Memories in Nature [Open]

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo walked through the forest, his duel-colored braid swaying behind him. The twenty-three year old Genin eyed each tree as he passed, sometimes grazing his slender fingers along a leaf or branch. It had been six years since he'd been back here, though it only felt like a few days. This had been his practice location, a place away from Tama and his fans. A site of solace. Scanning the leafy canopy, Tomo spotted the specific tree where he had trained his body and mind to fully embrace the path of archery. The midday light glistened between the branches, and Tomo smiled warmly.

A voice within his head spoke, causing the young man to frown. Oh my Tomo-boy, what a dazzling view. Perhaps you could leap on up there so I may partake in the glorious sight? The Genin scoffed. "No." The voice laughed mockingly. Oooohoohoohoo! It seems your decision is for the best. This memory of you plummeting to the forest floor is most unflattering. I'd rather you not bruise our gorgeous body. Tomo's eye twitched as he contemplated smacking himself, just to spite the dreadful mind interloper. However, the Genin thought better of it. On the off chance that there was someone else in the area, Tomo didn't want to look like a total basket case. He had already had such an episode at the hospital, and he dreaded what might happen if he truly was labeled crazy.

Reaching a clearing, Tomo reminisced about training with his sisters. He could even see an old scorch mark on a nearby tree, a result of Koko's fire jutsu. The young man approached the tree and placed a hand on the blot. The unwelcome spirit chimed in again. You certainly got your patootie creamed by your sisters. I believe our melding was fate. I shall help you become the stunning shinobi you've always dreamed of. Tomo shook his head at the over-exuberant voice. "I don't need to be a 'stunning shinobi.' I am quite content with my current position, thank you." The voice sighed. Suit yourself Tomo-boy. But should you ever change your mind, I, Haruki, shall always be here to assist. Tomo's eyes narrowed. "No you're not! All you want to do is take over my body!" Haruki laughed. Oooohoohoohoo! Yes yes, I suppose I do, don't I? But Tomo-boy, believe me when I say, I would love to make you better. For my dear Haruko! Tomo's nose scrunched just thinking about the incestuous desires of his spirit bodymate. The only comfort Tomo had was that his sister had failed to be possessed by Haruki's twin lover, Haruko. However, that didn't seem to stop Haruki from wanting to seize Tomo's body and make out with Tama. A shiver ran down Tomo's spine as the thought passed through his mind.

Not wanting to dwell on the horrific idea of his mouth making contact with Tama's, Tomo walked into the center of the grassy field, the wind from the mountains causing the Genin's braid to thrash around behind him. The young man stood still, looking up at nothing in particular. "Haruki...can you see my memories?" The ghost confirmed. Yes yes. Of course I can. I see every memory that sparks in your mind. Not to mention it gets rather dull in here, so I take pleasure in watching your life from time to time. Tomo scowled. He had many memories he'd rather remain hidden, and Haruki didn't seem the type who could keep a secret. Curiosity urged Tomo to continue their conversation. "If you can see my memories, why haven't I seen yours?" Haruki responded, his voice melancholy. Because most of them are gone. Tomo-boy, memories degrade over time. Like a stone beaten with water, so too have by memories been crushed. "I don't think you're using that simile properly..." Be quiet I'm talking! "Sooorry...proceeeed." Thank you. What was I saying? Oh yes yes, beaten memories. Only the memories closest to my soul have persevered over the many years of my spectral existence. So, as you can imagine, they all center around my darling Haruko. "Yeah yeah yeah. I love Haruko, give me your body, man we are gorgeous. I've heard that from you plenty already." A laugh came from Haruki. Oooohoohoohoo! And that, Tomo-boy, is all you need to know. Tomo crossed his arms. "Unhelpful, but for the best. The less I know about you, the easier it will be to get you out." The specter chuckled again. Keep dreaming Tomo-boy. Keep dreaming.

The Genin sighed, assuming that Haruki was making a joke. Tomo had successfully prevented Haruki from taking over his body, thanks to the Genin's mental defenses. However, he wasn't quite strong enough, and now whenever Tomo slept, he had to play a game of Go with Haruki. Though the annoying ghost had failed to win as of yet, Tomo felt that it would only be a matter of time before Haruki's dumb luck claimed victory. Tomo wished Sennin Takaki Masao was still alive. Perhaps the old man could have helped Tomo in some way. But time was a cruel mistress, as was the life of a shinobi.

Reading Tomo's thoughts, Haruki spoke. You know, Tomo-boy, our assimilation has given you the ability to perceive and converse with ethereal beings. Therefore, could you not simply speak with this Masao's ghost? Tomo blinked a few times in shock. "I...uh...I guess I could...maybe...if his spirit is still in this world...but what could he do for me as a ghost?" What could he have done as a living individual? "Point taken. But perhaps I may go to visit his grave some time to see if he's there. He might have some sagely advice to give...if one is to believe that adventure novels are based on truth. Though if he has ended up like you, I'll get a big, fat pile of nothing." You wound me Tomo-boy. Wooooound me. Tomo could imaging the over-dramatic man swooning. Tomo rolled his eyes before reentering the sea of trees. "Uh huh. Well, I'm a bit worn out. Why don't we find somewhere to relax...in silence." No promises Tomo-boy.

---An Hour Later---

Tomo heaved a sigh as he sank into the small pond. The water was cold, but there was something soothing about the frigid liquid. The afternoon sun was the only thing preventing the young man from shivering violently. Normally it would be an atrocious idea to bathe in the middle of the forest like this, but ever since he'd merged with Haruki, Tomo had gained the ability to more easily sense things around him. The Genin began to wash his arms and his eyes fell to his reflection in the water. He frowned slightly. Without his male-oriented clothes, Tomo still looked quite effeminate, despite growing taller over the past six years. Everything about him was thin and slender. It didn't help that his time between the real world and the spirit world had caused any muscle tone he had previously to all but disappear. He would have to fix that. Tomo ran his fingers through his long, silky hair. He would probably look more manly if he cut it...but he found he sort of liked it. Not to mention Haruki had made a point of threatening Tomo if he even dared to glance at a pair of scissors. In the end, the only thing stopping someone from thinking he was a naked woman was his obvious lack of mammary glands.

Feeling he had successfully cleaned himself, Tomo closed his eyes as he leaned against the edge of the pond. He could hear the critters of the forest scurrying around, going about their day like nothing was new. Tomo lifted an eyelid to check on his belongings nearby. His weapon, Astrosigil, and clothes were laying in a pile to his right. The young man closed his eye again and recalled the events of that morning.

*Flashback*​

Spoiler

Tomo walked through the Mochizuki camp, receiving curious looks from everyone he passed. Between the six year absence, and the new hair, the Genin wasn't surprised that no one recognized him. However, to Tomo, nothing had changed. The tents were just as he remembered, and though older, many of the faces he noticed were familiar. As he neared the largest tent where the troupe held meetings, Tomo spotted a certain weapon leaning against a headstone. It was Astrosigil, the Genin's halbowd as he called it, in spear form. Tomo was relieved to see that it had been recovered from the tomb, but felt a bit guilty for it. Someone must have found it when Tama and Tomo were caught between this world and the spirit world. His family probably assumed that the twins had passed away due to the abandoned weapon.

Approaching the stone slab, Tomo placed a hand on it and read the inscription. 'Mochizuki Tama and Tomo, may their souls reach that great stage in the sky.' The Genin found the message silly, but he could tell that it was heartfelt. The duel-haired man grabbed the spear and examined it. It was in great condition considering it had gone unused for the past six years. Someone must have been taking care of it. The sound of footsteps drew Tomo's gaze to three children, two boys and one girl. None of them could be older than ten. The oldest boy pointed at Tomo. "Uh oh mister! Now you're cursed!" Tomo cocked an eyebrow, curious as to what the boy was referring to. The girl chimed in. "Yeah yeah! Anyone who touches that weapon will be cursed to remain a Genin for all eternity!" Tomo's face scrunched in disapproval and he slammed the butt of the spear on the ground. "Who told you that?!" The children ignored the Genin's question as they began to circled Tomo, chanting a rhyme.

"Mochizuki Tomo
Found to be dead
Cursed to be a Genin
Even on his deathbed."

A laugh rang in Tomo's head. Oooohoohoo! How catchy! Tomo's eyes darted up. Shut up you! Tomo wasn't angry that he was a Genin. He had always preferred the low rank, as it ensured he could stay out of danger while still fulfilling his duty to the village. However, what he didn't like was people insinuating that he didn't choose to be a Genin. Resisting the urge to smack the children for their insulting poem, the Genin marched into the large tent. Six pairs of eyes met him at the entrance. Takama, his eldest brother. Kimiki, his conniving older sister. Kiki and Koko, his older twin sisters. Saka and Soko, his younger twin brothers. Tomo felt a twinge in his heart as he looked over his siblings. They hadn't changed much over the past years, but the mistrust in their eyes was new. They didn't recognize him. Takama stepped forward, his arms crossed. "Who do you think you are, barging into this meeting? Even the new recruits know better." Tomo stood his ground, despite the intimidating tone of his brother's voice. Seeing what Tomo was holding, Takama approached the Genin, looking like he was about to punch his lights out. "And that! Who said you could touch that?! I ought to stick it right up your..." Takama was interrupted by Kimiki, who had also drawn close. "Takama! Such foul language is bad for our reputation, no matter how much someone deserves to hear it." Despite her fierce words directed at Tomo, the duel-haired man could see it in Kimiki's eyes...she had figured out who he was.

Soon, his other siblings closed in, looking over the intruder. His younger brothers both began to yank his braid. "Wow! So cool! Is it real mister?!" Tomo winced with each tug. "Ow! Yes! Stop!" Kiki and Koko grabbed a hand each, examining them. "Oh my gosh stranger! Your hands are so long and slender! Like a woman's!" They rubbed their cheeks against them. "And sooooooo smoooooooth." Tomo pull his hands away. "Stop that!" The twin women looked up at him, a gleam in their eyes. They, too, had ascertained Tomo's identify. By now, Takama's sneer had disappeared as well, for he had come to the same conclusion as the others. However, the eldest man remained silent as he seemed to be enjoying Tomo's agitation about being fondled by his siblings. Kimiki pulled a clipboard from the nearby table and began to write on it. "I don't know who you are sir, but I'll bet you would make a lovely idol. Perhaps we could make some arrangements?" Tomo huffed lightly and turned his back on his family. "You guys are jerks." Tomo reached for the tent flap as Takama spoke up. "Wait, before you go..." Tomo looked over his shoulder at his smirking brother. "What rank are you?" Tomo lightly growled, but answered the question. "Genin." A rush of bodies jumped at the young man. "TOMO!" Haruki laughed as Tomo growled again, but the young man accepted the embrace of his family. "I'll say it again. You guys are jerks."

Tomo sighed and sank lower into the water. He had such a frustrating family. I rather like them Tomo-boy. I can't quite put my finger on why though... "Because they like to torment me too?" Oooohoohoo! Yes yes, that MUST be it! Tomo rolled his eyes before letting them rest on the sky above. He tried to clear his mind, in hopes that it would keep Haruki quiet.

[Topic Entered]
[WC: 2,234]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

My name is Takaki Saeko, and I really need a good-looking man. More specifically, a good-looking man who's willing to do some highly stupid, dangerous, and definitely illegal things on my behalf, and then take the blame for all of it later. A patsy, a stool-pigeon, a fall-guy. Young, dumb, and full of...character.

When I need to conspire for the sake of evil, I usually go and screw around in the forest near the hot springs. It's got the right combination of solitude and tetanus spores to satisfy the wanderlust of your average bipolar shinobi with a personality disorder, and if you truly get lost, you can just start walking in any direction until you eventually emerge back into the village. That is, if you don't run into some of the forest's well-known hazards, including cybernetic murder-bears and hatchet cults comprised of academy students who wandered in and got lost because they don't know about basic navigation.

It's the glinting that first catches my eye. I'm a well-known kleptomaniac, so naturally my perception focuses on shiny things. I'm the annoying girl who spots a dented 1-sen coin on the street from ten meters away and rushes into traffic to pick it up. So when I see the glinting head of one of the legendary weapons of the Mochizuki Troupe just laying near a pool, my asshole immediately tightens. I won't be able to take a dump until next week.

I hunker down and try to scope out what the weapon exactly is. Aha, it's the spear! I think its name is "Assblaster" or something. I know about its existence because all the clans have to declare their S-rank property to the tax office so we know what the repossess when they fail to pay their taxes. How, though, did Assblaster just end up laying around in the middle of the forest? Wasn't it supposed to be wielded by the troupe's manager? Some flat-chested girl named Tomo? This is super suspicious, but right now, the most important thing is how I'm going to steal, I mean, recover the spear. As I'm about to sneak over and yoink it away, I freeze because now I notice the boy resting in the water.

My first thought is that I've stumbled across a corpse. Murder One in Kumo. That changes things, because if I steal Assblaster and leave a body behind, there are going to be all sorts of annoying questions and Raikage Haruka might just decide to fist me to death. Fortunately, the boy in the water exhales and the steam issuing from his mouth means I'm saved. That solves the first issue. The second, however, is this: who the hell is this guy? He can't be Tomo. Tomo's a goddamned loli.

Whoever he is, he makes my nose bleed. He looks like someone literally cut him out of the pages of a boys-love hentai doujin. He's the kind of character archetype that just begs to be dominated by a muscular but tender, older guy who wants to teach him the fundamentals of pleasure or something. Or, maybe sweetly seduced by a conniving, busty onee-chan. Just thinking about it is making me drool uncontrollably. That and the fact that he's freakin' naked.

A thought comes to mind. If he's stolen the Mochizuki spear, he's already in the shit and probably knows it, too. That and he certainly meets the attractiveness quotient I require. I can use this dumb, beautiful bastard for my nefarious schemes. Once again, the forest has provided the answer to all of my questions. The only issue now is how I get him to go along with my plans.

They say that to tame a proud young Colt, you have to show him who's boss. You have to be the alpha bitch and never be predictable or he'll learn bad habits. At the same time, you have to bend him, not break him. A broken horse is obedient but no fun. One that knows to yield but still offers some resistance, however, is a fantastic ride indeed.

A plan comes to mind. I wipe the blood away from my nostrils and silently whip off my outerwear until I'm just in my skivvies. Then, I take a running start and make a leap that clears the edge of the pool. If it goes right, I'll touch down right next to pretty-boy.

"CANNONBALL!!!"

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo could feel his eyes drooping as the clouds above began to lull him to sleep. Even Haruki was being exceptionally quiet, and it was quite possible that the specter had fallen asleep as well. "Maybe if Haruki is asleep...I can actually rest in peace." The chance of a full sleep was too enticing, and Tomo fully closed his eyes. He took in a breathe slowly, and exhaled.

A sudden shout startled the young man to attention, and he opened his eyes in time to see a scantily-clad woman with jet black hair fly in his general direction. Tomo had only enough time to calculate the trajectory, and thankfully the 'lady' wasn't going to land on Tomo. He brought his hands up to shield his face from the blast of water that shot towards him as the young woman touched down. He inched back a bit to give his new bathing companion some room. For better or worse, Tomo had grown up in a large family comprised mostly of girls. A look at the woman's undergarments wasn't going to send him into a tizzy. Now if she was nude...

Tomo shook the thought from his mind as a blush rose to his cheeks. He glanced at the woman when a shout sounded in Tomo's head. Avert yon eyes heathen! Our gaze shalt only fall upon the bare body of my Darling Haruko! The young man rolled his eyes at Haruki's protest, but complied. Keeping his eyes to the right, Tomo spoke. "I wasn't expecting...company." Wondering if the woman knew he was in the buff, Tomo inched away yet again, closer to his clothes. He was keeping his cool for now, but he wasn't sure how long his efforts would last. "Perhaps...I should go?" Tomo wasn't sure what he'd do if she said no. This kind of situation never ended well for naked guys.

[WC: 311]
[MFT]

 

[Minami Fujiko]

Fujiko strolled through the forest. She just needed to get away from all the town noice and sit down for a while. The scent of nature calmed her like noting else, and it was just what she needed now that she's joining the academy. She never asked for the tough life of a shinobi, but now that she was heading in that direction there was little to do about it. She would stay positive though. That was the one things she would do no matter what. When her training started for real she would grow strong and maybe then she will manage to win a wrestle against some of the guys on her street. Fujiko snickered. They'd feel so dumb. And besides the strength and agility, her life would surely become much more exciting this way.

Fujiko finally reached the pond she had been heading toward. Not to bathe of course, being engulfed with water seemed terrifying and much too risky for a girl who can't swim. As she got closer to the water, she heard a loud yell and a loud splash. She stopped abruptly and searched the pond for the source of sound. Soon she spotted what seemed to be two figures in the water. She sped up to examine them closer.
A woman with black and blue hair was on her way out of the water. She hadn't noticed me yet, but she was noticably uncomfortable for some reason. Further out there was a fierce looking woman with beautiful black hair. "Oh, wow!" Fujiko exclaimed rather loudly as she got close enough for them to hear her. "You guys can swim! That's super cool!" She grinned.

 

[Takaki Saeko]

S34-16-12(a): Any slice of life roleplay thread taking place within the Ancient Forest of the Nimbus Delectatio that involves a body of water larger than a puddle but no larger than a tributary is henceforth classified as a 'beach episode for ecchi fanservice.'

S34-16-12(b): Participants in threads classified according to subparagraph (a) must lose one item of clothing upon entering said body of water also described in subparagraph (a); this can include but is not limited to: bikini tops and bottoms for women and shirts and thongs for men.

Oh Christ! I forgot about that frickin' section before I made the leap! And it's even written down as a rule that everyone can read! As I touch the water's surface I start to flail uncontrollably when I realize what's about to happen. My half-cannonball makes enough of a splash to send droplets ten meters into the air and splash all over Naked-kun. It also causes me to lose my top, and the murkiness of the water makes it impossible for me to try to search for it quickly. Fortunately, the laws of ecchi fanservice also work both ways; just as I can't really make out what's between Naked-kun's legs (no matter how hard I try, and believe me, I tried), he can't exactly see two discrete spots on my chest.

"Brr! God dammit!" I holler as I emerge from the chilly water. "Yo, Naked-kun, why didn't you tell me how cold this water was? No wonder I can't see the goods!"

I sidle up to him and thrust out my arm as if outlining the horizon. "Shrinkage. Shrinkage everywhere."

"I wasn't expecting...company," Naked-kun says. He tries to inch away. I stop him. Don't think you're gonna get away from me so easily, buddy. There's still the question of what you're doing out here with the legendary Assblaster of the Mochizuki Troupe. That belongs in a museum! "Perhaps...I should go?"

I smile sweetly and tightly grasp something that he can't actually part with, at least not without incurring terrible pain and disability. Something that's an essential part of a man; in fact, the sole means by which he leaves a legacy in this world after his passing. I'm talking, of course, about his hand.

"Nah, I have a proposition for you," I purr. I squeeze a bit harder and interlace my fingers with his. "I mean, I couldn't help but notice your long and glistening...spear over there. I mean, it looks well-maintained, kind of like you lovingly polish it every day. I don't blame you, of course. If I had that kind of hardware, I'd give it a rubdown any chance I got. Do you have specific techniques you like to employ? Or a favorite choice of lubricant? Do you let others hold it sometimes, or must they wear gloves first? And after you've discharged its power, how long must you wait until you're ready to go again? Oh, and, uh, has anyone ever, you know, bitten it?"

I draw in closer to him and my breath tickles his earlobe.

"Did I come on too strong? Anyway, the point is, buddy, that you're in trouble. That delicious wood you have there belongs to the Mochizuki troupe and specifically to a loli named Mochizuki Tomo. As well-sculpted as you are, and you are well-sculpted indeed, you're not Tomo. So either hand over the spear and do whatever I say, or I call the ANBU and also get you busted on multiple counts of theft and harassment."

He's about to cave, I can feel it. Just turn the screws a bit more, Saeko. Just a bit more and you'll be the master of Assblaster!

"Oh, wow!" a child's voice erupts from nearby. I startle and turn my head to face the source. "You guys can swim! That's super cool!" she gushes.

Really? Why'd a kid have to show up now, when I'm just about to win? Wait. I can use this to further pressure this beautiful dumbass.

"Now look what you've done!" I snarl at Naked-kun. "You're exposing yourself to lolis! How could you? She's like, twelve!"

I cock my head at the kid. "Don't look at him! He's naked! You'll never get married at this rate!"

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

It was off...the bra was off. He could feel it as Saeko drew close to him, one of her...girls...grazing his chest, and his face couldn't hide his split view. The redness of his cheeks showed the sheer amount of embarrassment he felt. The hint of fear in his eye gave away his belief that this woman was possibly evil. But his lifted eyebrows were confirmation that having a female squishy part pressed against him was...pleasant to say the least. From cheek kisses last season to chest compression? My Tomo-boy, you've certainly jumped the shark, haven't you? We may have to fade to black at this rate.

Of course, the woman's dialogue certainly wasn't helping the situation. The long string of innuendos was not lost on Tomo as he swore his face was going to implode. And with her fingers intertwined with his, Tomo's chance at escaping his impending, face-melting doom disappeared into the distance. Despite Tomo's sex drive being rather subdued, his mind raced with images that would make even the most experienced person blush. Stop it this instant Tomo-boy! Think of the children! Think of me! That last sentence certainly worked to calm Tomo down. Well...his mind anyway.

Saeko drew closer still, and her breath sent a shiver down Tomo's spine. However, their one-sided discussion soon took a surprising twist as the black-haired woman began to threaten the duel-haired man. Though Tomo appreciated the well-sculpted line, it was a fleeting compliment amongst a rush of shrewd accusations. Tomo couldn't deny it, he was afraid. Despite his recent merging with Haruki, and gaining a surprising amount of courage, the young man still gazed at Saeko like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. No, a child framed to look like he had stolen a cookie. Tomo began to sputter lightly. Who would have thought he'd be missing the ecchi portion of this conversation?

However, a call from nearby brought the attention of the pond-dwellers, and Tomo turned his head back to see its source. Standing there...was a tiny girl. She couldn't be older than ten. Tomo staggered back, and prayed that the young child didn't know anything...or see anything. Tomo felt himself sink a little lower in the water, feeling thankful that his back was turned to the small girl. However, this also meant that fleeing was even less of an option now. It's one thing to accidentally show your junk to a woman...but a child's a completely different case...one involving lawyers and possible prison time.

Seeming to take this opportunity to throw Tomo under the train, Saeko chided him for exposing himself to a minor. The young man wasn't going to take that sitting...metaphorically. "Says the woman with her chest jiggling around for all to see! You're in this just as deep as I am." A snicker from Haruki made Tomo realize his unintended innuendo. Slapping a palm to his forehead, Tomo let his hand slide down his face as Saeko addressed the girl. For the first time since they met, the two at least had one thing they could agree upon. With his back still to the girl, Tomo nodded his head. "Well, I don't know about the marriage part, but it would be a good idea for you to not look." Without lifting out of the water, Tomo pressed himself to the edge of the pond and reached for his inventory pile. Lightly cursing to himself that he'd kept his weapon and scroll within arm's reach, but not his clothes, Tomo pulled his scroll toward him. Unrolling it, he looked through a few of his pre-made ink creations before finding the one he wanted. Infusing chakra into the ink, a small creature popped out.

Spoiler

It stretched, as if it had been woken up from a deep sleep. It looked to Tomo for instructions, and he pointed to the creature's bandana, then to the girl nearby. It nodded, or bowed, before waddling over to the little kunoichi-in-training. It undid its bandana and held it out to her so she could use it as a blindfold. Whether the girl took it or not was up to her, but Tomo just hoped that his creation would at least distract the girl from the unholy mess he had gotten himself into.

[WC: 713]
[MFT]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

[Moving on!]

"I'm in this as 'deep' as you are?" I scoff. "That's another count of sexual harassment, not to mention the lamest attempt at NLP anyone's ever tried to use on me! What the fuck are you going to say next? 'Spread yourself open so I can put my big happiness inside to penetrate your secrets and come to an understanding with you but first look below me?' Idiot!"

I submerge myself up to my eyes in displeasure and fix my best, bubbling scowl on Naked-kun. Right now, he's looking especially silly groping around himself trying to reach his belongings for some purpose that can only be illegal or at least ill-thought-out. If he tries to go for Assblaster, I'm going to cut off his head and drink beer from his skull. I'll take the rest of him to this taxidermist I know, and... And that's way too gross even for me. Fortunately, Naked-kun appears to be grasping at a scroll chock full of what can only be described as obscene doodles, presumably so he can get himself an additional five years in solitary for trying to solicit a minor into lewd acts. This guy is perfect - he's too dumb to live, and too pretty to die. Now I need to just seal the deal and get him to be my slave.

Somehow, an inky creature starts to emerge from the page in a painful and unholy-looking process and makes its way over to the kid. It looks like a cross between a helicopter and trichomonas. The way I figure it, the creature's definitely gonna eat her. They say that nine out of ten academy students don't make it past their first post on Ninpocho Chronicles: this is natural selection in action. Were I a better person, I'd attempt to save the kid, but instead I return to ogling Naked-kun.

"Hmm, I suppose you're not all failed pickup lines and bad decisions. That's a handy little trick you have there, Fujoshi-bait," I say to him while tipping an imaginary fedora. "Still, I wonder where you got it. That's also something that Mochizuki Tomo, the rightful owner of this spear, specializes in. Say, you didn't like, do some gross ritual in which you merged your body into hers and took over her powers, did you? That's pretty sick if you did, and you'll definitely have to pay."

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

"Your incessant need to thrust your dirty words at me is successfully grinding my gears.......damn it!" Apparently speed seduction was contagious, and Tomo grumbled curses to himself. He turned to see how the little girl was doing, only to see that she'd apparently passed out. His ink creature lightly poked the girl with the butt of its spear. "Hey! Stop that! Leave her be...I'm sure she's had enough of a traumatic experience for one day..." The creature jumped in surprise, but did as it was told. It tied its bandanna back on its head and returned to Tomo.

Hearing the woman speak again, Tomo turned to face her, only to turn his body to the side. She had sunken down so only her head was showing...and that meant her mouth was a little too close to his goods. Hearing that the lady recognized his skills, but didn't acknowledge him as being who he was, Tomo sighed. That wench! The ritual was a gorgeous display of my strength and beauty! How daaaaare she insinuate that I would do anything 'gross'. Tomo lowered his voice. "Hey. You forced your ashes into my body, that's pretty sick if you ask me." They were CLEAN ashes Tomo-boy!

Not wanting to waste his breath arguing with Haruki, Tomo returned his attention to Saeko. "Alright, listen. I'm going to make this clear. I. Am. Mochizuki. Tomo." Tomo pointed his finger at his creature, ordering it to rummage through his clothes. The ink creation pulled out Tomo's new passport and held it out to the Genin. In turn, Tomo held it out to the young woman. "See? Mochizuki Tomo. MALE." He tapped the small male symbol three times. "I'll admit, I was a bit too...pretty...when I was younger, but now I'm-" Gorgeous! "Gorgeous. ...Wait, what? Well, whatever. The point is, your threats hold no weight anymore." You tell her Tomo-boy! No fear! That's right, Tomo had nothing to fear from this woman anymore...right?

 

[Takaki Saeko]

"Oh? Trying to pass off a fake passport now?" I sneer. This gets better and better. Not only has Yaoibait over here fed poor Tomo into a meatgrinder and stolen Assblaster, he's also committed the one crime that Cloud Council actually gives a shit about: identity theft. If I had a personal recorder I'd probably dictate something like this: "Diane, I'm currently taking part in what the locals call an 'ecchi fanservice' episode of these Ninpocho Chronicles, sharing a cramped body of water with possibly one of the most attractive and empty-headed men I've ever laid eyes on. It's a chill fifty-four degrees on a thursday, and the air has a certain boreal essence best captured by the scent of PIne-Sol. We're at the scene of multiple crimes including contracting with the undead, attempted corruption of a minor, theft of historical artifacts, and now, an attempt to pass forged papers. I had originally thought this young man before me to be the perfect specimen for enslavement and possibly some molestation on the side, but now it is apparent to me that he is simply too dumb to live and a clear and imminent danger to mostly himself."

Hopefully I didn't actually say that in Fujobait's presence, and hopefully he didn't notice me miming the process of making a voice memo. I snap the suspicious documents away from him (fortunately, the powers that be decided to make the pages waterproof, because this sort of thing happens a lot) and inspect it with a critical eye. As a higher-up in the Deathwatch, one of my jobs happens to be gauging the authenticity of such papers. Of course, I can't claim to hold a candle to the famous Uchiha Sei, who can sniff out a fake Cobrastani work visa stamped on the wrong page of a Water Country immigration packet issued during the occupation of Kagoshima. Actually, how'd this joker get in if that incomprehensible woman was on duty in the first place?

It's a new passport, that much is apparent. To my disappointment, things seem to be mostly in order. Well, fuckit - the best test of a Cloud passport is also the most old-fashioned one. I take the corner of the front page and sink my teeth into it. Fakes will always tear, while the real ones will leave a nice little dental impression there forever. His doesn't tear, though.

I could be overthinking this. It's not outside the realm of possibility that Mochizuki Tomo could have actually been male but mistaken for a cute girl for all of his life, to the point where our issuing department just marked him as "female" on most of his documents. It's not like you have to undergo mandatory penis inspection to leave the village anymore: that rule only existed under Hikari! Perhaps that's why this passport seems so new. Perhaps Sei actually caught this at the gates and subjected Tomo to the legendary Blue Chair treatment, which she only gives to missing scum she thinks are cute (Sei is a Fujoshi, through and through).

Uggh. I'm about to hand the passport back to Fujobait and maybe even apologize for the trouble but then, something catches my eye. It's his rank. And his age. I do a double-take and start to crack up.

"Fuck me in the ass, are you serious? Are you a Twenty. Three. Year. Old. Genin?" I howl in laughter, so much that I nearly drown. "I mean, I've seen some shit in my time. I've seen forty-year-old virgins and ten-year-old jounins, but a twenty-three-year-old genin? How the hell did that happen? Wait! Oh shit, are you also a virgin, too? Please tell me you are so I can laugh at you more! I mean, shit, even I'm a godrotting chuunin! That means I can tell you what to do!"

Now I'm laughing so hard I really am gonna drown.

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Yup. This woman was crazy. Why did Tomo seem to attract crazy? First Kiri, then Haruki, now this chick. The young man didn't dare say a word on the Saeko's monologue. He'd rather make it out of this situation alive and with all his body parts. He wondered whether he should just make a break for it. With the little girl passed out and crazy chick mumbling something about Pine-Sol, now would be the best time. With his rump pushed against the wall of the pond, Tomo counted in his head. One...Two... "HEY!" The black-haired female snatched Tomo's passport away, and the Genin's eye began to twitch uncontrollably. "I-I need that!" The probing...not the probing...I can't handle another probing. Saeko bit down on the corner, which took Tomo aback. "What the hell?!" The man was flitting between anger and fear, trying his best to not wrangle his passport away from the woman.

However, she looked like she was about to give the object back. Tomo almost had it in his grasp when she suddenly burst into laughter. No...nonono...don't be about my... "Fuck me in the ass, are you serious? Are you a twenty. Three. Year. Old. Genin?" Rank... Why were people so focused on his rank? Why did people insist that a young man couldn't choose to remain a rank that suited his personality? A rank that wouldn't put him into harm's way? Even that was a failure, as he had almost died on a mission with his idiot sister. Of course, at the virgin comment, Tomo blushed and averted his eyes. "M-my sexual activity is none of your business." That obviously gave the woman her answer. Then her final statement sunk in. She outranked him. She could make him do anything in the name of the Raikage. Yup, he was probably going to lose his innocence. Right here in a pond in front of a little girl. This chick seemed too psychotic not to order him to do such a thing. His humiliation and frustration overpowered his fear as Tomo yanked his passport out of the woman's hand. "I'm not doing anything unless you give me the paperwork proving that it is a mission for the village." Hopefully his bluff would get him out of any trouble this woman was going to rain down on him.

 

[Takaki Saeko]

They say that too much laughter can damage your brain. "A sudden, violence increase in intracranial pressure may spur the rupture of an aneurysm," says the shinobi medical textbook, and although I always thought it was a load of total bullpocky, right now I'm willing to give that hoary old screed some credence. I must have popped a vessel in my head, because my blissful state of spiteful hilarity is rapidly being polluted by something else: compassion (eew!). I'm actually starting to feel bad for this twenty-three-year-old genin named Mochizuki Tomo, who in addition to failing as a shinobi has also failed as a healthy human being. While getting it on doesn't add to or detract from one's intrinsic value, staying "pure" for too long basically makes you crazy.

"Oh relax, you horny idiot, I'm not gonna molest you or anything," I say with a scowl. "How did I know that's what you were thinking about? It's written all over your face. You probably touch yourself while fantasizing about a crazy honey like me relieving you of your burden in the woods, but this is real life, Fujobait. No one hands out chuunin medals for nothing, and girls don't fall out of the sky onto your junk. If you want to have more disposable income, get your family to stop shitting on you for being a disappointment, and also lose that pesky little V-card, you have to make your own way forward. You not only have to grab opportunities before you, but also have the will to carry things through to the end. It might feel more comfortable to stay in your safe, mediocre little existence, but all that'll happen is you'll be alone in the end."

I start to exit the pool - I might be showing some skin, but Mochizuki Tomo is the truly naked one, here.

"You're right, by the way. Without a mission order from the Council, I can't make you do much. But if you wanted, I could help you out, at least in a professional sense. Maybe I'm feeling bad about accusing you of crimes, or maybe I'm trying to get you to do prison time in my stead. If you're up for it, meet me later, at the legation in one week. Personal training, we'll call it. Ask for Tax Bitch. Ciao."

[TL - offer made]

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo couldn't hide the shock in his expression as the woman before him read his mind. Her explanation as to how caused the young man to frown. Do I really give off that vibe? Is it so unreasonable to think I have no sexual desires? Well...didn't have... Tomo couldn't deny that this encounter had certainly set his body a-tingle. Perhaps he really was as horny as a school boy, he just had to see a random, half-naked chick to bring it to light. Pushing the thought from his mind. Tomo listened to the rest of the woman's words, and he blinked in surprise. She was actually being quite insightful. Tomo closed his eyes to ponder. A mediocre life means I live longer. While my siblings are out doing deadly missions, I'm sitting on my rear doing paperwork. Important paperwork, work that won't matter if my family isn't around to benefit from it.

As Saeko lifted herelf out of the pond, Tomo turned his back so he couldn't see anything. He'd done enough perverse things to last a lifetime, he didn't need to add another if he could avoid it. She spoke, offering to 'train' Tomo in a week if he desired. The young man stared at the water, his reflection still rippling from the woman's exit. He didn't say a word until Saeko was gone. "I don't care about rank. But... I should at least try to help my family more. More money couldn't hurt, and maybe I could get a bit stronger. To protect my family and friends." And me Tomo-boy! "You aren't included." Whether you want to or not, you have to. I am inside y- "Would you stop wording it like that!" Tomo growled to himself, but calmed down quickly. "Should we Haruki?" That woman is the most insane creature I have ever met...but perhaps that's what you need to grow Tomo-boy. "Yes...for some reason I learn the best from crazy."

Tomo eyed the little girl laying in the distance, making sure she was still passed out. As quick as he could, the Genin jumped out of the water and slid into his white pants. Letting out a sigh of relief, he finished dressing himself in his orange shirt and armbands. Grabbing his things, Tomo was about to leave when a tug at his pant leg stopped him. His ink creature pointed to the little girl, and Tomo nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I guess it would be bad to leave her out here alone." The young man approached the girl and knelt beside her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, Tomo gently shook it. "Hey, you okay kiddo?" He wait for a response, his hair still down and dripping.

[Offer From Saeko Accepted]​

 

[Minami Fujiko]

Fujiko's eyes groggily fluttered open. She looked up to see the woman from before hunched over from beside her, lightly shaking her by the shoulder. Her sight was hazy as she tried to focus her eyes and her head pounded lightly. She couldn't quite remember how she had fallen. She traced her memory back, but remembered nothing after running up to the pond to say hi. Fujiko pushed herself up into a sitting position and leant back against a rock behind her for support. "What happened?" she mumbled, barely audibly enough to hear.
although slightly confused, she felt more embarrassed than anything. Fainting was just way too much of a bother for those around her, and it wasn't like there was anything seriously wrong with her.
Fujiko nervously looked up to study the woman, only to realize that she, or he, probably wasn't even female. If it hadn't been for the lack of chest, she probably wouldn't have suspected a thing.
For a brief moment she felt envious. This guy had beautiful long hair of fantastic quality and the prettiest face she had yet seen bestowed upon another. It wasn't attraction as much as it was admiration from her part, and honestly, what did an eight year old like her know about attraction?

She shook the thought out of her head. Envy is foul. Papa always says that. "I hope I wasn't of any both-" she started, but stopped mid sentence. "Wasn't there another person here earlier?" She searched the area for the woman with the fierce eyes, but couldn't find a trace of her. Fujiko furrowed her brows in confusion and stood up. Her legs felt unsteady and she barely caught herself from falling as her head started spinning again. The woman was nowhere to be seen.

 

[Rega]

From under the water, silently and without any hint of bubbles coming up from the bottom of the pond, a shadow gradually followed as the chuunin wandered back out into the woods. It only took a moment before the mask of an ANBU broke the surface of the water, shortly being followed by a mass of vine-like tendrils coiled together! They rose up in a pillar, before parting down the middle to reveal a completely dry and rather frustrated woman encased in a makeshift vine-rope tunnel. Snatching her mask from the top of the column she had emerged from, she grumbled and waved the water off of it before stepping out onto the solid ground and looking around. "Stupid demon-senses not including the ability to detect water as well as life signs... I swear, if I hadn't been quick on the draw, I might have drowned!"

It didn't take much to notice the duo a short distance away, apparently a ninja and her little sister. It wasn't much to read off from deep underground as she practiced her sixth sense, and it didn't seem like anybody was in combat at any point, but damnation... It seemed like somebody had made a swift movement recently and it was the first time she'd detected a movement above ground from anything bigger than a squirrel. Still, she was here now, and there was no sense wasting such an entrance without giving an introduction. "I, uh... I've been underground a bit today, and am a little bit lost. My name is Rega... I don't suppose either of you have been anywhere near the Sileo Tempestas today? I figured using wood and earth at the same time for travel sounded like a good idea until I realized you can't even see the rock and stone you're displacing..."

Word Count :: 304, marked for training~ And even included losing an article of clothing at first =3

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

The girl took a moment to awaken, and finally pulled herself up. Tomo's had hovered behind her back, ready to catch her should her arms give out. Once she was situated, the child questioned what occurred. Tomo sighed, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. "I'm not sure, but it was probably for the best." Memories from only a few minutes ago flashed in Tomo's mind, and he couldn't be more relieved that the kid had not been conscious for it. Returning his focus to the girl before him, the Genin gave her a calm smile. "Yes, there was another. However, she had other business to take care of, I can only assume. You shouldn't interact with her anyway, she's quite the crude woman." Tomo didn't have all that much room to talk. He had let loose a few curses as well during his time with Saeko. However, he was chalking that up to her influence, and that it didn't truly reflect the kind of man he was.

Tomo rose from his crouch as the young girl attempted to lift herself to her feet. He held a hand out in case she needed help, though he made sure not to touch her. There was enough invasion of personal space today. Tomo shivered, an odd feeling washing over him. He had heard stories of the forest being cursed, but he had yet to run into anything dangerous. Had he finally pushed his luck? The Genin scanned the trees in front of him, but saw nothing. He then turned to see a young woman within a unique tunnel where Tomo had been previously bathing. Thank Raiden I got out before she showed up... However, Tomo noticed the ANBU mask hanging on a vine and tensed up. His spear ink creature took a defensive stance in front of the little girl beside Tomo. There was no telling whether this ANBU was one of theirs, or from another village.

However, Tomo relaxed a bit as the ANBU hopped out of her makeshift channel and complaining about not being able to sense water. This person didn't feel like a woman on a mission. But just to be safe, Tomo didn't drop his guard fully. The woman introduced herself, and explained her situation. Tomo bowed. "Mochizuki Tomo, manager-in-training and rising idol of the Mochizuki Troupe. I'm afraid you are a ways from your intended destination. It might be to your benefit to travel above ground for the duration of your trip." Tomo had to admit, her travel idea had been rather intriguing, and seemed like a perfect way for an ANBU to move around unnoticed. However, he wondered if he should suggest she buy a lantern for next time? Maybe a dowsing tool for the water issue? Realizing the young girl hadn't given her name to him yet, Tomo looked to Fujiko, awaiting an introduction.

 

[Rega]

(Since it's been a week without a reply from our academy student colleague, I'll go ahead and play up her previous status of woozy and unresponsive.)

The older woman seemed to be somewhat doting over her young friend, possibly a sister, but otherwise looked like little more than another kunoichi of Kumogakure... and thankfully not of some other village probing the outskirts past the wall. The possibility of tunneling under the earth to reach outside the village was, of course, insane. This, however, was one of those days where it seemed like anything could go wrong. Heck, it could have even been an intruder, but considering how long it had been since she had torn down a rival ninja in combat, perhaps that wouldn't have been a complete waste of time. As all these thoughts shifted about in her obnoxiously quiet inner monologue, still adjusting to the lack of voices from her brother, sister, and mother, she noticed something of an inconsistency in her company. Squinting hard, she stared at Tomo and attempted to figure out what it was that picked at her attention to detail, until she gasped at the revelation at her profession and smiled wide.

"That is a sorely needed job in a world as chaotic as ours... Do humor me a bit though, did I happen to interrupt a performance rehearsal? I'd really hate to have disrupted a covert bit of training in such a field, and I can pretend that I'm not here better than most~" Her voice almost sang as she forgot all about showing up to do paperwork back at her office. One of the perks about being an ANBU Captain without a squad was that most encounters with shinobi could be written off as "scouting" and not be investigated further... Manipulating a few seals with rapid hand movements, she drew up a chair of wood and earth beneath her legs before a gust of wind brushed past the assembled ninja and dusted the top off prior to sitting. "So, what kind of an act do you put on, miss Mochizuki?"

Word Count :: 324 words, marked for training

 

[Minami Fujiko]

(sorry guys, bringing my comp with me next time. I've been out partying 5 times since last time and have been at my friend's and an job interview the rest of the time..)

Still feeling a bit out of it, fujiko's eyes glazed over slightly and everything felt hazy. She focused all her energy into standing upright without fainting again. As she started feeling a bit better again she took notice to her suuroundings.
The man from before was no longer crouching, but trather standing facing a woman coming out of the water. He looked ready to go if needed. What really drew her attention though was the strange looking creature standing before her.
She felt like touching it, but pushed the urge back. Fujiko looked back up to the woman that came from the water as she moved a bit closer. "That is a sorely needed job in a world as chaotic as ours... Do humor me a bit though, did I happen to interrupt a performance rehearsal? I'd really hate to have disrupted a covert bit of training in such a field, and I can pretend that I'm not here better than most~" The woman sung.

A bit worried, Fujiko gnawed on her lip and took a slight step back. She couldn't quite read the situation and still had no idea of what was going on around her. Her eyes widened as the woman began making seals in a quick manner. It was positively not a good sign. Before she got time to get further worried however, a chair took form beneath the woman. Before she sat down a small gust of wind dusted it off for her. "So, what kind of an act do you put on, miss Mochizuki?"

Fujiko's jaw dropped in amazement and she couldn't help but awe at the chair. "No way.. That is so cool!" Fujiko burst out with an impressed smile. Her head snapped towards Tomo. "Can you do stuff like that too, mister?" she smiled. Anything this woman could do, surely this guy could one up. He was her hero after all! She jumped, giddily, up and down in excitement.

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo sighed slightly as the young woman called him a 'miss'. However, after his fiasco with Saeko, he figured he'd let it slide for now. The brunette performed a few handseals to pull up a makeshift chair from the earth, and Tomo's eyebrows rose. I should see if anyone in the troupe can do that. It would make setting up our performance areas much faster. Save time, save money. Focusing again on the ladies around him, the two seemed interested in what Tomo could do. He addressed Rega first. "You didn't interrupt a rehearsal, so do not fret." The young man looked to the girl beside him, then back to the woman. "As for what I can do... many things really. Except for miming, because let's face it, miming isn't really performance material." Tomo placed the side of his finger upon his chin. "If you are hoping for a demonstration of my talents, I suppose it couldn't hurt. I may be a bit rusty though... a six year absence can do that."

Tomo took in a breath as he pulled his scroll from his vest, along with his other ink materials. The young man put on his best performance smile and began to doodle. When a creation was finished, it would pop to life. Small black butterflies floated off from the paper first, flitting around Fujiko and Rega. Next a small ink bird popped out, tweeting as it did a flip in the air. Following that was an ink pony, and Tomo lifted Fujiko up onto its back. The life-like creature walked around slowly, giving Fujiko a ride. Tomo then painted a black rose, and approached Rega. He bowed before handing the ink flower to the seated brunette, giving her a wink.

Returning to his scroll, Tomo noticed a female ink clone of his twin, Tama. However, it was from her younger years, when the two were still in their teens. He tweaked the image, and before long a life-sized young woman popped out of the page. She looked strikingly like Tomo, though her hair was in a braid. She flicked her ink bangs and gave a playful salute before beginning an acrobatics performance of her own. She flipped and tumbled, cartwheeled and rolled around the area. Tomo stood and assisted in her act, giving her boosts into the air like a human springboard.

While the ink woman balanced upside-down on Tomo, holding herself up with only one hand on his head, the young man addressed his audience. "As my title states, I am...or perhaps was...a rising idol of my troupe. If you wish, I could also perform a song for you." If the girls accepted his offer, he would begin to sing and dance a number called Jester. He was surprised at how easily the song came to him. Though his voice had dropped slightly in the past six years, it only broadened his range rather than lowering it. He could still hit the higher notes as he performed the chorus, and he couldn't help letting pride well up within him. He bowed once finished, only then realizing that the actual music had only been playing in his mind. He rubbed the back of his head and blushed lightly. "Ah...I presume it would have been better if there was music. You'll have to come to one of my shows to hear how it was supposed to sound." He awaited the ladies' reactions.

[WC: 573]
[MFT]

 

[Rega]

Watching the younger girl for a moment, Rega stifled a snicker and rubbed the back of her head. Perhaps this child was not a sister or actress after all. Still, the elder woman certainly seemed to be interested in entertaining, and that was all she needed to hear!.. Or at least, that is what she had wished. It was a constant trouble, viewing the world as an ANBU and a Sage, seeing the alterations of chakra seep into the environment. The trained eyes of the ninja woman focused on the scroll and the seals, and the unique method of making infused ink liberate into something more caught her undivided attention... Almost to obliviousness prior to being handed the rose. Hesitantly, she took the peculiar gift and studied it a moment more, before letting her behavior traits slip and embracing the performance.

The urge to add her own flair almost took over, as she got to standing from her seat as she studied the marvelous detail on the sister and the unicorn. Her hands started to move as she pondered what sorts of jutsu she might try to impress with, but the mention of song took the braggart out of her as she clasped her hands together and nodded repeatedly. "What sort of fool would turn down the song of a pretty idol? I beg of you, please share!"

Returning to her seat, she listened to the performance and was far more entranced. The music might not have been actually there, but the words of the song conveyed the tone quite well. As the woman finished up her performance, she rose to her feet once more and applauded her vigorously, before looking to see if the child was equally as impressed by the Mochizuki enchantress. "I can see that your absence was a crime against your troupe. You're marvelous, miss!"

Word Count :: 311 words, marked for training

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo's eyebrows rose at the claim that his talents were surely missed in his troupe. His surprise shifted to a smile. "Thank you kindly. Perhaps I should introduce you to my siblings. They seem to think joking upon my return was an appropriate response." Seeing that Fujiko was busy with the ink creature she rode upon, the young man took this time to focus on Rega. "Pardon my inquisitiveness, but are you fatigued from your trip? My sister often told me the life of an ANBU could be trying at times, and she especially hated the return treks." After dealing with Saeko, Tomo himself felt exhausted. "Perhaps you would like me to give you a lift to your desired destination? The nice thing about ink is that it is only limited by how creative your mind is." With that, Tomo snapped his fingers, and his ink sister obediently jumped into the scroll that was still unrolled on the ground. He walked to it and after a few brush strokes, an ink horse popped out. Tomo rolled up his scroll and swung himself onto his jet black steed. If Fujiko didn't object, Tomo would motion for her to follow on her pony. Holding a hand down to Rega, he looked her in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"

[Offering to Leave Topic by Riding Off Into the Sunset]