[PRIVATE] From mental descension to Social ascension: Daigo's therapy sessions

[Daigo]

Hello to all and to whom this may concern. Please don’t lock this topic as I’ll be using this thread for all future mental health self explorative accounts regarding this character. Note to self: You could use this thread for foreshadowing purposes before or after a mission. You could and should use this thread for self reflection either before or after both missions, events, and Rps. Lastly, you could just use this thread for training posts. Then link it here to receive your rewards.

Also, think about making a description of an office and keep a faceless NPC since the focus is on the character and not at all on the counselor. Daigo's main issues extend fro sociopathy, anxiety, and depression. More ideas from the character's conception are found here. This character will act out semi regularly outside of the village by finding enemies to fight and or kill so he will feel morally justified in hurting those people. Who's gonna care if a kidnapper gets abducted, or a murderer gets killed? If bandits get robbed? If pirates have their ships stolen, etc.

I want to portray a person who really wants to fit in with society and develop bonds with others, but has a difficult time of doing so internally. He will be manipulative and deceitful in terms of pretending to be a normal guy. That is unavoidable, but he will also be medicated and seeking psychotherapy as well. He wants to be a better man...or rather... he wanted to appear to be a better man so he could manipulate and deceive people more easily. Antisocial, what can ya do about it.

To be edited later on...

 

[Daigo]

The clock ticked on the wall and with every tiny tick it made, the sound somehow seemed to both deepen and amplify. Over a short amount of time, it gradually changed from a barely audible tick to a loud thump, almost as if it had changed to a giant’s footsteps. This was just the beginning of Daigo’s anxiety bubbling to the surface. By now it was a standard trick his mind played on him once a week every week for as long as he could remember. Amongst his many issues, sociopathy, anxiety, and mild depression were by far the worst three afflictions he had. These afflictions had ruled over his life for far too long until he made the right choice to speak with someone about it. The hallway was empty, which was how he liked it. He was no longer embarrassed by his regular visits to a professional counselor, but he still preferred his privacy. Before long he was called into the office and felt his anxiety spike just a tad bit.

He took a deep breath before entering the room, then his autopilot kicked in for him. “Hello, there? How are you doing today? That’s great to hear. Oh, I’m fine thank you for asking.” he said. It was something his mom had taught him. Being a loner and an introvert, Daigo often found socializing with others like his family and close friends to be very exhausting and emotionally draining. He usually kept his answers short, sweet, and to the point with everyone including this consular. Daigo was prompted to begin discussing his day or to simply speak what was on his mind, but the relationship was still newish so Daigo had a hard time opening up. There he sat, trying to think of something worthwhile to say, while also trying now to self sabotage his new appointments with liars and deception.

That was always easier for him. To pretend to be a good man so that others would treat him as such. He observed very long ago that people are more receptive to good men than they are to bad men. Every person had social roles that they lived by, but Daigo had been trying to be a better man in honor of his fallen family member Daisuke. It was much more difficult than he had originally intended to be, but at least he was trying, or so he told the counselor. Daigo didn’t feel completely there in the room. His mind was elsewhere. If one were to ask him about any tiny details regarding his session, he couldn’t name many and that was ok for now because for the first time in a long time, he took the first step and admitted to his issues. When the session ended, he left feeling no better or worse than he did before he arrived. Progress was what he had hoped to gain or the next few sessions for which he had made arrangements.

[mft] WC: 490

ooc: this is just to stretch your legs and dust off your keyboard. Do much better than this. try to convey more emotional turmoil as your character progresses in life and missions / events / rps.

 

[Daigo]

"It was strange, doctor. I have never experienced anything like what I did while in the canine realm. It was unreal. Like a dream somewhat. I'll start from the beginning, ok?" he said as he sat down with permission. Daigo didn't waste any time beating around the bush. He often preferred to skip the pleasantries anyway.

Some time ago...

A thunder storm was brewing high above Daigo’s fortress hidden deep with the forest in the canine world. Such inclement weather was quite common in this part of the world. In fact, he rather enjoyed it. The claps of thunder, the light drumming of raindrops on the tile roofs, the refreshing smell of light moisture in the air. These were but an few perks to living in this location. Deep in beneath the surface of Daigo’s fortress was a very large room equipped for scientific experiments, research, or teaching, or for the manufacture of drugs or chemicals. His laboratory branched off into an separate bed room and kitchen area for him to eat and sleep after an long days work. In the far side on the room as the head of the outer path protruding from the wall with its mouth ajar.

It even included an morgue, from which he opened the draw and pulled out his first cadaver...which he took from his previous mission involving some bandits. He placed the first cadaver onto an wheeled stretcher and transported the body over to the outer paths head and began the ritual. He sat on the ground and began to channel his chakra into the outer path. His mind was calm and his spirit felt lighter and lighter was the ritual continued. The outer path began to suck the chakra from Daigo’s very being. A crimson aura outlined the seemingly endless number of black tendrils that emerged from Daigo’s very pores. The experience was unreal. It was like nothing he had ever encountered. Stabbing through the pores of the cadaver, the tendrils grew larger as they continued to entangle and tether its energy into the body on the wheeled stretcher.

What Daigo experienced next was something unexpected. It was like he was under a genjutsu. He was witnessing the last moments of the cadavers life. Their thoughts, their emotions, their physical pain, everything all at once. It was like being born again only to experience a overload of all one’s senses due to over stimulation from the environment. The exact opposite of sensory deprivation. Daigo saw through the cadaver’s eyes during their last moments. He feel the hunger in their belly, the frustration they felt for having to steal just to survive, the pain in their leg from the arrow which had penetrated their skin and muscles. Daigo fell back to the floor gasping as the outer path continued to suck out his chakra.

The cadaver began to levitate off of the wheeled stretcher and glow in an greenish blue aura. The body’s complication started to return, its hair and scalp became moist, their chipped and withered nails became clean and mended, old wounds became healed and color returned to their fame. It was as if the body was being reanimated; forever frozen in time at its perk condition. Whatever illnesses or decay it previous housed within itself, whatever physical or mental disadvantages the body previously had, were no more. It was as though lord Raiden himself had blessed the body. Just beneath the surface, the bones, organs, muscles, and skin were all being fortified after their repair. Microscopic gray cell-like structured chakra orbs began to form in all two hundred and fifty six chakra points through the cadaver’s body as well as in its central and peripheral nervous systems. These would serve as how Daigo was later able to control their very actions.

The experience was nearly over. Daigo’s mind felt as though it was flowing through knowledge; as though it was floating off the ground; as though it was becoming more and more inundated with power. So much so that he could barely kept his head above the rushing flow of power. The outer path slowly closed it’s mouth as the body drifted back down onto the wheeled stretcher. The tendrils slowly snapped off of and released their entanglement from the body and returned deep into Daigo’s soul. The technique left him more than exhausted and in an near catatonic state. At that very moment, his vision split. It was as if he was watching the exact same scene from an play, but from two different angles. It was the most off putting experience he had ever encountered.When he tried to move his kaguyan body, the cadaver moved instead. Daigo knew this was going to take a while to get used to, but it was well worth the wait.

Present day...

He finished his session then trekked over to the lobby area of the hospital. He went through all the proper channels to have his new path registered to him. The last thing he needed was to get arrested.

[mft] WC: 742

 

[Daigo]

In unusual fashion, Daigo had decided to skip his appointment with his therapist for the day in lieu of what he believed to be more beneficial. Within the Canine contract world sat his isolated villa-like fortress.

Entering his personal morgue, Saburo would notice that the ceiling was higher than the average room. This was because of the very large strange looking statute that protruded from the wall. While Saburo, along with most people, would have no idea what they were actually staring at, the boss knew the truth. the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path. This Statue takes the form of a blindfolded and shackled, giant humanoid demon, and protrudes from the ground in such a way that only it's torso and arms are visible above the ground. He was aware of the rumors, how the statue could suck out the lifeforce of weaker beings, and knew it to be true. After all, it happened to him.

He said, "Behold, my morgue. Here is where you’ll see the resurrection take place. Please have a seat on the couch next to the door. Make sure to stand back. And above all else, Do not tell anyone what you see here today or else...my morgue will become a little more crowded...with more people wanting to see how I do it. I don’t even have a ticket booth. " Walking over to the drawers, he pull one out only to reveal the body of a young man. An eighteen year old male, weighing around one hundred and fifty pounds laid flat on that table. The body was completely disfigured from the cause of death and now it was Daigo time to put such a good man to use once again.

"After this I’ll help you obtain even greater strength. Now stand back" he said as he used his powers of gravity to lift the cadaver, place it on a stretcher, and wheel it over in front of the statue. Daigo then hopped on top of the head and sat with his legs crossed. He put his hands together while bowing his head, and focused enough chakra to awaken the statue. While it didn’t move or make a sound, the mouth gain to seep out the black chakra outlined with a dark bluish tint. His concentration was unrelenting. His ambition unmatched, and his devotion unwavered. The dark chakra gathered around and engulfed the body in what seemed to be a demonic flame similar in appearance to an Uchiha’s Amaterasu technique. He was a bit more nervous than usual. The last time he had performed this technique, the experience was something he wasn’t sure he could handle again. However he also knew that one couldn’t make any breakfast without cracking an few eggs first. This was something Daigo would just have to face over and over again.

The view was spectacular to be sure. While the flames gave off no heat signature, it did give off a chilling presence. Daigo concentrated even harder as the body began to heal. The color began to return to the cheeks, the skin grew lighter, the body grew warmer, the flesh reversed in decay and instead began to flourish. The dirt and rot from the corpses degenerated into nothingness and gave the corpse the appearance that the person was somehow still alive, thought the organs would suggest otherwise. As with the first body, Microscopic gray cell-like structured chakra orbs began to form in all two hundred and fifty six chakra points through the cadaver’s body as well as in its central and peripheral nervous systems. He felt his original body begin to weaken. Almost as if he was fainting from low blood sugar or dehydration. Strangely, it never felt like his soul was splitting, but rather his body was weakening while his mind was expanding.

After a few minutes, Daigo opened his eyes to reveal his crimson rinnegan and jumped down from the statue’s head. The flames and chakra ceased and the statue slept. Placing the body back on the stretcher, he moved back over to the morgue and summoned small and thin black rods made from his own chakra. He diligently placed the very thin rods into the corpse’s central nervous system, which integrates the information that it receives from, and coordinates the activity of, all parts of the bodies, within the brain and spinal cord. He then placed small rods into the peripheral nervous system, which connects the central nervous system (CNS) to the limbs and organs of the body. By doing this process, he found it slightly more easier to control the body. After a few minutes, Daigo focused hard in order to get the corpse to rise up from the table and say, "Hello, partner"

[mft] WC: 750

 

[Daigo]

[Prior to solo mission]

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Daigo found himself unmotivated to move out of bed. It was gonna be one of those days. One of those days where his body would feel too heavy to move, one of those days where he only wanted to sleep endlessly; one of those days where he would get enjoyment from the activities that he used to enjoy; one of those days where his emotions were bland or somehow nullified. A mildly depressive day that he never looked forward to, but always prepared for in his mind. For someone like Daigo, powering through the depressive mood was not an easy task. Besides medication, the only thing that helped him feel better was accomplishing tasks both large and small as well as reading inspirational quotes. By doing these things, he often felt as though he was ever so slowly building both confidence and momentum with each small goal he managed to accomplish. Today would be no different.

As usual, he gave himself an small pep talk. He often said out loud things that he didn’t usually hear from other people. "You are smart. You are dedicated. You are unique. You are deserving of...this is such bullshit." he said, rising out of bed. Willing myself out of this funk used to work wonders, but now he was at an place in his life where medication provided him with reasonable assistance. It had been a while since his last visit with his therapist and there was no doubt that it would be an long grueling session in which his feelings would be explored and his past memories would be recalled to explain current issues. A quick shit, shower, and shave later, Daigo was practically out the door when he spotted his medication on the counter. Part of him wanted to leave without it, but he knew better than that. Watching other people learn their lessons and choosing not to follow in their footsteps was kind of Daigo’s thing. He popped the top off the bottle, took the appropriate dosage, then made his way towards the hospital.

[MFT] WC: 345

 

[Daigo]

Walking into his therapist's office, Daigo could only think about how shitty he had been feeling for the last few weeks. Nothing was wrong however, at least not from his perspective. His rent was paid, his water bill was accurate, his dating life needed more work, but overall he did his best to achieve his goals. The psychology expert suggested that there was some deep seeded emotion hidden under the surface of Daigo's cool exterior. He scoffed of course, not believing much of what the therapist was saying. It had less to do with the fact of Daigo choosing not to be vulnerable in front of the new doctor and more so about his denial regarding his mental and emotional status.

He sat back in his comfy chair and closed his eyes as instructed. Feeling nervous and the need to deflect, he decided to make an insinuating statement about the therapist's intentions and warned them not to try anything funny. Naturally, the joke fell flat as the therapist had begun to grow weary of Daigo's deflective tactics. Being asked to focus, Daigo sat back and concentrated on the sound of the therapist's voice. They spoke in a calm relaxing manner. both slow and clear. For a moment, it almost felt like he was being placed under an audio genjutsu. He began to see silhouettes of past events, former friends and those he should have been able to call loved ones. The anxiety began to build up in him as he continued to watch past events replay themselves out. He began breathing faster and deeper as the show went on...to be continued.

[mft] WC: 270

 

[Daigo]

"Hello, doctor. It’s been sometime, I know. I’ve been busy. Where should I start, I wonder? I never know where I should start when it’s time to reflect on my actions. Uhh? Ok, I’ll just spit ball random events since our last session, is that cool? Ok, I split my mind yet again." he announced as he sat his belongings on the floor and took an sit. Daigo used to take forever and a day to open up in therapy, but for him to do so more frequently and with such speed was proof that, at least for him, therapy was working. The memory came flooding back to him as he was under an visual genjutsu.

The combination of spring showers with overcast was Daigo prime choice of weather, so it made the most sense for him to choose an area known for such weather to be his new home. A loud clap of thunder roared while an bolt of lightning ripped through the sky above Daigo’s fortress, a large currently unnamed domain located somewhere within the canine contract realm. A place nearly forgotten, yet still an marvelous setting of modern technological features. The water drops slowly fell down from the heavens towards the earth’s surface as he trekked through the courtyard and into the loving shelter of the insulated dwelling. He summoned an shadow clone to make the proper preparations while Daigo headed to the laboratory on one of the many sublevels with this masterpiece of an dwelling. The shadow clone, meanwhile, entered the laboratory towards the back where the mortuary cabinets were located. He pulled out an cabinet which housed one of the cadavers Daigo had claimed for himself.

He placed the decaying corpse on the nearby gurney and wheeled it over towards the far wall which had no other equipment nor furniture near it. Only the protruding face of the outer path occupied the this stone wall from ceiling to floor and nearly from one side of the wall to the other. How the path had managed to fit its face in the room was an mystery for another day. The procedure as fairly routine by now for the kaguya. The real Daigo entered the room accompanied by his cerberus partner while the clone fetched a prayer rug from the corner of the room. Unrolling it as if he was an vip at an red carpet event, Daigo took an seat and began focusing his chakra.

It started off the same way every time he attempted this action. He closed his eyes while sitting in a comfortable position and focused on building up his chakra. As he did for his previous paths, Daigo made sure to create microscopic gray cell-like structured chakra orbs that would form in all two hundred and fifty six chakra points through the cadaver’s body as well as in its central and peripheral nervous systems. Holding the proper hand sign and keeping his breathing partner under control helped immensely as he activated the demon on the wall. The outer path’s mouth opened up and seeped out a dark mist-like aura that covered the cadaver. Daigo could feel his chakra slowly flow from the pores on his body into the pores of the cadaver. New life was being placed into the cadaver’s care. It’s skin began to restore itself to back when it was in its prime state. The dirt and dead skin were wiped away as the shadow clone began cleaning off the soon to be new body. He washed it’s hair, trimmed its nails, bathed it and scrubbed every inch of it before brushing its teeth, and fetching some clothes for it. The body slowly floated and rolled repeatedly as if it was an rotisserie chicken ,air drying in the process. He was uncertain of how long the procedure took, but he still felt as drained as ever. So much so that he could barely stand. He laid down on the rug and sleep while the new path was gently placed back down on the gurney and dressed by the clone. After a half hour the body rose with an crimson rinnegan to greet it when the path looked in the mirror.

“This will do nicely”, the path said.

[MFT] WC: 707

 

[Daigo]

Going into battle unprepared was something Daigo tried to avoid at all costs. He never likes being unprepared because he was never good at thinking on his feet. As an child, he often got nervous and just lost focus due to overthinking every little situation during field training. After years of falling into the same situation, he thought it best to plan ahead of time and come up with flexible strategies that might work in any battle situation he might find himself in. Being an kaguya meant that he could create any weapon depending on the challenge that faced him. It was a added bonus that he keep an respirator on him to avoid the inhaling of poison. Now that he was been promoted to Anbu mempo, these skills and mental qwark's would become more essential than ever. Of course, he could tell any of this to his counselor sitting across from him. Instead, he added on to his cover story as an member of the Kumo courier corps. He wove together an story about delivering some important mail to some imaginary client.

He sat back in the chair feeling nervous, but took an deep breath like he had been instructed to earlier in the session. The repertoire between them was decent enough though, Daigo was also being dishonest due to the nature of his work. He sometimes wondered if this was all he could manage between his busy work schedule. His counselor suggested trying to socialize more and that’s what he intended to do.

MFT WC: 255 next topic is here

 

[Daigo]

"Any regrets?" asked the therapist, as they sat back in their chair and prepared to listen. Daigo's answers would be both short and direct given the secrecy of his work and his very selectively social nature.

"Not really, no. I did my job and completed my mission to the best of my ability. Those sailors had been warned about smuggling in drugs from the ports. They thought they didn't have to play by the rules because they falsely believed they had power. They thought they could not or would not be threatened or harmed. They thought wrong.", Daigo said as he too sat back in his chair getting comfortable. Since Daigo's arrival in kumogakure, he felt like he had not been making much progress in his career. Historically, he had been a black smith, a medical practitioner, a privateer, and a shipping mogul. Presently, he was a chuunin ranked kumo courier and covertly, an anbu mempo. His life thus far had been filled with unsteady work and conflicting ethical boundaries being crossed. He resolved to buckle down and focus on improving his skills in the field. Especially since his methods were being called into question.

"When you...perform your duties, does it make you feel power? Like you are in control?", the doctor asked. The patient would only ever be truthful.

"My life is fine. I'm a courier for the Kumogakure courier service. I make decent money, I have good benefits. Yes, my cousin was the main reason I came here and I miss him, but I'm fine. I just...I have trouble building connections with people and no, I don't feel powerful when I beat on...I mean, when I use a certain amount of force on criminals that would dare to harm this great village. If they did their business outside of the village and no kill on sight orders nor bounties ever surfaced, then I would not care one bit.", he said. This was something he craved from day one. His bloodline limit was ferocious on it's own, but when combined with discipline, patience, and learned skills, it became a form of ultimate defense. His abilities and bloodline limit would allow him to shake off just about half the damage that was done to him. He even worked on his movement to ensure that he was hard to hit.

Purpose?

Daigo sought this his entire life. It's hard to have this question answered. The protection of kumogakure by any means seemed reasonable enough. Maybe doing a service for others would provide him with clarity.

[mft] WC: 426

 

[Daigo]

Part two:

Daigo recalled an event which occurred during his sabbatical after his cousin's death. This is the story Daigo told when he was asked if he believed in the after life by his therapist.
-------------
The thick blanket of night sky peppered with the shining stars covered all of Lightning country comfortably. While all seemed well, the animals in the area could sense a unnatural enemy approaching.The rivers which served as a watering hole for the local animals remained abandoned on that night. The trees swayed back and forth as their branches crossed paths. It was as if the trees themselves were waving their branches to warn others that danger was near and that they should turn back. The gentle breeze picked up into an gale of wind. The deer abandoned their natural habitat and took refuge in caves along with bears. The rabbits remained in their burrows and even rolled medium sized stones in front of the entrance. The foxes snuck into the hen houses, not to eat the hens, but to protect their would be meal from whatever was soon arriving. The birds began to fly in uncoordinated patterns, the wolves remained in their dens despite their hunger, the peaceful livestock nearly began an stampede, the tigers held their cubs close to them and remained hypervigilant, and the owls nearly broke their necks as they continuously looked around asking, “Who? Who? Who is coming?”

The humans on the other hand could tell something was amiss and managed to reach out before hiding themselves away as well. Though they were distant, the people of that De Cevitate Attonbitus region knew how to communicate from long distances for weather reports and such other news. The population were mostly made up of retired shinobi, after all. Rather than get involved themselves, they would simply allow the younger generation try their hand. There were an variety of methods they used to stay in touch with one another which included but wasn’t limited to: the use of pigeon messengers, various signals like flag, lamp, mirror, and smoke, or even radios. Getting the word out was never an real problem in this region. Their communication systems extended even from the great capital city and the sister port cities to the village hidden in the clouds. There was an special channel via radio which was used by former shinobi if ever they needed assistance while in retirement. Deep within the Sileo Tempestas, the message was heard loud and clear by an certain individual.

The Sileo’s main quarters were not a small place by any means, but traversing the facility was easy for those who reached the central complex and knew their way. A pair of double doors led to a massive central floor with Cloud banners hanging in the hall. A central stairway led to the Central Command and split off to the left and right to two balconies which led to the barracks and training facilities, opposite of each other. On the first floor was the logistical command beneath the barracks, and a cafeteria on the bottom right level. The central Corridor of the Sileo Tempestas was fairly quiet at this hour, as not many shinobi mingle here unless the entire branch gathered for an assembly.

Daigo had only recently become an active member of the anbu again. He previously took a long sabbatical to clear his mind after his cousin Daisuke’s death. He was gone for two years, three months, and two weeks exactly. In that amount of time, Daigo managed to hone his skills in the training area to near perfection as well as successful take over Daisuke’s estate including all of its affects like the merchant company. He also managed to get a job as a member of the kumo courier corps in the main branch for appearances sake. Daigo managed to accomplish a lot during his return to Kumogakure. He even became friends with Daisuke’s pet baboon. He was still withdrawn and so times isolative, but he was much better at socializing with others by now. Now, when he wasn’t delivering parcels, he was manning his shift within the Sileo doing typical anbu stuff. Mostly filing away reports and whatnot.


WC: 1,232 from Previous topic: https://ninpocho.com/viewtopic.php?p=316734#p316734

Current topic WC: +573 equals 1,805 total WC.

Kinjutsu guidelines: https://www.ninpocho.com/viewtopic.php?p=43303#p43303

Jinchuuriki: https://www.ninpocho.com/viewtopic.php?p=276270#p276270