Kani walked out to a clearing deep in the Heartland, where at the opposite edge stood a lovely maple tree. Its bark was woven in a twisting, almost woven, pattern that created a perfect burrow hole right in the center of the tree about five feet up. At its base there sat a few trinkets in a clay bowl: a coin marked with a quarter cut out of it, a straw doll that was arguably far too small to be played with, and a gently dinged up headband. Kani walked up to the tree placing her hand against its bark before sitting just far enough away to bow at the bowl.
She lifted up from her bow and smiled lightly, "Hey dad.. It's been a little while.." She let out a long sigh before she continued, "I just wanted to come by and say that I did it.. I got into the academy just like you." She let out a small chuckle, "Mom says that you would be very proud of that, but also that I should tell you in person because it would make you happy to hear.." She paused and looked up at the tree, "I don't really think this counts as in person but.. It'll do right?" She cleared her throat trying to keep back the tears that were now building in her eyes.
For a long time Kani and her mom would come twice a week to this clearing. But as time had passed, and they got busier with work, the visits became fewer and fewer. She eventually had almost stopped coming but every now and again, up until today it had been a few months since her last visit. But no matter what, Kani came out this day every year, the day her father passed away. While there was not a proper grave for him, as there was no body was ever recovered, this was the closest thing they could do. His headband was here and the evidence of his fight, and thus if this is where he spent his final moments it was good enough for Kani.
"You know, I met someone my age.. I think you'd like him he's really funny. It's nothing like that before you go on worrying from where you are.. But I made a friend.. Or at least I think I did." She let out a sigh and sank a bit into the grass. "I think you'd really like how I am now, I'm very funny, outgoing, and of course always respectful. Just like you, or at least that's what mom says." At this point the tears began to trickle down her cheeks, not in a flow but just the occasional droplet leaving her eyes. "Mom says a lot of things actually.. About you now.. Ever since I got in she's all of a sudden full of stories about you, and it's really.. Nice to know about you and all but I will be honest, I wish I was hearing these stories from you.."
There it was, the crack in the perfect armor she was always trying to keep up. Her eyes began to more than just drip, but a steady stream of tears now rolled down her cheeks as she began to sound choked up. "I don't understand, and maybe.. Maybe I never will.. But I just wanted you here and I know you don't control that but.. I just.." She let go into a sobbing cry for a few moments, her chest tightening and her lungs feeling as if they were burning as she uncontrollably released her emotions. She picked up his headband and held it to her chest for a moment as she tried desperately to shove these feelings deep down, to just cut it off and feel nothing again.
If Kani seemed happy, if she acted like her life was perfect, then who was going to tell her anything else? If she kept up the illusion for those around her, then she was happy. If her mom never heard her sob at night, well after she had gone to her room for the evening, then it never happened. Kani's life was perfect and happy, so long as that's what she portrayed to anyone on the outside. She was happy and kind, she didn't need to be more than that. Every day, every moment, Kani thought these things to be the reality of it all. The only exceptions were these moments where she truly made herself vulnerable to the world, and that only ever happened here, in this grove.
After the cathartic release of her letting herself feel was finished, she lowered her gaze to meet the headband in her hands. A single droplet bouncing off the metal and leaving its splashed mark on it. She let out a small chuckle, and wiped her eyes with her hand, the other tightening her grip on the headband. "Thanks.. I know you aren't actually here anymore, but it feels good to get it out sometimes you know?" Her eyes looked up to the tree burrow for a moment as two birds flew out of it, probably in a nervous panic response to her crying, she thought. She placed the headband back into the bowl alongside the other keepsakes and let out a sigh. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to answer me sometime?" She let out a small chuckle at her own, twisted admittedly but silly as well, joke.
"I certainly could.." A voice rang out from the treeline, accompanied by the smell of cigarette smoke.
Kani froze, her heart jumping out of her throat, her body shaking, who was out here and why the hell were they answering for her father? 'This has to be some sort of messed up prank right?' She thought as she slowly stood. She took slow and deep breaths, as she braced herself to turn and face whoever decided to interrupt her time with her father's grave. She turned around to see a man leaning against a tree, cigarette in hand as he watched her. The features of this man were obscured by the trees and shadows casted from them.
"Who are you?" Kani asked with a small fire brewing in her chest. Her voice was firm, but her hands showed that she was simply terrified. They trembled uncontrollably as she stood her ground, if he could see them then it would be obvious that her stance was a bluff.
"Settle down firecracker, it's been a long time.. But I think you know that answer."
Her eyes scanned him for a moment before she started to lose her composure. "D...Dad?" Her voice trembled now, all of the show she had put on left her in a moment as she was desperate to know the truth.
"Easy, I just wanted to answer you.." His voice was gravely and carried just slightly on the wind. He put up his hands in a show that he meant no harm as he took another drag from his smoke. The light danced off his face, only truly revealing a small scar on his lip.
"Don't..This isn't funny, whoever you are leave me alone!" She huffed and pounded her foot against the ground. However, that was more show to distract then an actual fit. Her hand was behind her back and in it was a kunai prepared to volley his way the second he gave her a reason.
"You're mothers name is Tsunishi, You're thirteen years old, You probably still have Kumi the lizard stuffy I got you from the sand village when you were six.. What else can I do to prove what I say here?"
Her eyes pinned on the man and she took a step toward him, as she did this he took a step back almost in perfect unison. "Wh.. Dad.. You're..."
"I can't stay.. This was a mistake.."
"Wha..What do you mean? Please.. Just" she began to run toward him. She sprinted as the tears returned to her eyes.
As she reached the tree line he was gone in a flash of shadowy movement. The cigarette he had fell to the ground, the end bounced and flickered as the embers danced off of it. She stood where he once did a mix of emotions flooding her all at once. Sadness that she wasn't able to hug the man she thought had passed going on five years ago now, confusion on what happened and why he couldn't stay, but most of all she felt anger that he left. She deserved more, her mother deserved more, and he was alive.. He was alive. He had hesitated for the entirety of her mad dash toward him, but in a moment he decided that it was best he was gone.
"Please.. just.." Her voice trailed off, broken and disheartened by the events unfolding in front of her. She stopped for a moment to lean down and pick up the cigarette, putting it out and then in her pocket. If anyone knew what he smoked, it was her mother. This was how she proved it, that she wasn't just seeing things. She darted off to home with a new found fire, she was determined to find out the truth.
[WC 1528]
