in the direction of a novice sitting at a corner scribe’s desk. “Novice Sister Antonia over there is like you: well-educated but prone to sin. No matter how many times I smack the back of her hands with a ruler, I always catch her sneaking a glimpse at some forbidden manga or BL doujinshi. So I want you to instruct her in the more virtuous aspects of writing. Together, you may be able to overcome your mutual deficiencies and achieve more holiness. Come with me.”
Reluctant as Rinko may have been, there was no disputing a direct order from her superior. Along with Millia, she walked over to Antonia’s desk. The purple-haired girl was hunched over her work and seemed to be furiously copying from a hymnal, but Rinko could tell that there was something artificial about her movements. Moments before Millia could see what Antonia had on her desk, the girl slammed her text shut and looked up at the two with artificial cheer.
“Ah Sister Millia?” Antonia asked, too chipper. “I was right in the middle of Saint Isamu’s ‘The Virtue of Not Fapping,’ but…you see, there was a huge bug crawling across the pages so I had to kill it!”
Millia grunted and opened Antonia’s book again, revealing a small, paper-bound text decorated with pictures. And not just any pictures, but pictures of gorgeous young men in close proximity to other gorgeous young men, and clad in nothing but tiny bath towels. She gingerly fished the smaller text out and held it before the young woman.
“I don’t recall Saint Isamu drawing racy pictures like these,” Millia said. “And even if he had, I don’t think they’d be accompanied by dialogue like: ‘Oh Kato-kun, it feels sooo goood! Rub me more!’”
Antonia gulped. “Um, that’s the problem with these old books, right? Lots of stuff gets included as addendums and…”
Millia sighed. “Novice Sister Emiria is the only other novice as skilled as you are in the literary arts. From now on, you two are to work together on your scribe duties. You will supervise each other, and make sure neither falls to temptation. For your first task, you are to compose an essay on the dangers of traveling entertainment troupes, particularly the famous ‘Mochizuki’ troupe that makes its way through the countryside spreading sin and deranged ideas to the young.”
“Wait, you mean like Mochizuki Tomo?” Antonia said, with practically a squeal. “I love Tomo-sama! Can I get tickets to his next concert? I’ll write a really good piece, I swear.”
“Silence!” Millia said. “Of course you can’t go. I don’t really care if you know who the hell they are or not, or even what their music sounds like. Just write something convincing and get the first draft on my desk by the end of today. That’s the end of it,” she said, and left, conspicuously taking the BL manga with her.
Antonia let out a sigh and let her forehead hit the scribe table with a thump. “Ugh. Just ugh. I worked really hard to find that copy of ‘Hot Spring Love,’ too. Now it’s gonna go in the Liborium Prohibitorium and I’ll never see it again. This sucks, you know? I don’t know about you, but I didn’t sign up for this gig to copy lame-ass hymns over and over again every day, or to bash my favorite idol for the pleasure of some uptight archbishop.”
She turned her head and stared at Rinko for a moment. “Wait. I know who you are!” Her face crinkled into a devious smile. “You’re Jocasta’s friend, right? God, you shoulda heard her going on like a little schoolgirl about her new ‘besty,’ hah! Ssh! Don’t worry, I’m not gonna rat you out. I’m kinda here on false pretenses, anyway. Not that it matters, since there’s no real escape from this place. Look, I don’t wanna actually know what kinda BS you’re planning to pull with Jo, but as long as you’re gonna risk getting yourself thrown in a cell, wanna help me, too? I have a mission I’d like some help with. I have some clients with very deep pockets, if you’re interested.” Antonia looked up, just in time to see Millia approaching again. “Shit! Look like you’re working! Um, write some bullshit about the troupe or something, anything!”
Rinko has now met Novice Sister Antonia, the last of the five novices. And like Jocasta, she’s got a potential mission that might make Rinko a tidy bit of cash…
BTW, the face that Rucilla's making to Rinko is essentially the "Yuno Gasai yandere face" if it wasn't very clear. Which might cause unexpected issues later on, heh heh heh...
There’s no specific OOC task assigned for this post, but feel free to write some smear pieces about Tomo or Tama or whatever else you want!
Rucilla was a saint. The initially shy girl seemed to burst into leader mode when Hestia approached, giving Rinko ample time to air out her burlap robe and catch her breath. When it was decided that the two girls would attempt the same baking tomorrow, Rinko felt relieved...until she caught the disturbing gaze of Rucilla. The Tanuki shuddered a bit, but forced herself to nod her head to the question. Before she could properly thank the girl, Rucilla rushed away. Rinko clutched her head while propping herself up with the counter. "It's a yuri harem up in here. Dad's trashy shounen collection didn't prepare me for this. I knew I should have searched harder for his hentai stash." With Rinko's sense of accomplishment overshadowed by her looming dread of ending up in a paradoxical time loop of women fawning over her before ultimately murdering her, only to resurrect and do it all over again, the tanuki girl begrudgingly dragged herself out of the workshop.
Now that she was away from the sweltering furnace and oven, Rinko was able to cool her head and think a bit more clearly. I need to get this lockpick to Jocasta...But what then? I can't be a gopher forever. Besides it being a disgrace to the Tanuki name, I also have a mission. I have to find Maria. She...she was an MIT if I remember. So maybe if I get hurt, it will draw her out? 'Cause they have to take that hippopotamus oath thing, right? Rinko was lost in her thoughts until Milla's sharp tone yanked her attention to the looming woman. She played with her fingers as the woman lectured on about sinful writing. Glad I didn't write in Ancient Kumo, she probably would have claimed I wrote in the demon's tongue. The girl bit her lip, trying desperately not to smirk at the idea of her being a ninja. Technically, she wasn't...yet...
Milla brought Rinko to a table with another new girl. The Tanuki's tail wagged under her robes at the small glimpse of shirtless men covered in droplets. She pinched her hand to snap herself out of her own fantasies and took a seat with Antonia. Rinko's ears twitched at the mention of her being friends with Jocasta, but she kept silent. Nothing good could come from making enemies. She planned to ignore this new girl and focus on writing, but money is a Tanuki's one true love. She glanced at Antonia and pondered the possibilities. On one hand, helping out the girls could give Rinko a leg up in her own mission. Conversely, if Sister Francesca caught wind of Rinko's involvement in all these dastardly deeds, it could make things even more difficult.
Rinko opened her mouth to answer, but clapped her trap when Antonia told her to look busy. With her attention fully on the paper, Rinko wrote the title of her essay. As for the contents, the kunoichi-to-be was happy to smear the Mochizuki name in the mud. While they could be used for marketing purposes, they tried to keep everything within the troupe. If they got a bit of negativity thrown their way, it might lead to business. Thinking back, Rinko distinctly remembered Saeko mentioning spending time with her boyfriend, Tomo. She quietly scoffed to herself. That woman is more delusional than I thought. I bet she's been laying in bed with a Tomo dakimakura this whole time. Well, I will have the last laugh. Time for some revenge.
Traveling Performers Turn Every City into Sin City said:
The entertainment business has been around for centuries. Usually, these bands of actors, musicians, and the like would stay in their own cities, keeping the masses amused while generally settling down with a man or woman when their performing days were over. However, with the rise of traveling troupes, one notable troupe being the Mochizuki Troupe, the men and women of today are in peril of becoming lecherous lust leeches. With the troupe rarely staying in one place for too long, they suck the sensible civilians of their senses and move on, with no one being the wiser.
Between the corrupting music and the sinful dancing, these troupes cause men and women alike to believe they love these performers, instead of the Lord. These humans then believe themselves to be lovers of these thespians, and become delusional. One such woman is Takaki Saeko, who does lustful things to a body pillow while screaming the name of her imaginary boyfriend. It is...
When Sister Milla moved to lecture a daydreaming Rucilla, Rinko took the opportunity to scribble on a sheet of blank paper and hand it to Antonia under the table.
Whoever Antonia had been in her former life, she was clearly experienced in the ancient art of academic subterfuge, also known as “passing notes back and forth.” She afforded Rinko’s note the briefest of glances, then crumpled it up and promptly swallowed it while passing the gesture off as a yawn. From then on, time passed monotonously by without incident. The communal scratching of quills on parchment was a dull hum, punctuated only by the occasional rustle of turning a new leaf.
Just when Rinko might have thought that Antonia had rescinded her request for help, she felt the girl’s hand slip some paper into her robe. “Read it later,” Antonia muttered under her breath, just a few moments before Sister Millia waddled over again to inspect their work.
Silently, she skimmed the pages, her breath wafting against the back of Rinko’s neck. Finally, she grunted in what some might have interpreted as a sign of approval. “Not bad for a first effort, Novice Sister Emiria,” she said. “I particularly liked your cautionary tale of this unfortunate ‘Takaki Saeko.’ You painted a vivid image of a pitiful wastrel whose mind has been turned to diarrhea by the ravages of pop culture. I will send this to our printer for immediate release. Why, we should see copies posted in town this evening. Now, you are all dismissed to afternoon prayer.”
As Rinko’s copy of Everyday Labors stipulated, there would be no divergence from the day’s schedule, on pain of agonizing and humiliating punishment. After their duties in the scriptorium, the novices could look forward to two hours of prayer and repentance. Silently, the girls made their way back to the chapel and took up their hymnal books. After a brief inspection by Sister Francesca, they started their contemplation. Rinko had the fortune of being assigned to the back of their formation, affording her the chance to look over Antonia’s note.
Haaaay Tanuki-chan!
This is, like, totally not gonna be a surprise for you, but I’m totally not a novice nun wannabe! I’m actually a secret agent of the bakufuu, and Mochizuki Tama’s apprentice! That’s right, I’m talking about the Lord Protector Herself! YASS QUEEN SLAAAY! Since Tama-chi’s gone preggo, I’m on fieldwork instead of her, yay! Anyway, you might wonder why I’m up front like this, and that’s because I can totally tell you’re not a novice nun wannabe either. Can’t tell if you’re like, Cloud ANBU or Hoshigakure Espada or whatnot, but you’re clearly some flavor of shinobi. Keep your chin up, buttercup! I’m not gonna rat on you! We blackops girls gotta stick 2gether! xDxDxD
You’re totally wondering what I’m doing here, right? Like, gag me with a spoon, I hate it too! Anyway, my mission is to like, spy on the Order from the inside and find evidence that they’re plotting against the Shogun. In case you didn’t know, he’s totally Tama-chi’s boyfriend. I need to report my findings, but my contact on the outside has totally gone missing! So when I heard that you and JoJo were up to something, I knew that was my chance. I need you to pass this letter--this one you’re holding right now--to someone who can get this to Tama-chi. Like, there’s totally a secret message in here, but you can’t read it because you’re not Tama-chi’s cutest disciple! Nyah! If you do it, I’ll make sure that the bakufuu like, pays you a lot of gold! $$$$$$
Oh, and like, be careful! I think my contact might have totally been killed. I found a bloody piece of someone’s blade at the dropoff, and since then I’ve been like, too scared to try anything on my own! I think one of the girls--not you, duh--is up to no good. ;_;7
#SecretAgentProblems
With that, the prayer concluded, and the girls silently filed out of the chapel and toward the dining hall. Again, Rinko sat down before a bowl of lukewarm porridge of unknown provenance, topped with a single long green onion. A sister began to drone in a dull monotone as she read from the Fukuin, and again, Rinko struggled to down her meager sustenance. Routine was life in the cloister--and more tangible than the Allfather. When Compline finally arrived, Rinko now had some free time before bed. And immediately, her troubles began.
“Didja get it?” Jocasta growl-whispered in Rinko’s ear as she roughly pulled the young Tanuki into one of the alcoves dotting the perimeter of the walkway. “And don’t ya dare fuckin’ tell me ya didn’t get it, either. I had to actually look like I was working to keep Hestia from busting your dumb ass! Now my beautiful slender arms are gonna grow all kinds of muscle and turn gross! Anyway, meet me tonight, at the exit. We’ll go out and bring the stuff in-- Ow! What the shit?”
“Novice Sister Jocasta,” Rucilla said, cheerfully as she twisted Jocasta’s arm from behind. “I think you’ve taken up enough of Emiria’s valuable time. She’s not interested in vulgar little trollops like you. Leave us.”
Jocasta shot a death glare back at Rucilla. “What the hell is your problem? Touch me again and I’ll kill ya!”
Rucilla’s cheerful expression remained unchanged. “I asked you to leave.” She subtly tensed.
Jocasta’s retort died in her throat as her eyes bulged, her face flushed, and her knees buckled. “Ow! Fuck fuck fuck! I give! Okay, okay, lemme go! I’m sorry! I’ll leave! Jesus Saito!”
Rucilla let go, and Jocasta collapsed to her hands and knees before crawling pathetically away. Rucilla turned her attention back to Rinko. “Oh darling Emiria, did she harm you at all? I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop her from accosting you! Next time I’ll be more vigilant, I swear! Oh, darling, I really wanted to hurt her badly. I could have ripped her arm out of its socket and beaten her to death with it, but I didn’t want to get blood on your face. Emiria, you have such a lovely face, did you know that? I’m so truly lucky to have you! And I want you to know that you no longer have to worry about anything else ever again, even your novice duties. I’ll make it so you can sleep in instead of going to morning prayer, although I really enjoy making with you and hearing you sing, so we’ll make sure that Sister Hestia always puts us together for our fratery tasks, and that Sister Millia always has us sitting together in the scriptorium from now on. I saw that harlot Antonia passing notes to you, and I felt so bad, I wanted to come over and gouge her eyes out and stomp on her throat to muffle her screams, but I didn’t want to make your first day of work so awkward with Sister Millia, so I just closed my eyes and imagined our future together. After we’re ordained, we’ll both rise through the ranks and then in a few years one of us will be abbess and the other will be prioress, and then we’ll run the entire Order together. I know we’re both girls and we can’t easily have each others’ biological children, but I’m more than willing to adopt and raise our children together. There’s so many war orphans out there who need good parents, and I’m thinking our first two should be girls, but when we’re more experienced then maybe we can try raising a boy. Their names are going to be Himiko, Chie, and maybe Natsu although Nobu is kind of nice, too, but we’ll have a while to decide. I mean, that’s what their names will be if it’s alright with you, because after all you are the only one I want to have a family with, my darling Emiria, and screw what the Church says about nuns and priests not being able to have kids, because if they object then I have ways of putting pressure on people who threaten us, just like I’ll put pressure on any of these horrible other girls here who’d dare to come between us--”
Just as Rinko’s sanity meter had likely reached its limit, two of the gray-robed circatrices strode up to Rucilla and gently but firmly clapped their hands on her shoulders.
“Novice Sister Rucilla, you’re in need of some isolation and reflection,” one of them said, her punishment cane held at the ready. “If you are a true daughter of Saint Isamu, you will come peacefully with us.”
For a moment, something dark flashed across the girl’s visage. Nevertheless, her shoulders sagged and she slowly started to turn to accompany the circatrices. “I’ll be thinking of you,” she sighed sadly to Rinko, before being led--more like dragged--away.
“Are you okay?” Senna said, breathlessly. She was red-faced, as if she’d been running, and took a moment to wipe beads of sweat from her brow. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner! After I saw what happened to Jocasta, I figured it’d be much safer for everyone to get the circatrices involved. Thank Heaven they were so quick to respond!” She ruffled her robes to air them out, and quickly resumed her normal, cheery disposition. “I knew Rucilla had some issues--I mean, most girls who come here do--but I never imagined she’d actually act like that, and so quickly. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. She could have latched onto anyone who came on at the right time. Trust me, I know this well…” She shook her head, as if driving off a memory. “So, aside from that little issue, what do you think of it all? This has only been your first full day and it’s already been super eventful. I know we’re still in Compline, but maybe you should turn in early all the same. If you don’t want to feel alone, I’ll go up with you.” She let out a chuckle. “Kind of like a slumber party, right? It’s been a long time since I had one of those. I remember my last one--full of confessions and secrets and embarrassing stuff…”
Senna took Rinko’s hands in her own. “You know, speaking of embarrassing secrets and stuff, you can trust me, okay? I want to be your friend, more than probably any of these other girls. People like Jocasta and Antonia are only out there to use you for their own ends and then throw you away. Rucilla is basically kind of insane, though she means well enough. And the adults here have their own agendas and problems. If anyone’s come to you and tried to get you roped into some crazy or stupid scheme, you don’t have to go along with it. Just fall asleep and then wake up and go to morning prayer like nothing ever happened. They can’t do anything about it, and you’ll be free.” Senna looked down for a moment, but then met Rinko’s eyes with hers, which were filled with tears. “Promise me, okay? Promise me you’ll be good?”
Alright! We're getting down to near the climax! What will Rinko do tonight? Be good and win Monika's Senna's heart, or more shenanigans, and actually like, get closer to completing the mission? And remember, your wonderful composition will doubtless attract the ire of none other than the great Saeko, who has until now been living in blissful indolence in this wonderful resort town...
The note from Antonia was actually a relief to Rinko. If she were to believe what was written, which she had no reason not to at this point, it meant that she could check Antonia off from the 'Could be Maria' list. In fact, helping this girl out could be the big break she needed. If nothing else, Antonia could at least narrow down the list some more, check off any of the girls that she knew couldn't be Maria. Despite her low energy, Rinko's mind grew excited at the thought of being closer to her goal.
That excitement was dulled when she met Jocasta and Rucilla in the hall. Of course the yandere and the tsundere would be at each other's throats. Oddly enough, it was the appearance of two circatrices that saved Rinko's hide. The only things she was prepared to devote herself to were her family, village, and money. Rucilla didn't fit any of those, and she surely wouldn't have taken that response well. As Rucilla was dragged away, Rinko gave her an awkward wave. The yandere was oddly strong, either from adrenaline or shinobi training, so the Tanuki couldn't rule her out quite yet.
With Rucilla out of her hair for the time being, Rinko was quickly approached by Senna. The furry girl bowed her head in thanks when the kindly novice explained that it was she who had gotten the whoopin' nuns involved. Senna was seeming more and more a saint with each passing hour. At the question of what she thought of her time here so far, Rinko had to stifle a groan. Eventful was an understatement, considering the gentle girl before her was unaware of the low-key heist that went down in the fratery.
Thus, when Senna's soothing voice offered for Rinko to forget everything and sleep, the tanuki girl's willpower faltered. She's right. What can anyone do if I just ignore them? What can the village do if I just stay here? I can claim...what is it...sanctuary? Yeah, the church can keep me here where I can just eat, pray, cook, write, and sleep. Maybe I could work with Jocasta and make some money on the side to get my fix. Rinko's hand gripped Senna's as she stared her dead in the eyes. "I..." At the sight of the girl's tears, something stirred in Rinko's memory.
She recalled a time when she'd spent her father's money on an expensive leaf hairpin. Her father's face when he found out was one of the most terrifying moments of her life. But instead of beating her, or yelling, he knelt down and pat her head. 'Wealth isn't the same as money. A merchant who works hard and gets lucky can get rich, but he won't attain a reputation for wealth until he learns to spend it. Any Uchiha Shumiha can go up to an investor and flash a bit of cash. But it's the reputation the Tanuki have for making and spending money that will spark a business deal.' He ruffled her hair and pulled her ear to his mouth. His voice was gentle, but stern. 'You will be paying me back Missy. Your debt has been marked down.'
After an awkward pause, Rinko's mind returned to the present. She smiled at Senna and began pulling her to the dorm. "Let's have that slumber party." Hopefully that would distract the novice from the ignored promise. Because Rinko was a Tanuki, and living a life of mundane prayer without material gain was a life not worth living. She would spend the rest of compile with Senna, but as soon as the girl fell asleep, Rinko would drag Jocasta out of her bed to get shit done. Rinko scratched the base of her tail to make sure the lockpicks and note were there. When Jocasta opened the doors to get the liquor in, Rinko would go to the drop-off point and deliver the letter. If she couldn't find this Maria chick, at the very least she could get in good with the Shogun himself...maybe...hopefully. Shit, I really hope Antonia isn't a lying bitch.
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Rinko grumbled loudly as she adjusted the bandana on her head. It was such a pain to hide her ears and tail, but her grandpa had been clear. Dress conservatively was Tanuki for hide the fact you have demon blood. She wondered what kind of trip meant she couldn't dress however she pleased, but at the very least she could deduce that the destination would be somewhere outside of the village. Within the walls of Kumogakure, few would openly persecute her, knowing full well that if a youkai was walking amongst them with such confidence, that they must have the strength or protection of the shinobi. But out there, she was something to be feared. Her chest puffed out as she took in an exasperated breath. 
While the Mud Clone bounced around the counter and helped stir the honey, brown sugar, and butter together, Rinko racked her brain for solutions. An idea came to mind, but if she was spotted, there would be no question as to her true background and intentions. Within the shadows of the barrel, Rinko hand sealed again and a small cloud billowed out from her. In her place was a small mouse, and while the clone continued its show, Rinko scurried to the toolbox. She silently cursed herself for ditching arm day as she used every ounce of her might to lift the metal lid. Trying desperately not to make a squeak, Rinko lowered her left arm into the box and began shuffling the contents around. General tools littered the inside, along with unorganized nuts and bolts. As the last of her strength waned, Rinko's paw clasped onto a thin rod and a crinkled metal tip. It would have been easy to lift them out if not for the large metal body connected to the lock pick. 