Well, okay then. I hadn’t expected to be stood up so brazenly, but I could deal. I’ve had to do this kind of stuff with Kiri. I was not only going to have to learn on my own, but also be the one to perform the operation as there were no other doctors available to do the deed in the foreseeable future from what I knew. Whatever I figured. If I had to be the one to do it, so be it. I rubbed my chin in my inner turmoil despite my resolve. I groaned and clenched up in rage before letting it out in a hammer blow into the table I was at. It easily split in half as the scroll I was using tumbled down, no worse for wear. Though, if I was being honest at the moment I didn’t really give a shit.
I calmed thyself a few minutes later before getting to work on reading the damned scroll. I was huffing and puffing while I read the first couple pages. It was a beefy scroll and talked a lot in hyperbole, I got the fact it was dangerous more than enough times at this point from more than enough talking heads. I only really started to relax once I got a grasp on the concept it was describing it to me. I found my interest in this rather involved kinjutsu and I got myself hyped up from what I read.
An hour ticked by, then another and the next before I started to feel I my back screaming at me for sitting on the ground next to the crumbled wooden desk for so long. I stretched my neck out at that point and decided to head back home, done with the damn hospital and its flaky director for the day. I was still pissed, but what could I do? Complaining as a small fry would be retarded, and I already had a basic understanding of how I could proceed and get this shit show started.
I was somewhat apprehensive at the part where I needed to removed a good chunk of my soul and shove it into my spear, I noted as soon as I got over that part. I had been told in the past by others, that attacks that could damage your very being could hurt a million times worse than any physical pain you could experience. You only feel terrible for a couple moments until the adrenaline and eventual death claims you when you get cut in half. But, unlike a normal fatal wound, you don’t die quickly with a wounded spirit. No, you die a very long and painful life if you sustained too much damage, the pain lingered until your death. That little tidbit had caused plenty to go mad in their despair, but most simply killed themselves to escape the pain.
I really didn’t want to be added to the metric for suicide rates, so I had best be careful if I wanted to succeed. I was on my own and any faults were going to be on me. It was because I could imagine such a fate all too well, that it scared me shitless enough to hesitate in doing this. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to live through the equivalent of splitting myself in half incorrectly, let alone the way that was prescribed to me. I shuddered at that, not going to lie. The scroll had said it was insanely painful, but unlike a brute force cut, it was more of a ‘draining’ procedure. It’ll shirk my soul and create another ‘blank’ copy that was tainted with enough of my aura to bind it to myself. I’d be in it for the long haul with my most prized possession at that point. Anyway, I was almost home and I needed to get some food in me along with a bath before I got rolling.
Once I was finally home I went about preparing myself with food, a nice bath, a smoke to calm my nerves with some brandy I swiped off a local bar. I didn’t want to be drunk for this, but a light buzz was more than welcome to calm me down. My house was an old place a contact of mine had inherited and quickly sold off to me once I offered a lowball price. I figured he was desperate, but not enough to take my lowball offer. He must have been sitting on it for too long. Either way, it was in quite the disrepair when I had gotten it off his hands. It had been a long process over the last couple months, but nowadays it looked lived in. I wasn’t the neatest person, but I kept the trash down and clean enough to not attractants and the likes, so no one could complain. I decided on my walk back here, that my house was probably my ideal place to undertake this operation. The reason I had bought this place originally had been for the indoors smithery that occupied the basement, anyway. It had been in working order years ago as a well-off weapon shop before the owner grew too old and had no one to inherit the forge. How my contact got his hands on it, I didn't know, though neither did I care. It was mine now and I was happy with that. Besides, I mostly brought it back up to stuff, along with adding a few additions of my own. It was coming well into its own, well enough and it definitely screamed ‘Eishi’ to my greater delight. I had a number of armaments lying in piles all over the place as I went down the stairs to my workshop. Most were practice pieces that I had done in my spare time, but some were real personal treasures. I had found early on that while I could use my magnetic and metal affinity to bend the pieces into place. It was energy inefficient and frankly, too easy. It just didn’t feel as satisfying unless I did the actual general shaping by hand. The finer parts like folding and especially smelting I didn’t fuck with doing the normal way. Those part were just beyond tedious and the results by hand would never be comparable to what I could do just using chakra, so I didn’t bother.
I felt as ready as I’d ever be sitting in the center of my shop. A mat was under my butt as I sat and listened to my trusty music player as it spewing out some decent bangers from my personal collection. I continued my read the scroll for the next couple hours, the goal at this point was read up the last bit, get a plan drafted and get this done in quick order. I debated if I wanted to rest and do it tomorrow morning, recalling that I wanted to go out tomorrow morning to try out a new place that apparently made some solid pancakes and eggs. I especially didn’t want to miss out on their sister location's opening week. I had heard it was going to be half off and I wanted to take advantages of that if I could. I was going to be only so prepared, anyway. I knew if I held this off, I’d likely hesitate and blow it off for a couple weeks, making up excuses for myself until I got pissed off enough at myself to do it anyway. I really wasn’t a fan of pain despite my pleasure in inflicting it on others and I was already struggling to try and mentally prepare myself for what was about to come.
I sighed in yet another display of resignation as I took out my spear and placed it next to mat in front of me. I cast [Magnetize] on it, willing it to begin hovering in place and began reading the scroll once more. I jotting down the important bits to a clean sheet in my notes and compared it to the data I had gotten in the lab. I began drawing up a solid plan of attack. From there, it became easy enough to see where I was heading. I could only hope my confidence wasn’t misplaced and I was overestimating myself. I took a deep breath in for a final time, beginning the brutal first step of channeling a shit ton of chakra into a focus to prep for the soul transfer. Some chose to use their whole weapon, but that was mostly for a bladed weapon. That, however, was utterly inefficient for a spear with a long shaft like mine. Because of that, I decided on channeling it solely into the head of the spear instead. It was best to allow the shaft to stay as ‘nearly indestructible’ while making sure the head would never dull I figured. It was both easier to contain and the logical choice in the end.
It was a quick and rapidly expanding pain right through the center of ‘me’, starting well before I could ever get ready for the pain I was currently feeling. My core was undergoing the first brutal step in this horrible experience and I was certainly losing the battle of will. This was both the simplest, yet largest hurdle to overcome from what I had gathered. The pain was excruciating, but at least it was concentrated, thank god. I don’t know how others managed to do this, it was so painful it legitimately blinded me a couple times in the process. The rest of the time my sight was going white in spots and I could hardly keep myself breathing. I could literally feel my head split in half after a time like someone was grabbing hold of my left and right hemisphere and pulling outwards. The worst part, however, was despite the insurmountable pain, I simply couldn’t lose consciousness. Oh I wished right then and there for sweet release, but it just kept going. This was either going to kill me or cripple me even further at the minimum.
After what felt like hours, I was covered in cold sweat and my mouth was dry enough that I was sure I had somehow drunk a desert between my bouts in and out of consciousness. I needed something to drink and yet I wasn’t done in the slightest. I could literally feel a giant fucking hole in my mind and it was beyond disconcerting. I was once more at a loss for words at being able to describe it in words. It felts wrong on so many levels, but what made me downright nauseous was the fact that I could literally feel my being trapped inside my own spear, unable to either will it to move or react at all for that matter. I couldn’t explain it even if I tried, I just instinctively knew I was ‘there’ whenever I glanced at my spear sitting next to me, seemingly inert. I leaned back and flopped onto my back. At that point, I was too tired to move onto the next step even if I wanted to. I needed to awaken the consciousness inside the spear, but that would have to wait a few weeks. I had been planning this situation for months and I wasn’t about to blow it early because I was excited at living.
I fell asleep pretty quickly after all that stress of the night. I was right in the middle of my forge safe and sound, the ambient heat had been enough to keep me warm as I slept for nearly an entire twenty-four hours. By the time I finally did get myself up, I was seriously confused for a couple moment looking at my clock thinking I had somehow only slept for little over ten minutes. It wasn’t until I saw that date that I got a true idea of how drained I actually was. I still felt like I hadn’t slept in days and I also couldn’t help but notice my dulled emotional range. I was troubled enough by this shit, but now I could tell something hadn’t gone right. I could tell I had likely induced psychosis from what I knew of the disorder and I wasn’t even scared of the change, which should have scared me even more, but it seemingly didn’t.
I simply sighed, hoping this was a temporary thing as I drifted once more into unconsciousness. I guess I wasn't going to be getting half off pancakes anytime soon.
