Ninpocho Chronicles

Ninpocho Chronicles is a fantasy-ish setting storyline, set in an alternate universe World of Ninjas, where the Naruto and Boruto series take place. This means that none of the canon characters exists, or existed here.

Each ninja starts from the bottom and start their training as an Academy Student. From there they develop abilities akin to that of demigods as they grow in age and experience.

Along the way they gain new friends (or enemies), take on jobs and complete contracts and missions for their respective villages where their training and skill will be tested to their limits.

The sky is the limit as the blank page you see before you can be filled with countless of adventures with your character in the game.

This is Ninpocho Chronicles.

Current Ninpocho Chronicles Time:

The Lightning Country Saga: Act 2, Scene 2[Part A]

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Takaki Saeko

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The Lightning Country Saga: Act 2, Scene 2

It was now the end of the tenth monthly cycle of the year, and the countryside around the Cloud plains was a barren brown hue that heralded the passing of the year’s final harvest. Chancellor of the Bakufuu Tachibana Ami peered out at this drab and uninteresting scene through one of the few, small portholes on the sides of the Raiden’s Breath that actually communicated with the outside world, in an attempt to calm her growing nervousness. The war had not touched this part of the country as noticeably as it had around the major cities, probably because the Ryuu-loyal PMC forces knew that they risked incurring the outright wrath of Kumogakure should they start to plunder the lands around the mountain that hosted the village, interrupting its supplies of food and day laborers.

So far, even after the near-fatal incident at Seiryu’s Eye, the others, Takumi, Kouhei, Ryuu, had not stirred from their separate cabins. It was either a sign that they were all ready for peace, or just a temporary and deceiving lull created by the need for quiet while planning intrigue. Either way, Ami thought, all they needed to do was make it to Raiden’s Eye in one piece, along with Shiranai, and the whole conflict would be over. It seemed, thankfully, that the young mednin and former prince in hiding had now accepted that his destiny was to be Shiranai, Shogun of Kaminari no Kuni, instead of Shiranai, mednin researcher of Kumo. One thing that she would need to address with him was that as Shogun, he would need to act as a human, instead of as a shinobi, for if the nobility of the land felt that he was favoring the interests of Kumogakure over theirs, it would incite rebellion. No matter how powerful shinobi were, they could not simply crush every noble family in the land.

A slight bump shook the massive train, and jostled her slightly in the padded leather seat she occupied. With a slight thump, a thick, leatherbound packet that had previously sat on a table nearby now fell to the floor, attracting her attention. She reached for it with more concern than she ordinarily would have devoted to a loose sheaf of documents, and held it close to her. A brief message was scrawled in ink on the outside of the packet on the leather: “To my daughter, Nemoto Senna.” Ami closed her eyes, pensive.
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“Milady, the conductor signals that we are ready to begin the ascent to Kumo,” said Mizuki, now sliding aside an entry door to Ami’s stateroom and passing Sir Yui, who guarded the way. Quickly, Ami regained her composure, her face resuming the serene expression she had become famous for. “He estimates another fifteen minutes until we reach the Dragon Tooth Pass.”
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“Thank you, Lord Mizuki,” she replied, tucking the packet of letters for a girl she had never met or heard of before carefully into a pocket on the obi of her kimono. “I trust you have asked the Marshal General, the Grand Admiral, and Daimyo Ryuu to refrain from entering Kumo once we have stopped?”

“Of course, Milady,” said Mizuki. “It was not easy to convince Lord Ryuu, however. We will need to be brief in our meeting with Crown Prince Shiranai,” he said, shaking his head. At that moment, the train now seemed to tilt backward as the angle of the tracks changed, signaling their ascent.

The ancient tracks, pockmarked by the elements and rendered dark red by a thin patina of rust, cut a winding path upwards on the lonely mountain on which Kumogakure was now situated. Once, in a past era long removed from the memory of mankind by the cataclysm that forever scarred the earth and her people, these tracks had been the means by which the Kalmah Mining Company would have ferried its precious ores from deep excavation sites within the mount to its warehouses in the foothills and back, and from the foothills to the countryside to feed the industrial needs of a nation whose name had now been forgotten, for Lightning Country had risen in its place from the ash-heap left behind by the world’s holocaust.

Finally, the train now came to a stop only a few dozen feet from the weathered, metal-reinforced gates of Kumogakure. In truth, a section of track could have actually taken the entire train into the center of the village itself, for it led directly through the opening in the otherwise uninterrupted stone, but such an entry would have been considered bad form and would have meant the demolition of the many buildings, both permanent and temporary, that had sprung up alongside and in some cases, directly on top of the ancient track network underfoot in the village.

“We’re here, Milady. The Vice Commander of their ANBU, Takaki-san, said that he would meet us inside the gates, along with Crown Prince Shiranai, and the Sennin of their Medical Branch, Isaki-san. The Raikage, I have heard, is conducting other business and sends his regrets that he cannot be present to meet us,” said Mizuki, rising and offering his hand to Ami to assist her to her feet. At the mention of Shin, she had to suppress a blush. Stupid sexy Hayata Shin... She had essentially confessed to him, and what did the clueless oaf do? Carry on about his body double, that Deta organism or whatever the hell it was.

“Very well, let’s end this war,” she said, shaking her head. The air now carried a similar frost to that of Sekai Yuki’s, save for Kumo’s was thinner by virtue of its elevation. Perhaps that was the secret of shinobi ability – training in an oxygen-deprived environment crafted stronger bodies in general. As had been arranged, when the watchtower shinobi had observed the Raiden’s Breath approaching, they signaled that the gates should be swung open ten degrees each, sending their ancient steam-powered hydraulics to work. Each door required a massive amount of force to move, and it was extremely rare that the gates were opened completely. Doing so would take at least an hour to accomplish, and would expose the village to too much risk. Ten degrees each way was enough to let three people side by side in at once – a polite allowance typically only given to important guests and their entourages.

As Ami, Mizuki, and Yui now approached, the Gate Guard of the Main Branch stood at ceremonial attention at the parapets on top of the walls, with two shinobi, chuunin by the looks of them, on each side of the opened passageway.
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“Madam Chancellor, welcome back to our village,” said Masao, bowing politely to her.

“Thank you all,” said Ami, returning the bow.
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Shiranai watched the procession from behind Masao, next to Isaki Kushin, the Medical Sennin, and his former boss. Kushin was here out of amusement more than anything else, it seemed. The two were friendly, and Kushin had helped Shiranai in his early years so he was grateful to have the older shinobi nearby. It was an unusual feeling for Shiranai though, this feeling of nervousness. His path had changed once more, oddly like the train he'd been derailed and now he would be stepping back on the original tracks which had been his hereditary right.

“My Lord Crown Prince, are you prepared?” asked Ami, fixing her gaze on him.

"Y-Yes." he stumbled quietly, though he knew that those around him now would know this to be quite out of character. Yet this was an unknown step just when he'd managed to find some form of comfort here. A hand rested on his shoulder and Kushin simply gave him a nod. The man never smiled, so this was about as close as it came. Shiranai let a small smile appear and then disappear just as quickly. The hand fell from the shoulder and Kushin stepped back, or did he step forward, it was all getting to him.

Clearing his throat he repeated himself, this time with the assertiveness that everyone would recognize as Shiranai's own. "I'm ready."

Kushin looked at Masao and Ami. They were taking one of the more skilled and higher potential medical shinobi he had working for him. Yet they had also delivered him knowledge which he would prize. Shiranai whether he knew it now or not would receive Kushin's protection, for he knew that the boy felt a kinship with him, and thus through the boy his family would gain wealth and strength greater than ever before. His eyes betrayed nothing of his thoughts, he was there as a Sennin, as a friend, and simply for the whole look of the ceremony.

"My Lord, I will escort you to the Raiden's Breath," now said Mizuki, bowing deeply to Shiranai, his arms flowing as they gestured for the shinobi to follow him. Ami now turned to Masao and Kushin.

"Takaki-san, I assume the shinobi security team we contracted for is en route? As well as our moderator from Chishio Tankyuu" she asked.

"Yes, Madam Chancellor. They are arriving as we speak," he responded with a smile, although in the back of his mind, he cursed the village administrators for delaying payment processing for the team, which was why they were not immediately present.

"Thank you, Takaki-san. I also have one more request for you, and possibly Isaki-san as well. I was recently given a packet of letters by a Tenouzan Commander named Nemoto Aran. They are for his daughter, who I am told is a genin-ranked shinobi of this village. Her name is Nemoto Senna. Would either of you gentlemen be so kind as to summon her if she is indisposed?"

"Of course, Madam Chancellor," said Masao, shrugging. "I will have our operatives deliver the letters to her address..." he started, extending a hand to take the packet.

"I apologize, Takaki-san. I trust you and your men, however, I wished to deliver this packet personally if at all possible. It is what I promised to Commander Nemoto," said Ami with a hint of abruptness that surprised even her.

"As you wish," said Masao, shrugging. A look passed from him to Kushin. What the fuck is so special about Nemoto Senna? The mednin sennin seemed to shrug back: I don't know, but she sounds very dissectable.

"Operatives prepare to receive orders. Rapid Deployment Force, Sword of Damocles, you are to locate and bring summons to genin-rank Nemoto Senna, main branch," he spoke into his headset, politely turning somewhat away from the two others. "We'll see if she can come here," he said.
I'd like to give credit to Kushin/Gaidoku for co-writing this post with me. Also, this is technically the first post of an actual mission, however I have been notified by Admin that as of right now, were we all to begin the mission in earnest, none of the participants would be eligible for payment either on completion or at a later date, so I am deferring the start of this mission and simply opening this to RP for now for the mission participants and Senna (who can also participate). I also realize I have not posted up a mission signup sheet yet - that is forthcoming. When admin finalizes the details of mission payment, we will get started with the mission part and finalize the signups.
 

Akemi

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Residential District (Senna's Apartment)

'Est consistere?*... Hm...'

Senna stared intently at the experimental 'wind-bolter' pistol which was laying on the table in front of her. The first test had... less than desirable results (excessive recoil + light body frame + unexpected shock = bloody nose... and a nearly fractured skull), so the little inventor had taken the weapon apart and put it back together several dozen times in an attempt to troubleshoot. So far, she appeared to be making some progress. Now, it was time for just one. More. Test. She grabbed the bolter off the table, held it in front of her in a firing position, and pulled the trigger.

*fwoof*

Well, the recoil problem appeared to be fixed. Either that, or it had caused the bolter to crash into Senna's skull, killing her and sending her to some sort of weird scientist heaven (but let's not explore that possibility).

Senna took the bolter and holstered it on her left lef, the lab coat she was wearing quickly pulled over the holster, concealing it somewhat. Now she just had to take it to a target range and test i-

*knock, knock*

'Qui id est?*' Senna walked over to the apartment door with a little more haste than she had initially planned. When she opened the door, a tall (well, when you're four-foot-nothing everyone and everything is tall) ANBU operative was standing outside.

"Nemoto-san?"

"Yes, yes, that's me... what is it?"

"Takaki-sama asked for you. He's at the gate. Follow me, if you will."

Well, that threw a wrench in her plans. Senna didn't mind, though, she could afford to wait.


Dragon Tooth Pass
Some time later...

Senna and her ANBU escort arrived at the gates, Senna still wearing the sweater/slacks/lab coat ensemble she had been wearing during her 'testing' (she didn't really take any time to change). She took a quick look at the gates and the group of shinobi and politicians present, it felt more than a bit odd to be in their company, but Senna kept her cool regardless. She took a few steps towards Masao.

"I'm here. What do you need?" her tone was it's usual, enthusiastic melody that most people close to her had gotten quite used to. She seemed more than willing to be here, quite happy with the circumstance, really.

Well... to be completely honest, part of her couldn't wait to get back to her tinkering, but that part of her was taking a back seat to her friendly persona for the moment.



[spoilername="OOC"]Sorry for the hold up. =|

*
Est consistere? = Is it fixed?
Qui id est? = Who's that?

Note: Based on Auto-translate and a little bit of common sense, I'm not going to delude myself into thinking it's perfect. I just wanted to throw something random in there, so shoot me. ;P[/spoilername]
 

Oishi Shichimenchou

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I am the 37th Hereditary Countess Bakunin. I am a minor noble of Lightning Country. If you were to search for me in the order of succession for the title of Shogun I would be approximately 3,864th in line; just behind the Count of Blueberry Province and ahead of the Count of Jellybean Province. In order words, I may be of noble blood, but I may as well be a commoner when compared to the royal family.

I had awaken early in the day and made my way towards the gates. I had been informed that I had a job to do there, but had not been told by my superiors just what exactly that was. I suspected an ANBU had called in sick and they needed someone to help alleviate all the paperwork needed to be done. Importing lemons alone took five pages to be filled out, so there was always work to be done at the gates for a paper pusher like myself.

When I arrived at the gates I found something most curious. They were open beyond their usual measurement. Usually it was only big enough for one or two persons to pass by. What was the occasion? Or was it merely that an extremely fat person was passing through? I had heard the Raikage had gained some weight, but I didn't think he had gained this much weight. Or was it one of the Sennin? I hope very much for the sake of our nation that it isn't the case that the Raikage and the Sennin have gotten so large that the gates had to be that widely for them.

I waited a few yards behind the gate and looked around for an ANBU. Hopefully one of them would be able to tell me what was happening.

I was wearing my usual garbs. A blue dress, cape, gloves, and the rest of a noblewoman's furnishings.
 

Suzuki Setsu

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Tama sighed as the alarm clock rang its blasted self off her dresser across her desk and landed on the bed right next to her groggy irritable morning face. She hated waking up early. Taped to the clock was her official notice for mission duty, she was due at the Tower, 0630 sharp. Who the hell uses military time, anyways? she thought to herself. The scary medical sennin didn't seem the type to care, she didn't think that her branch's boss would, that would leave the ANBU branch. But the order was signed by a Takaki Masao, who wasn't the sennin. Maybe he was the one, not that it mattered. She glanced at the clock, it was nearing 10:00 AM. She had deliberately hit the snooze button multiple times and moved the clock as far away from her as possible so she would not hear the damn thing go off. Although it seemed someone was moving it closer to her when it rang. Someone invisible. Stupid siblings, a star needs her sleep! Why the hell am I being requested to show up so early? It's not like we're getting paid or something. But she was awake now, though still pissed. The mission part of the shinobi gig, was the one that Tama hated the most. She liked learning the cool new abilities, being able to summon wind, hit pressure points with pinpoint accuracy, and practice her acrobatic skills on the neat architecture. But the duties and responsibilities of the shinobi life was just something she had to do just like everybody else, and the worst part was they can kill you if you shirk your duties. And Tama was the kind of person who liked being a living, breathing human being.

So she groggily and grumpily dragged her body out of her warm, comfortable bed and began to get dressed. She decided on the blindingly yellow version of her usual outfit with red accents, complete with its own panda hood. And with that she leapt out of her tent in the caravan compound and began racing towards the gates of Cloud. Along the way she snagged some hapless passerby's breakfast, french toast and sunny-side up eggs, which she scarfed down greedily. The poor passerby stared glumy at his now empty plate with sad hazel eyes, his white hair seeming to droop with the thought of having to buy another breakfast. Another poor sap was relieved of his glass of orange juice, and another found himself in possession of the empty glass. By now Tama was wide-awake, and happily munching on a very delicious breakfast. Tama was feeling better about the day, and hoping this was a mission where she would stand out the most and be praised and adored by all.

That feeling died as she approached the gates. All the pomp and circumstance given to someone she had never heard of, another shinobi she didn't know. Yipes, that creepy medical sennin was there, too. Maybe standing out in bright yellow was a bad idea after all. The last thing she needed was to be shown to be afraid of a medical professional in front of all these important people. How humiliating that would be, at least he had consented to healing her legs when she had injured them. And technically she still owed him some form of repayment for disrespecting him in the middle of the Susukino District. She just hoped he wouldn't bring that little bit up now. The man with the crossbow sidearm must be the ANBU Vice-Commander, she had heard about the bar-fight he had apparently started, and the story of the tragic demise of one of his sidearm bolters was circulated amongst the patrons of that particular bar, some of which happened to be Tama's family members. Tama couldn't help but snicker quietly as she thought of the important figure in front of her drunkenly brawling in a public tavern. She wish she could have seen that firsthand. She shut up quickly though, being around this many dignitaries, there was a very high chance she could get herself executed any number of ways if she pissed the wrong person off. She didn't recognize many of the other individuals there, so Tama simply regarded them as audience members, there to watch her performance as a Cloud shinobi. Extremely fancy-looking, dignified, important, and powerful audience members. Tama hated being outshined, but she wasn't so obsessed with it that she would attempt to outshine the rulers of the land, at least she wouldn't attempt it yet.

Still she stood, ready to do her duty, or whatever else this assignment asked of her, it looked to be a boring one as of now, hardly worth the time of a star such as herself. She looked around at the other Cloud shinobi present. The first was an overly happy girl and the second was a quiet bookish girl. The second girl reminded Tama of Tomo however. And she didn't know how that made her feel exactly. But the three of them had one thing in common, none of them knew what the heck was going on, and it didn't seem like anyone was going out of their way to fill them in either. I understand we're on a "need-to-know" basis, but this is ridiculous, she thought. Overly happy girl, who radiated an aura of squishiness that rivaled that of marshmallow strewn goose-down pillows (freshly fluffed), had asked bolter man a question and she wasn't being answered. Tama was also curious as to their purpose here, but lacked the patience and tact to inquire politely. Whereas squishy had only taken a few steps toward the Vice-Commander, Tama walked right up to the man, and asked, "Hey, Mr. Barfight, maybe you could explain to the rest of us too. Why are we here, what are we doing, you know. It'd be nice to kind of know what is going on after all." Tama was heedless of the fact that any number of people there could have offed her in an instant.

Tama was most likely not making very many friends this day.
 

Takaki Saeko

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Nemoto Senna seemed positively miniscule in comparison to her escorts. She was, after all, only barely a young woman, and afflicted by a mysterious wasting illness that would likely steal from her even the changes of puberty that are every teenager’s right to endure, even as it sapped her life. Her escorts, by comparison, were trained killers standing nearly seven foot tall with muscle-bound forearms the size of most men’s thighs. And yet the girl seemed to shine brighter for the darkness of her fate, as if her life force voraciously fought the cruel flames of destiny, taunting them to burn more intensely until they vanished.

“Genin Nemoto,” said Masao, nodding to her. “I’m not sure if you missed a letter earlier, but you have been contracted to be part of a security escort, so really, you’re reporting for duty. Although Main Branch Sennin Fujinami is probably at your house rifling through your underwear drawer right now under guise of rounding you up, the reason I sent my men to bring you before he could was because one of our clients wants to have a word with you personally,” he said, motioning to Ami. “This is Bakufuu Chancellor Tachibana Ami. She is the current head of state of Lightning Country at this time, as there is no Shogun who would otherwise assume this role. It is also she who has hired your services as well as those of your compatriots, who I see arriving on scene right now. Madam Chancellor…”

Ami now stepped forward, and to everyone’s surprise, knelt in front of the girl, bringing her eyes level to Senna’s.

“Hello, Nemoto-chan. I know you must think it weird that some old lady you’ve never met is so eager to talk to you, so please, forgive me,” she said, clasping Senna’s hands in her own for a second before drawing Commander Aran’s packet of letters from her obi. “I met your father in Tenouza, Commander Nemoto Aran. He was very kind to my staff and me, and he was worried sick about you and wanted you to have these. I promised him I’d give them to you personally,” she said, smiling softly as she gave them to the girl. “I did not realize until now that you were to accompany and guard us. I admit that my first instinct on hearing Commander Takaki’s words was to protest your potential endangerment, but I know that would only be an unjust attack on your pride as a kunoichi. So please, only promise me, your employer, that you will be careful.”

She rose now, and gave a small bow to Senna, as Masao and Kushin looked at each other with only more confusion.

“Ah, here’s the negotiator you wished for. As promised, she is thirty-seventh generation landed nobility and well-versed in diplomacy. She is also the Fire Marshal of Kumogakure, which will be useful if a fire happens to break out. Marshal, ” said Masao now, motioning to Bakunin to come forward.

“Actually, Commander, I am already acquainted with her,” said Ami with a welcoming smile. “Countess Oishi, you have my gratitude for accompanying us. Also, you look positively fetching! I will have the Viscount Mizuki – you might remember him from the last Lily Soiree, and he certainly remembers you - give you a full situational briefing as soon as possible.” She now addressed Masao, privately. “Fire Marshal?! She’s afraid of fire…”

The Vice Commander could only shrug in response, and was quickly distracted by the sight of a garish yellow and red-accented outfit topped with a panda’s decapitated head draped over a girl’s face.

“Ah, and here is another member of the security team... I do apologize, their supervisor is late… “

"Hey, Mr. Barfight, maybe you could explain to the rest of us too. Why are we here, what are we doing, you know. It'd be nice to kind of know what is going on after all."

Previously when genin had mouthed off in the presence of the government of Lightning Country, it had been Kushin facepalming. Now it was Masao’s turn. Fighting back a wave of nausea, he massaged the area above his eyebrows for a few seconds before regaining his focus.

“That’s Vice Commander Takaki to you, kid,” he purred dangerously. “Your supervising chuunin will have a full mission brief for you as well as Nemoto, when he arrives. I’m sure there’s a good reason he’s running behind. In any case, Mochizuki, this is your employer and Liege Lord Chancellor Tachibana Ami. She is being extremely and unnecessarily kind in meeting the members of the team personally, so I’d suggest you kowtow or something,” he said, shaking his head.

“That won’t be necessary, Vice Commander,” said Ami, chuckling. “I remember your family’s performance last year at the Imperial Diet, Mochizuki-chan. It was quite amazing to behold. Perhaps when this war is over, your clan could be so kind as to perform again for us?” she asked.

In the meantime, Masao not checked the list of shinobi assigned to this mission. Now, they were only missing one – the other chuunin who was actually supposed to supervise the two genin. Why the hell was he or she running so late? And who was it, anyway? He quickly scanned the names...
Sweet. I'll start writing a mission post in the outer village area and have it up by tomorrow! Good job, guys! When Horo posts, I'll have a response for him as well. For now, you can post your exits from this topic and get on the train.
 

Horo Danshi

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Horo Danshi had been asleep, or damn close to it, when the other two shinobi entered the restroom and in loud tones, unmistakable as to their content, began to loudly sweat the fact that they were both very, very dead men.

”There is nothing else for it. He is going to kill us.”

”Stop, don’t say that. He might be reasonable. He’s a ranking officer, for Raiden’s sake, the Sennin, he’s got to at least-“

”Both of these ranking officers, rot their nutsacks, are still in the middle of investigations over almost killing each other in a bar fight! This mission comes straight from the top, and if the Main branch doesn’t deliver, then you can guess who will be the ones to answer for it!” There was the sound of a sniff, a stifling, a sob. And then, that was lower and more quaversome than before:“We are so, so dead.”

Horo, who as a matter of course preferred to be horizontal when surprised, had immediately bolted forward from his place on the toilet seat. He’d been engaging in his daily ritual of recuperation, excusing himself from the Genin whose homeroom he oversaw in order to attend to “urgent business” at the Sileo. Out of sight, he made his way to the mostly-unused third-dormitory building, with its almost-completely unused lavatory, and typically, zonked out against the cruddy stall walls for half an hour or better while the world rolled by without. Never caught. Definitely never suspected by the kids. So unbelievable that they fell for the same excuse every day. SO WEIRD!

But there he was , almost gone to the world, when the two strangers had made their sudden entrance. And now here was poor Horo Danshi, horizontally situated in the stall (generously sized buggers, Kumo saw to all of its’ shinobi’s needs suuuuure), the chakra seals between his boots and the toilet rim maintaining the firm suction of panic and practiced chakra control as the dialog without continued.

The thought that they would catch him, a chuunin, pooping in the bathroom was simply unthinkable. Hold it together Horo old buddy gotta hoooold it together nah just like in Smoking Crater ya held it together when the puddleheads almost did that thing they do and HURRR- The blue-eyed chuunin almost lost it at that particular memory, almost sent his half-digested lunch spewing all over the floor at the image that evoked, but the Fear of Being Caught And Presumed Defecating held him back. The shinobi’s willpower held, even as he slipped the slightest bit lower down the rim of the toilet.

”Had to be in our group,” the whimpering shinobi sobbed. ”Had to be in our. Damned. Group…”

”You can’t control the attacks, man. They hit us all at some point. They come, they go. And then you’re fine-“

”But not THIS TIME,”the weeping man hissed. ”Not when you’re on a mission ordered by the that som’bitch Takaki himself! Souseki hears that Hiro is too sick to go on the mission, he’s gonna look to us, his cell. I can’t do it, man! I need to feed my family! My kids! Screw the Lightning Country, screw the Daimyo and the Shogun and their Raiden-damned luxury train.

The Dipshit Kid’s face wrinkled as the image of these circumstances came together in his mind. He’d always had a thing for trains. Choo choo. Why, one time…

As his feet slipped still further millimeters on the toilet bowl, the sound of rising voices retrieved Horo Danshi once again out of his reverie. “…this economy – who can afford to leave on a mission! Neither of us! You know he’s just looking for an excuse to cut the pension plans of anyone who even toes over that rubric of his. Either way, we’re done for. That’s it. Game over, man.”

A silence fell over the restroom. After a moment, the boredom had become excruciating, and it was all that Danshi could do not to simply open his mouth and shout just to fill the air, JEEZ.

But then:

”…you’re right. But there is one way.”

”One way for what?”

”For our families to see our pensions.”


Another scream-inducing moment of totally boring coming-to-understanding, the Dipshit Kid’s vocal chords threatening to just blow his cover entirely, all shame forgotten. But then, once more, the save:

”…you mean?”

”Yes.”

”Clause 87.2B.”

Then both together: ”Incidental mortal hazard pay.” And there it was, the finale, the settling of the idea. The conclusion. Except, not entirely.

”So I murder, you suicide, right?”

”What? Oh, hell no. Other way. I murder, you suicide. It’s only fair.”

As the shinobi left to plot their heartbreaking pact, the Dipshit Kid slowly peeked his head out from the bathroom stall where he had remained hidden throughout the entirety of the conversation. He wondered what they were talking about. Right damn shame about those boys, fair good boys I’m sure they were, he thought as the door closed behind them and their wails of total helplessness and despair began to flutter, echoing, down the hallways of the Eruditio. He snapped a quick right-hand salute at the door, still mostly horizontal, the side of the toilet screeching horribly in protest as the chakra seals keeping him rooted there slowly gave way under his faltering concentration. Farewell, sweet peaches of boyhood! May your next life hold greater succor than this, this cold place with its chilly tiles, oh this Horo Horo lavatory…”

There was a final slip and crash as the Dipshit Kid lost himself in the reverie of considering the last moments of these two lovers, and in another universe, his face-plant onto the linoleum was so violent that it sent his nose slurping up wholesale into his brain, killing him instantly. But this was the Horo Horo Show, by Raiden. And so instead of a brain full of bone fragments, the sudden impact against the floor bestowed upon the Dipshit Kid one of those things, so rare for him, that he simply had to stop and pay attention.

For dear readers, Horo Danshi had an idea.

****​

At the Dragon Tooth Pass, a lone figure approached the crowd that had gathered at the massive gates. He wore the storm blues and grays of the Kumogakure Main Branch, as well as the slightly off-purple vest that was the common wear of Chuunin village-wide, that sine qua non of middle-professional fashion. Mussed hair, dark and greasy, slightly longer than regulation-mandated and framing a sallow, unsubtle brick of a face that was three-or-better days without a shave.

And…sunglasses. Only…sunglasses.

The shinobi sauntered up to the assembled throng and, spotting the man who was no doubt in charge of the whole circus, marched up to him in something approaching (not really) practiced, martial fashion. He swung a salute.

”Horo Da…uh – Hiro. CHUUNIN. HIRO. Reporting for duty, Masao-taichouuuuuuuuu!~” the man exclaimed, in a voice that was at one deeper, and yet more tremulous, than the one that might be expected coming from such a frame.

Aww yiss expertly done Horo, perfect perfect, deceived like the ninja you are show em how it’s done.

Soon it would be mission time: out of the village. Into the country at large. Out from under whatever Sennin or Kage or hell-spitting daemon was currently working towards remembering that Oh, yes, this man has inconvenienced me in some way. In short: the perfect plan.

Thinking about it, the only thing that Horo Danshi could do was grin. Widely.
 

Takaki Saeko

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”Horo Da…uh – Hiro. CHUUNIN. HIRO. Reporting for duty, Masao-taichouuuuuuuuu!~”

Perhaps it was some Seikon time-magery or whatnot, but the chuunin’s sudden entry and baritone delivery caused Masao to look up the millisecond before his eyes would have registered the entry reading “Horo Danshi” on the personnel list, to which his response might have been to draw that Gateru M1911A3 from its shoulder holster and give the newcomer eight new clown caliber sized holes in the face and upper torso. No, because this was really Danshi’s world (here comes a special boy), Masao now shoved the piece of paper back into his breast pocket and regarded the new arrival.

“Chuunin, your subordinates have already arrived. I trust you’ve gotten the mission briefing and are ready to instruct your genin,” said Masao, trying to peer past the pair of aviators on this Hiro’s face and get a sense of what the man’s actual face looked like. Then again, it was an unspoken code among men to not fuck with the sunglasses, so he could only try to pretend he had X-ray vision (which he did not).

“Chancellor, this is…Hiro, chuunin of the Main,” said Masao with unsubtle distaste.

“Salutations, Hiro-san. I trust you to keep your subordinates, as well as the rest of us safe. Because if you let Nemoto Senna come to harm, I’ll send the Royal Marines up your ass,” said Ami, smiling sweetly at Hiro before turning to board the train. Masao stood, teeth clenched, before taking Hiro aside.

“Shave that damned blotchy face of yours, brush your yellow teeth, wash that stinking hair, and cease that idiotic grin. I can’t believe I’m doing Souseiki’s godrotting job for him by having to tell you this. Now go," he growled.

A few minutes later, as the train started to chug slowly back down the mountain and towards the capitol, Masao sighed as he reached into his pocket again. Just who the hell had that chuunin been, anyway? Downright unprofessional. How did the Main Branch let such slobs get to that level, anyway? Then again, this was the same branch that had let Nara Ryuujin lead them once. Come to think of it, the chuunin had only given what he presumed was a family name... He now scanned the list again.

"Horo...Danshi."

Just kill me now.
Mission Continues here: http://www.ninpocho.com/viewtopic.php?f=320&t=1531
 

Oishi Shichimenchou

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Water began to fall from my back as I was confronted by the Chancellor. The Chancellor! If I knew her royal highness would be here I would have dressed better and done my hair. For a nobleman to appear in such poor clothing before her sovereign - I am glad that my grandmother is already dead or she would die again from such dishonor! No wait, that came out wrong. I most certainly am not happy that my grandmother is already dead. She was a saintly woman who should have lived another four months to see the end of House M.D. before departing to Raiden's planet.

Raiden smiled on me and my excursion with the Chancellor was brief. She greeted me and I was informed (indirectly) of my goal in this mission. I was to meet with the Viscount and act as a diplomat; the details of the mission would be told to me later in privacy. Wait- Mission? This was a mission? I thought I had been called out to act as a bureaucrat. I had not expected this was a mission. Could it be that after avoiding them for so long the Sennin had decided to force me to go on one? The water falling from my back was replaced by a cold chill. I hoped that there would be no violence involved in this.

I flashed a smile toward the panda-hooded girl in our company before getting on the train and the next leg of this journey. Hopefully the panda had some idea had some idea what dangers awaited us next. I certainly did not!

[Topic Left to 2nd topic]
 

Suzuki Setsu

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"That's Vice Commander Takaki to you, kid," he purred dangeously.

"Yessir, Vice Commander Barfight, sir," she replied rolling her eyes and giving a mock salute. Before the man could have time to react to the snippity comments of the brash genin, she darted away to the side of the Chancellor.
"That won't be necessary, Vice Commander," said Ami chuckling. "I remember your family's performance last year at the Imperial Diet, Mochizuki-chan. It was quite amazing to behold. Perhaps when this war is over, your clan could be so kind as to perform again for us?" she asked.

Finally, someone who understood her greatness, albiet not hers directly, but a compliment to her family was a compliment to Mochizuki Tama. In reality, this might have simply been the work of a woman well-versed in dealing with difficult personalities, but Tama was young and naive enough to be taken in quite easily if this was so. Her chest swelled with pride at the remark, "Of course, and it would be an honor to perform for you again. And the next show will be even more spectacular than the last, I guarantee it, she said smiling brightly. Because I'll be in it after all, she thought to herself. She remembered her mother telling her about the show at the Imperial Diet. Tama was in the Academy and not able to go, she had never been more upset than that time. But apparently, her father had spent a good portion of the performance narrowly dodging the flaming and freezing projectiles her mother had been throwing at him. This was because her father had been a little too flirtatious towards some of the female attendees.

Their supervising officer finally showed up, seeming a little less than sober, or less than sane. Tama couldn't decide which. And with a quick smile towards the other girl shinobi, and sticking her tongue out at the ANBU Vice Commander, she scampered onto the train.

[Topic Left to the other Topic]
 
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