It had been a few days since the student tournament had ended and still the uncertainty around his loss weighed with heavy burden on his mind. It was true that he had understood and knew of Yaboi's strategy, even understanding how to counter it and yet he didn't bother to do so. Raising his hand upwards, his fingertips would dance between the rays of light that managed to pierce the forest canopy above him. His eyes were entranced as his thoughts continued to flow through his mind, some being discarded by better thinking while others only solidfying their influence over him. Diverting his eyes away from the light and his hand, Kouza's pupils would rest upon his blade which was positioned upright against a large boulder. It would be a narrowing of his eyes that seemed to veil himself within a cocoon of second guessing thoughts. He was still quite young and his inexperience with the facts of the world had created a unique environment where he was able to define it all for himself, even if doing so caused him to make bad decisions. This is why he wondered if he had done proper by accepting that blade and entering the tournament with something he had yet to master.
"Why...why...why"
That seemed to always be the defining question towards himself after he had done what had to be done, was why. It began to make sense to him that the very notion of questioning his decisions must of meant that there was self-doubt in his actions, a thought that shook him slightly. Raising his body up and throwing both legs over the large tree branch which he had been reclined on, Kouza's eyes solely stared at his blade. It was possible that he had been looking at this completely wrong and that if he was to be that stepping stone than why settle for just being a simple rock. Landing on the ground with a slight squat to brace the impact, Kouza would walk up to his large weapon and place a hand along it's handle.
"The larger the stone, the less he'll have to contend with...so I have to evolve as he does."
Picking up the blade, he'd press it's blunt side against his shoulder noting the weight on his muscles was becoming far more lenient. Turning back to the tree's trunk, his eyes looked at the deep lacerations along the trunk's bark while tightening his grip. That was what he would have to do, become a stepping stone that varied depending on the path he took. This would mean Kouza himself would have to stop being mundane and put everything he had into being the perfect shadow.
"Never again"