My Little Tama Can't Be This Cute! [C-rank]

[Takaki Saeko]

As a special treat, the cast of Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai will be making guest appearances as the NPCs of this mission! Why? Because I like the show.

The Red Palace, Su-Zaku Gate
Raiden no Me, Kaminari no Kuni
…1000 hours

The train ride had been comfortable if not luxurious, and Tama departed the station fully expecting to have to walk to the Palace or take a cab. This was especially the case since there was no way she would be able to scale buildings and travel along the rooftops like normal - the clothing she wore was pretty much the opposite of her regular gear, save for the ever-present Dynamic Tactical Panda Hood ©. Still, she was going on a date, not a hostage rescue or assassination, although many shinobi dates seemed to turn into one of the aforementioned situations.

To her surprise, when she departed from the station she had been greeted by a uniformed Agent of the Bakufuu Security Agency who had apparently been sent to retrieve her as well as drive her to the gates of the Palace. The man’s name was Kaguya, and with some needling, she found out that he had been recently recruited and had been assigned some comparatively menial tasks to do at first, such as drive her to her destination. The carriage was top-tier luxury – something more fit for a Shogun than for a shinobi, although the mini-bar was definitely locked.

Eventually, the carriage pulled up in front of the southern gate of the Red Palace, where after a security check of the carriage and of Kaguya’s and Tama’s identities, they were allowed to proceed. Tama’s first impression of the place was that it was way too heavily militarized to be any fun for the poor Shogun. After all, there had been two armored war wagons training 155mm ballistae on the carriage while their IDs had been checked, along with a legion of troops inside who looked ready to fight in a major armed conflict rather than just being on guard duty. Indeed, security for the Palace seemed almost ridiculously overdone, right down to the fact that all of the windows she could see were now covered with ugly steel bars. Kaguya pulled the carriage into an inner courtyard, where he dismounted and opened the door for Tama from the outside, beckoning for her to exit.

“Atten-tion!” bellowed one of the soldiers standing about, followed by the cacophony of men saluting and locking step. Wondering what all the sudden fuss was about, Tama now saw that she was being approached by the most powerful woman in the country, the Chancellor of the Bakufuu, Tachibana Ami.

“Ara ara,” chuckled Ami as she laid eyes on Tama’s new outfit. “You actually look pretty cute right now. His Majesty will be happy about that,” she said, giving the girl a polite nod. “Thank you for coming to spend some time with him, Mochizuki-chan. He will be ready in a few minutes. He had a few outfits he wanted to try on, and he does want to look his best for you. Now, just to talk business for a few seconds since you are a shinobi…

“You and he will be going incognito, but of course security concerns demand that you two be under constant observation from our BSA agents. They will attempt to be as unobtrusive as possible. His Majesty refused to disrupt any city activities or have any special accommodations made for you both, so for the day, you will essentially be ‘normal teenagers’ like any others.

“Finally, remember that although His Majesty is a former Kumo medical nin, he is incapable of utilizing handseals due to injuries from the recent civil war. If you two should run into a chakra-capable enemy, his security is your responsibility, Mochizuki-chan…”

Before the Chancellor could get another word in, footsteps ran out across the courtyard, turning heads. In fact, some of the guards, not recognizing him for who he was, briefly attempted to step forward and restrain him, only to be signaled by Ami to stop. The new arrival was the Shogun of Kaminari no Kuni, and he looked like a normal teenage boy.

“Tama-chan! Sorry I’m late!” he huffed, catching his breath. “Did you wait long?” he coughed a bit. Instead of the usual formal suit he wore for state business or functions, he was instead dressed in an entirely un-Shogun-like fashion. A light blue button-up shirt with short sleeves over a pair of stylish jeans and snappy-looking sneakers, and a gray, hooded zip-up jacket that was open in the front. No wonder the guards had not immediately recognized him…

“My Lord Shogun, worry not. Mochizuki-chan and I were discussing some internal matters,” said Ami, petting him on the shoulder.

“Oh, good… Tama-chan I…” Shiranai started to say, when he finally got a good look at Tama. He had thought her to be a cute girl, but now she looked wholly the part of a lovely young woman. His heart’s pace quickened instantly, and a blush spread across his cheeks when he realized that he was staring at her.

“Ah yes, she is quite moe right now, is she not? Well then, My Lord, I will leave you two be,” said Ami, bowing to the Shogun and turning to re-enter the palace. Shiranai seemed torn between the manly desire to be alone with his unexpectedly attractive date and the boyish desire to run back to mother (in a metaphorical sense, seeing as his biological mother was long-dead) but in the end he swallowed, stood straight, and put his best face forward.

“…Um, uh…you look really nice, Tama-chan,” he mumbled sheepishly. “Hey! So what do you want to do today?” he asked, changing the subject.

 

[Suzuki Setsu]

Tama worked hard to commit to memory everything in the envelope. Before leaving the train she had shredded it and its contents with some deft manipulation of wind, as well as fry the resulting shreds with a quick jolt of lightning.

Don’t let Ami-san buy my contract? I have a contract? Tama was unaware of this, as her mother had been the one handling all the paperwork with the village. And I have to get Shiri-tan to use his override-thingy on the Stuffy Old People Minus Ami-san Council. This was going to cut into her time with Shiri-tan. She let her mind rest on the idea of holding hands with him. Her heart began to race merely thinking about it. But her lovely little daydream was rudely interrupted by the arrival of a young officer with orders to take her to the palace. Tama was tempted to fry the boy lightly for interrupting her little reverie but didn’t because she would be seeing the real thing soon enough.

The ride was uneventful, and though Tama kept a straight face throughout it she was still impressed by the pomp and circumstance of the Imperial Court. It made a stark contrast to the form and functionality of nearly every building in Kumogakure. It didn’t mean that the buildings of Kumogakure were ugly by any means, they just didn’t radiate the splendor and magnificence the Imperial capital did. However, the beauty of the architecture was marred by the ballistae emplacements, hastily drawn up fortifications, and barred windows. Coupled with the many soldiers inside, it made the place more akin to a prison than a palace. Tama was already itching to leave, How can Shiri-tan stand it? she wondered to herself.

The person to greet her once she and the newbie guard entered the grounds was none other than the Chancellor herself. Tama braced herself for what she thought was going to be a direct assault for her shinobi contract, but that never came. Instead, Ami-san merely commented favorably on Tama’s choice of attire, which caused Tama to turn her attention towards herself instead of the experienced politician before her.

“Ah, y-you think so…,” she trailed off distractedly, very uncharacteristic for Tama. Ami-san mentioned something about Shiri-tan trying on several different outfits, which led Tama to imagine what outfits he would have tried on. However, again her reverie was interrupted as Ami-san attempted to remind the young Mochizuki of the responsibilities she would have while with the Shogun. The “under constant observation” part sounded especially annoying. Agents? More like perverts, Tama thought to herself. How was she supposed to be able to relax around Shiri-tan if she knew that they were being tailed. That was a problem that she would have to rectify.

The next thing that the Chancellor mentioned was that Tama would be responsible for the Shogun’s safety. Mentioning the injuries he had sustained during the civil war, brought Tama starkly back to reality. Makoro had been the one to injure Shiri-tan, but she had been part of the team that had let him get captured in the first place. Her one and only failure, no one really talked about the Raiden’s Breath anymore, even at that time no one had faulted her for it. She had been only a genin, no one expected her to be able to hold off a rogue-nin of Makoro’s ability, no one had expected Horo Danshi to derail the entire train. And both Tama and her counterpart Squishy-chan had been KO’d by the rogue-nin. Still, that particular subject was a sore one for Tama. “I know,” she said quietly.

Then Shiri-tan came running out to meet her and Tama stopped thinking, as of now she had never seen Shiranai in casual clothes, and it caught her off-guard.

“Tama-chan! Sorry I’m late!”

“N-no, not at all, I just got here myself,” Tama was able to stammer out, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as she shifted under Shiranai’s gaze.

She blushed even harder when Ami-san mentioned something about Tama being moe, before leaving the two of them alone in the courtyard. At least as alone as she would dare leave the ruler of the nation and a kunoichi with the destructive capabilities of a medium-sized professional army.
After what seemed like an eternity of silence between the two blushing individuals, Shiranai finally mumbled, “…Um, uh…you look really nice, Tama-chan,” which caused Tama to blush even more, if that was even possible.

“You l-look really good too,” she managed to get out without stumbling over her own words. Then Shiranai asked Tama where she would like to go. Tama thought about it for a second before replying, “Actually, this is my first time in Raiden’s Eye. At least, the first time I can remember, according to my mom, I was only a baby when they came here last,” she stopped suddenly, I’m rambling! Gotta stop talking so much, he’ll think I never shut up. “S-so do you have any suggestions? Could you give me a-a tour, maybe?” she blushed again as she asked. Ah, now you’ve done it Tama, you should have said a specific location, not ask for the grand tour. He’s gonna think I’m indecisive! Ah, what do I do?!?

Thinking back to the information Masao gave her, she recalled something like shopping, eating, watching a movie. Were those where Shiranai would want to go? Maybe. If he seemed put-off by her request she would try to follow up with one of those. Maybe a movie? Yeah, that seemed safe.

WC: 922 TWC: 1329

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Shiranai’s heart quickened palpably, and he felt his face flush an even deeper shade of pink as Tama complimented him back. It was not that he was unused to being complimented – in fact, the Imperial Court was a roiling sea of flattery, pandering, and oftentimes blatant offers of flesh in exchange for favors or other largesse – but rather that it was Tama doing so, and if it were she, then her words were genuine. She was a firebrand and a troublemaker, but she was also pure of heart and intention, and that alone made her leagues more desirable than any scantily-dressed noble’s daughter thrust his way in hopes of hooking him for nefarious ends. In short, she was someone he could really say ”daisuki-desu” to and mean it with all of his being.

So caught up in his reverie was he that he missed the front half of what she was saying, but quickly figured out that she actually knew less than he did about the city, and frankly, most of his memories of the place were confined to the Red Palace and from when he was less than half his current age. Thankfully, she seemed open to simply taking things as they came, and conducting some exploration rather than sticking to the Palace.

“Ah! That sounds like a great idea, Tama-chan,” he said, smiling. “I have to admit, I don’t get out often…well, actually, since that rogue shinobi Enishi attacked me, I haven’t actually left the Palace at all. So I’d really love to go anyplace but here!” he said with a note of relief. “H-hey, if you don’t mind, I’d love to maybe go to the Mall and check things out there. I hear you can buy lots of cool clothes and gifts and even rare electronic items from Neo Konoha there. They have a big collection of manga and figurines…and they have a movie theater as well! It’s not too far of a walk from here,” he said, relishing the chance to do stereotypical teenage things. “Shall we head out?”

A bit later…​

The two teenagers exited out of the side door next to the Su-Zaku gate to avoid drawing too much attention to themselves, and quickly found themselves in the middle of the hustle of bustle of Raiden no Me. A city with slightly over a million inhabitants, it was still a growing metropolis, even if it was not as large as Port Cirrus or Kelmura to the southwest. Around the pair, commuters walked or pedaled bicycles briskly by, while food vendors with their hand-carts cried out to advertise their wares. Adjacent to the wall itself, vendors had set up tents and stands showcasing everything from carpets to handbags to pornography. The air was suffused with the smell of smoke, exhaust from steam trucks, dust, and of course, food. And because the pair were not accompanied by a large contingent of guards and staff, no one paid the two any attention.

Shiranai’s jaw dropped slightly at the sensory overload, and for a few seconds he merely gawked, both at the nonstop bustle, but also at the fact that he was not the center of attention. And he was clearly enjoying the anonymity. Realizing that he resembled a gasping fish, he chuckled with some embarrassment at Tama.

“Eheheh, sorry, it’s just, wow, this is already so cool! I know I sound a little lame, like some kind of bumpkin,” he said, somewhat sheepishly. “Well, er, the Mall I’ve been told is that way,” he said, pointing to a large structure a few blocks south that was topped with a shimmering glass dome.

Meanwhile​

“HQ, HQ, this is Eagle One, the birds have left the nest,” sounded a voice over the headset of General Gasai Yui, Captain-Commander of the Bakufuu Security Agency.

“Acknowledged. His Majesty and the shinobi girl are en route to the Akiyama Mall on foot. Make sure their route is cleared of all potential upsets and disturbances. Beggars, prostitutes, hoodlums, the like. Have tracking team alpha keep their distance, twenty meters at all times, and triangulate position with tracking teams beta and gamma,” said the woman into her microphone, as she folded her hands in front of her at her desk. Around her, the BSA’s logistics center in the basement of the Palace hummed with activity. The organization prided itself on being at least technologically on-par with the Kumo ANBU corps, and in fact had taken many lessons on organization and infrastructure from those shinobi when they were first organized. Within this base, they could track nearly anyone. “Do not let the Shogun out of your sight.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” sounded the voice over the radio.

As Shiranai and Tama walked toward the mall, the three tracking teams around them attempted to conceal their presence as best they could, despite the dark suits, sunglasses, and obvious bulges under their suit jackets from submachine-bolters.

At the Mall​

As Shiranai had predicted, the Mall was a three-story Mecca of everything a teenager (and frankly, most adults) could want under one roof. A building constructed with notable foreign influences, it was elegantly apportioned into storefronts on different tiers, each of them reachable by a newfangled device called the escalator, which seemed to be a staircase that moved it own stairs of its own accord. The roof was a brilliantly- shimmering glass dome with thousands of separate panels linked by a metal framework, and transmitted sunlight to the floors below.

Jewelry shops boasted gold, diamonds, and gemstones as large as a baby’s head, while clothing stores sold the latest in Kaminarijin fashion as well as foreign fashion and even some rather risqué new trends from the southern hemispheres. Notably, one of the stores sold a man’s clothing set that distinctly looked like the weird ensemble that the Main Branch Sennin wore, including the “stupid hat” as his wife called it. And one purveyor, called “Airisuke’s Secret,” sold exclusively sexy lingerie (Shiranai had to work hard not to stare at the window displays as he and Tama passed by). There were stores selling manga, anime, and rare figurines, and it turned out that Shiranai was also a bit of an otaku, as he pointed out to Tama the various series that he enjoyed reading in his spare time. Technology from Neo Konoha was prominently exhibited at a store called “The Sharper Picture”, which sold everything from nose-hair trimmers to ‘airsoft’ crossbolters to a vibrating bed that Shiranai and Tama briefly got to lay on before nearly passing out while drooling on themselves.

“Hey, I think those are the new films out right now,” said Shiranai, pointing to the theater marquee nearby as they passed by a “GameStopped” store. Posters advertised several choices. The first one was “Saving Private Rurou” and was an action film about the Bear-Marsh war, the other was called “My Little Donkey: Friendship is Magic” and seemed to be directed at the male over-40 crowd, and the last was titled “Zombies versus the Bakufuu” and was a horror film that also featured a romance subplot of all things.

“Do you want to see one of them together? I can get us tickets,” he said, hopefully.

 

[Suzuki Setsu]

Tama breathed a sigh of relief as Shiranai agreed to explore the area with her. She hadn’t been around the city yet, as that Kaguya kid had picked her up right at the station, leaving little time for exploration. She was surprised to hear that Shiranai hadn’t even been around the city, even though Raiden no Me was now his home, but secretly glad because exploring the city was now something they could experience together.

Raiden no Me seemed to be a very orderly and clean city, especially considering its size. Tama had expected to see some of the homeless, destitute, and otherwise disenfranchised somewhere in the city, even Kumogakure had its share of poor. But Raiden no Me was devoid of anything but happy and cheerful people. She didn’t pay it too much attention, after all she was with Shiri-tan, and he was the focus of her attention anyway. But despite that Tama just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

It didn’t help that every so often she would spot suspiciously dressed people out of the corner of her eye. Constant observation, huh, she thought to herself bitterly. It was embarrassing having one’s date watched by a multitude of people. The Bakufuu Security Agency’s people were obviously trying to be discreet, and for the most part were doing a very good job at hiding their presence, bulky overcoats and all, but Tama just couldn’t help but notice them. After all, she was a shinobi, and trained to always be aware of her surroundings. She had fun exploring the mall, the excited face of Shiri-tan as he described his favorite anime and manga was simply mesmerizing for the young kunoichi, but she wondered if Shiranai could tell that he was being constantly monitored, even on this date. He was a shinobi at one point, and even though he had lost the ability to use ninjutsu he still should have some of the abilities of a shinobi. Or maybe not. Tama was unconcerned about that, but rather was upset that Shiri-tan spent most of his time locked in a cage.

However, as they played in the mall, Tama was easily distracted from these heavier thoughts. Passing by “Airisuke’s Secret,” she noticed Shiranai trying very hard to ignore the items in the shop window. Wondering what could have caused Shiri-tan to act this way, Tama glanced over at the window to see the merchandise. When she saw what the store was selling, her face turned beet red, and she immediately thought that those were too embarrassing for anyone to wear. But a little after passing the store, a small part of her wondered what it would be like to wear one of those, and if Shiri-tan would be happy if he could see…. Face blushing ever brighter, Tama quickly dismissed such thoughts. What was she thinking?!

Thankfully, she had calmed down enough by the time they had reached the movie theater to consider her options for a movie. After all, Masao had included movie-going as a possible activity for the date. Tama blushed again, she really was on a date with Shiri-tan wasn’t she. Of the choices available, she ruled out the war flick, which threatened to bring up painful memories of her failure on the Raiden’s Breath. The scars on her chest from where Makoro had shot her with his crossbolter itched at that. Friendship is Magic?! There was cute, and then there was overkill. She had enough world experience to realize that friendship, while nice, wasn’t everything it was cracked up to be. The fact that she had very few people she could actually call friends had nothing to do with that. This left the zombie film as the only choice. Actually, Tama had never watched horror films, prior to joining the academy she had rarely gone to the movies due to practicing with the troupe, and after becoming a shinobi she had watched mainly kung-fu action movies for inspiration, her favorites included romance, but that was a secret. And the idea of watching something that had a clear distinction between what was supposed to be done and what was the wrong thing to do appealed to her. And she was a sucker for romantic stories.

“Hey Shiri-tan,” she stopped abruptly. She had accidently let her nickname for him slip. She quickly corrected herself, “um…Shiranai…san, how about Zombies vs. the Bakufuu? It sounds interesting.” She was hoping that he didn’t hear her stupid nickname for him, or at the very least think she was annoying because of her penchant of nicknaming people who were important to her, and people who seemed interesting to her.

WC: 776 TWC: 2105

[MFT]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Shiri-tan? I had no idea she considered me that close to her! gasped Shiranai (internally) as Tama let slip the cute nickname she had apparently coined for him without his knowledge. Maybe that means… Maybe there’s a chance she likes me back? Damn, that’s pretty awesome! Maybe I’ll get to confess to her soon! I should let her know I…

“…um, Shiranai-san…”

The girl quickly corrected herself, much to the young Shogun’s dismay. For a second, a subtly crestfallen expression clouded his face, but he quickly managed to cover it up with a smile at her movie suggestion.

“That’s great! I was about to suggest that one myself if you didn’t,” he said, beckoning her to come with him as they stood in line for tickets. After reaching the ticket office Shiranai reached into his pocket, withdrawing a wallet to take out some bills, when…

“Oh, young sir, there were two men in front of you who have already paid for your tickets. Enjoy your movie!” said the clerk, handing Shiranai two passes for “Zombies vs. The Bakufuu”. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as well as some consternation, but accepted the papers without complaint. It was obvious to see that even now they were being trailed by BSA agents, whether they liked it or not.

Clearly wishing to spend some of his own cash, Shiranai quickly purchased the two of them a relatively new foreign-style treat (kernels of corn heated until they “popped” and then seasoned with butter and salt), and they made their way into the darkened theater. Finding seats would prove to be somewhat more difficult than anticipated, since the only two open seats next to each other were all the way in the top row. Nevertheless, the view of the screen was acceptable, and soon they were watching the previews…

He’s Half-Nerd, Half-Shinobi, and ALL BADASS…

HAYATA SHIN VERSUS MAKOROZILLA

Featuring Arunodu Shuwoahzanehga as Raikage Hayata Shin!​

“Raikage-sama! That nefarious Lizard is climbing the Torre Celeste! He’s going to steal all of our women and hold hands with them! How lewd!” shouted an overblown Kurisutofah Waruken playing Takaki Masao.

“Nein! I vill be ze one to grope zem!” roared the actor playing Hayata Shin as he ripped his shirt open to reveal an incredibly muscular chest (with independently flexing pectorals), to the approving squeals of scantily-dressed kunoichi around him.

“GAOOOOOOOHHH!” roared the actor playing Makorozilla, who wore a large rubber dinosaur suit (the filmmakers had chosen to imply the familial connection between the two by having both Shin and Makorozilla wear coke-bottle glasses).

“Scheisse! I vill be late for ze volunteering at ze nursing home at zis rate! Curse you, lizard-uncle!” shouted Hayata Shin’s actor in a shot where he held onto a rope for dear life as the Torre Celeste teetered on its foundations.

As Shin started to punch the oversized lizard in the face in a subsequent scene, the screen faded out.

Coming next year to a theater near you…​

The actual movie now opened after the requisite “Feature Attraction” screen, fading into the title card, accompanied by a grand orchestral score. The plot was basic enough – Fire Country scientists had unleashed a virus upon the innocent civilians of Lightning Country which both reanimated the dead as well as turned the infected living into mindless shambling horrors with an appetite for brains. The twist was that the same virus also decimated the Imperial Army as well as the elite shinobi forces of Cloud, and that now it was up to two civilians from Raiden’s Eye to find the cure and bring some hope to humanity. There were plenty of bolter-fights, explosions, gory scenes of people being eaten by zombies, and of course, a great musical and dance number done by the cast near the end of the film.

During several scary scenes, Shiranai and Tama’s bodies pulled closer together, both affected by the horror on screen… As well as during the scene in which the main hero tenderly confessed his love to the heroine when faced with both of their imminent deaths by zombification. As she leapt into his arms and kissed the hero, Shiranai’s cheeks grew hot…

The credits rolled, and both of the teenagers exited the darkened theater, blinking as their eyes adjusted to the sudden light. From the upbeat spring in his step, Tama could tell that the Shogun had enjoyed the film immensely.

“You know, the actor playing the hero was actually supposed to play Hayata Shin in that movie in the preview, but he decided to do this one instead. It’s kind of a shame, since he’s a dead ringer for the real Hayata-sama,” chuckled Shiranai (ironically since he actually knew what Shin looked like in reality). “Actually, while we’re here, you want to grab some tako-yaki for lunch? We can eat it on the way to the park. I’ve always wanted to go there and sit on the grass and watch the people, and there’s a cool little observation tower nearby where we can watch the sunset. It’s not too long from the Mall, and uh, there’s you know, spots where we can get away from the agents following us…I mean, not that I would do anything pervy just because they weren’t watching us!” he blabbered nervously…

 

[Suzuki Setsu]

The ‘Makorozilla’ movie preview mainly irritated Tama. She wasn’t in it, and neither was Shiranai. THey both had been there and should have at least been mentioned. And the guy playing Megane-sama barely resembled the real thing. If you call “well they’re both wearing glasses” resembling. Probably one of those Maikaru Bei productions I hear everyone complaining about. All action and fanservice, and no plot. Thankfully, the actual movie was really good. Scary at the right parts, with just the right amount of tender, heartwarming feelings to make the romance feel authentic.

At some point during the movie, Tama realized that she had grabbed onto Shiranai’s hand. She didn’t feel inclined to let go, though, but it was enough to make her blush deeply. Thank goodness it’s dark, she thought to herself.

After the movie had ended Tama briefly wondered what it would be like if neither of them had any obligations. If Shiranai wasn’t the Shogun, if she wasn’t a shinobi. But wishful thinking wouldn’t help either of them. Shiranai it seemed, had enjoyed the movie very much. Tama wondered if it was for similar reasons. After exchanging some small talk about the movie itself, Shiranai asked if she wanted to get away to a place where the agents would be hard-pressed to find them. He then quickly stated that he wouldn’t do anything perverted, causing Tama to blush again. So she wasn’t the only one whose mind went in the gutter from time to time.

“Yes, that would be nice.” Tama then got as close as she could to Shiranai and wrapped herself around his arm. “And I can help hide us while we get there.” Using her mastery of photon jutsu, Tama manipulated the light around the pair so that the two of them would be invisible to standard passers-by. Tama blushed even more because in order to do this effectively she needed to be as close to Shiranai as humanly possible. “Lead the way,” she said quietly.

WC: 331 TWC: 2436

 

[Takaki Saeko]

God rot you, Shiranai, there you go again, running your mouth, thought the young Shogun to himself as he saw the pinkness spread across Tama’s cheeks in response to his suggestion. Now you’ve done it for sure. She’s going to think you’re some kind of deviant who wants to intertwine his fingers with hers! And at the very least, I’ve embarrassed her in public! Shit, what would Isaki-sama do in a situation like this?!

”Stick it in her pooper, of course,” sounded Kushin’s disturbingly clear voice in Shiranai’s consciousness.

What, what?! frowned Shiranai at Kushin, or rather, himself.

”Actually, I’m just trolling you. I really have no idea what to do in this circumstance and I have a terrible relationship with my wife. You’re on your own, kid,” shrugged the Kushin-figment before disappearing from Shiranai’s head.

Oh Shinbatsu!!! screamed the young Shogun internally…

“Yes, that would be nice,” said Tama softly, drawing herself in closer to Shiranai. “And I can help hide us while we get there,” she said, performing a cloaking jutsu that would render them invisible to both passers-by as well as the BSA.

“Tama-chan, that’s great…thanks!” he said with a mixture of relief as well as excitement. The sensation of her body’s heat was intoxicating as she pressed up against him (within reason, of course), and no doubt amplified by the fact that her jutsu was fueled by the combustion of chakra. Feeling hot in his face again, Shiranai nodded to her and began to move toward the exit.

Meanwhiile​

“What the hell do you mean they disappeared?!” growled General Yui into her radio.

“I swear, General! I had my eyes on them the entire time! They simply vanished out of existence!” sounded the agent’s panicked voice over the general’s headset.

“You fool, that means they used some sort of shinobi jutsu,” she sighed, facepalming. “Very well. All teams disperse and regroup at points Alpha Tango One and onwards. We’ll lie in wait at all of the romantic spots within five kilometers of the Mall. The fountains, the parks, the flower garden, and…Raiden-forbid, the love hotels. Now go!” hissed Yui, shaking her head. “I should have Ami-chan give you a stern talking-to, My Lord Shogun!” she muttered.

A bit later​

Confident that they had lost the agents tailing them, Tama and Shiranai popped back into the visible wavelengths in front of a gaily-painted tako-yaki stand on the outskirts of the main public park in the middle of Raiden’s Eye. Giggling at the fact that they had evaded the “adults,” the two teenagers shared an elated high-five as they stood in line to get their share of tender, deep-fried octopus bits in dough.

“Keep the change,” said Shiranai happily as he handed over a five-hundred yen note to the stand-keeper and accepted two skewers loaded end-to-end with the steaming, golden-brown balls. He handed one to Tama.

“Thank you, young man,” said the woman manning the counter, with a smile. “And if the Shogun ever gets out of the castle, tell him to come on by sometime!” she joked. Shiranai chuckled.

“I sure will,” he said, turning to walk alongside Tama. By now, the sun was beginning to dip closer to the horizon, but the park was still a bustle of activity as couples and families laid out on the grass on blankets and picnicked or played games. Wordlessly, Shiranai and his date enjoyed the steaming hot balls of flavor, laughing at each other when one of them bit off too much of a chunk and had to juggle the piece around in their mouths to prevent a burned palate. Eventually, he and Tama ducked into a path in the middle of a stand of trees, and continued through the woods into a secluded glade with a single bench fit for two. Behind the bench, and providing cover, was a large plum tree in full bloom.

“Ah, it was really fun to see that photon jutsu in action again,” he said, somewhat wistfully as he sat next to the panda-headed girl. “I’d forgotten how useful those techniques could really be. It’s really a use-it-or-lose-it sort of thing, I guess. These days I probably wouldn’t remember the seals for a basic clone jutsu,” he shrugged. “But I chose a different path, after all,” he said, glancing at the subtle, crater-like scars on his wrists.

Realizing that this might stir up some sensitive memories in his companion, he quickly placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Er, Tama-chan, I want you to know that I’m really grateful to you and Nemoto-chan. You guys saved my life. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t help you more, especially when you guys got…shot. I was kind of useless back there for a lot of reasons,” he sighed. “But it can’t be helped. Makoro is dead and we’re alive, and history will remember him as a guy in a rubber dinosaur suit,” he chuckled, somewhat lamely.

“I…I’m really glad you came to visit me,” he said, somewhat sheepishly. “I’d been hoping you would for a very long time, and this was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time… So I need to, as a man, be really honest with you. I’ve always thought you were cute, but after you rescued me in the Torre and brought me back to Raiden’s Eye, I started to really like you. You don’t have to give me an answer just yet, but I want to tell you this: Mochizuki Tama-chan, daisuki-desu!*” he said, barely staving off the urge to sweat and shake.

However…​

“Marchioness! We’ve found them!” sounded a male voice from the path that Tama and Shiranai had taken only minutes before. Before Tama could react further, two dark-suited BSA agents emerged into the glade, and promptly knelt before Shiranai. Right behind them, however, was an unexpected sight: a teenage girl around Shiranai’s age, accompanied by the Chancellor.

Ami was a familiar sight to the young kunoichi, but the other girl was not. Clad in a modern, foreign-inspired outfit, the girl was a picture of trendy fashion and boasted expensive-looking heels and bracelets to boot. With a slim body and a chest that put Tama’s to shame, her face was also a picture of classic and youthful beauty, and her hair was a rare natural blonde-golden color that fell across her back in a thick, straight river that would be the envy of any woman on the planet. Basically, she was Tanaka Hikari if the girl ever bothered to clean up and look presentable (ooh, burn).

“Anata, you had us all worried!” pouted the girl to Shiranai, totally ignoring Tama’s presence. “Please don’t disappear like that again. You had poor Yui-chan in conniptions. Now, let’s return to the palace where you’re not putting yourself at risk of death,” she said, grasping Shiranai by the hand. The Chancellor, sensing an imminent shitstorm, cleared her throat.

“My Lady, we have everything under control. In fact, His Majesty is under the protection of a shinobi at this moment. May I introduce Chuunin Mochizuki Tama of Kumogakure,” said Ami to the blonde. “And Chuunin Mochizuki, may I introduce the Marchioness Lee Karubin…”

“Please, Chancellor Tachibana, I hate that name. Call me ‘Kurumi’ instead,” said the blonde, rolling her eyes in distaste.

“Yes, My Lady. In any case, Marchioness Kurumi here is the daughter of Marquis Lee Kwan Yew, president of the Council of Nobles…and the fiancée of his Majesty Shogun Shiranai vi Kaminari.”

To Be Continued...

ED track: "Days of Dash" by Suzuki Konomi​

* = "daisuki-desu" roughly translates to "I really like you" and is a common phrase used to express romantic interest (for those of you who have no familiarity with Japanese

And this ends the mission! A confession, the introduction of a beautiful rival, and the drama of high society! I should've been a shoujo manga writer... Anyway, the drama will continue later, guaranteed. For now, make the exit post(s) and request payment!

 

[Suzuki Setsu]

Tama giggled at the shop vendor's quip about the Shogun ever leaving the castle, If only he knew. But he didn't, and no one else did either. It was a secret between the two of them. And as far as Tama was concerned, it could stay that way forever.

And then time stopped, Shiri-tan turned to her. And his words blotted out all possible thought. "Tama-chan, daisuki-desu."

She tried to respond, "Um, actually Shiri-tan, I, I-," but before she could get the words out, to reveal the feelings that she had for him, the moment was gone. Two uniformed BSA agents sprang from hiding and knelt before Shiranai. Instantly, Tama was between them and the shogun. Protectively, almost possessively so.

However, Ami-san and Ms. Frizzle? No wait, she's not "frizzly" enough, Tama thought to herself. Still, the resemblance was uncanny. Tama was incensed by her presence, and by her intimate address of Shiri-tan. And then the bomb was dropped, this noble girl was the fiancee of the Shogun. What the heck?!? Who the hell decided that all of a sudden! Tama thought to herself. Her heart, which had been pleasantly unsettled by Shiranai's confession only moments ago, became even more shaken.

"It is nice to meet you, Marchioness," Tama said evenly, "As for escorting Shiranai-dono on his return, none of you are necessary." With that, she turned to Shiranai, and faster than the noble group could react, scooped the Shogun into her arms (princess-style, of course) with chakra-augmented strength and leaped into the nearest tree, and from there to the nearest rooftop, making her way towards the palace, using skillful manipulation of the wind to guide and assist her jumps.

At the palace, Tama alighted atop a parapet in front of an amazed guard, who soon fell fast asleep thanks to a swift use of genjutsu on Tama's part. After setting the Shogun down, she took a moment to think about what had just transpired. She first realized that she was probably rude to a very powerful noble, then she blushed as she realized that she had been carrying Shiri-tan close to her chest for a significant amount of time. Her face started burning with embarrassment once again.

I don't know when I'll be able to see him again, I should respond while I can, she thought. "Sh-Shiri-tan, I, I feel the same way. Ever since that day on the train. And again on the Torre. I've always been thinking about you." Tama paused for a minute, wondering if he thought that her words were fake. The mood was gone, and Tama felt pressured by that other girl, and her apparent intimacy with Shiranai was bothersome to her. She quietly asked, "Is it okay if I call you Shiri-tan? If you don't like it I can stop." Tama could hear footsteps hurrying up the tower steps. So she would wait for Shiranai's answer then jump off and fall with style down to the ground and make her way back to Kumogakure.

WC: 500 TWC: 2936

[MFT]
[Mission Exit]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

“Tama-chan, I…I’m really glad you feel the same!” exclaimed the Shogun in genuine excitement as Tama returned her answer to his confession. It was a total defiance of every romantic trope in the book – two teenagers who were honest with their feelings and in turn happy with each other… But the moment was not to last, as Tama quickly became aware of the sound of footfalls coming up the steps nearby. And as she leapt off the edge, their date was over. “You can totally call me Shiri-tan!!” he shouted after her, before the door burst open, revealing a contingent of armed guards, followed by the Marchioness Kurumi, who had a special distaste for her actual name.

“Anata," she began, fixing a glare in his direction. The guards, seeing nothing otherwise amiss, filed out of the room. “…we have to talk. Now.”

A week later…​

<i></i>

A note was quickly dispatched to the Mochizuki household again, this one also addressed to the “Hand” in a most mysterious and unsettling fashion.

This message is solely for the Hand of the Sennin

Tama, Tama, Tama…

Do you watch B-Span*? I certainly do.

Today I witnessed the Council of Nobles eliminate a hundred-million-yen budget increase for Kumo for next year. Didn’t I send you to Raiden’s Eye to get that budget increase? What happened on your date with the Shogun? Did you kick him in the dick?

Whatever, I’m not interested in excuses. Report to the Legation for immediate brushing. And use shampoo.

-T. Masao, Sennin

*: B-Span is a channel available on Lightning Country Television which provides real-time coverage of the proceedings of the Council of Nobles