It wasn't that Makoto was deliberately avoiding his family. It really wasn't. He wasn't trying to evade his brothers until he figured out exactly how to yell at them (which he had to do before reporting in on his mission; he wasn't sure who else other than Kanashimi was authorized to know where he was and why), he wasn't trying to evade his new disturbing cousin, he certainly wasn't trying to evade his mother. It was just that the library had always been his favourite place anyway. Plus he had all these new elements at his fingertips; he really ought to study them.
He managed several weeks of not-avoiding before he decided he might get in actual trouble for not reporting in yet and needed to have it out with one brother, at least. Hell, it might've been easier to do this one at a time. Then they couldn't gang up on him with the 'it was for your own good' spiel.'
You could just decide not to be mad at them, the phoenix suggested, but the idea lacked conviction. It knew how unsuccessful it would be in the attempt. They really did do it with the best of intentions.
They are emphatically not allowed to withhold information about me, from me, he snapped back. If it were perhaps only until I were old enough--all right, maybe. But I have been old enough for years and in no way have they at any point attempted to tell me. So no, I will not just decide to let them off the hook.
And the bird let it go, because arguing with him about this is bound to be futile.
He collared a family servant, who helpfully pointed him in Kanashimi's direction. The training area of the weapon storehouse, of course. The most private, flat open space their family had access to. Hopefully he was alone.
Hope, Makoto decided upon getting there, was for fools and small children.
Kanashimi was not only not alone, but their (annoying) new cousin was there with him, along with Saito (hovering slightly out of what must have been range of that aura).
Makoto normally wouldn't have cared about Saito being intimidated by anyone or anything, but hey. He was the one here to do the intimidating and yelling, thank you very much.
Try your new aura, the phoenix suggested.
New aura? He reached where the pressure aura would have been and...there was something else. It didn't seem like it would dump drawbacks on enemies, but instead it felt...protective. Focusing. Not the sort of thing he would ussually associate himself with, but, well...
The effect was near-instant as he drew within range. He'd never gotten any visual cue that someone was under his pressure aura previously, but he'd always been able to tell and to single out targets to be exempted or dropped into it. This aura was similar in that way. He plucked his brothers out as 'targets' of the beneficial soothing sensation of the aura, and Saito's back immediately straightened.
Kanashimi turned too, giving him a wordless nod. He had to swallow his anger briefly--they were definitely not having this fight in front of the man with the snake on his shoulder.
Plus there was clearly already an argument in progress.
Tatsuya turned when silence fell and took stock of him there. Did he feel cornered, with all three of them there? He ought to.
Instead though, he grinned. A second later he realized how tense Kanashimi had gotten.
What the hell was that about?
"Ah, good! All three of you are here." Tatsuya clapped. "This must be as good a time as any for that match, then? Considering your...conflicting schedules."
That sounded like it had been an excuse. Moreover, one that he clearly had not bought.
Come to think, why was Kanashimi handling the verbal of this confrontation for their side, anyway? How was he not affected by that blasted aura?
But of course, Saito--much more of a smooth talker at any time, and now, with whatever Makoto's aura did, able to be so again--took over.
"Not really a good time at all, I'm afraid!" Saito chirped. Working around, 'if you stay much longer my twin is going to try and punch a hole through your head.' "I'm afraid we have some things to discuss. Maybe try to schedule something, instead of springing it on us whenever we're all in the same room?"
From anyone else that tone and wording would have sounded condescending. From Saito, it actually managed to be somewhat guilt-inducing.
In most. There was a bit of guilt, maybe, but Tatsuya's main reaction seemed to be surprise, of the 'since when did you have a spine?' variety.
"All right..." he said slowly, still giving Saito a strange look. Was he just not used to people overcoming his aura, even with help? Or had he come to some strange conclusion about the three of them? "Let me know when to schedule it, then. When you come to something that works out for all three of you, of course."
Kanashimi didn't so much as twitch in agitation, despite the tension in his shoulders still. Instead, he just inclined his head, and then turned away from Tatsuya, toward Makoto.
A clear dismissal, if ever there was one.
The snake on Tatsuya's shoulder poked its head up and seemed to say something into his ear. He emitted a sigh, then tilted his head toward Kanashimi in return, and made a graceful exit.
Leaving the three of them alone, and Makoto free to yell at his brothers. He pulled back his aura to himself, not wanting them to be focused while he was chewing them out.
He'd thought out a lot of different ways to open this conversation. Ultimately though, there was really only one good way to handle the both of them at once.
Saito was opening his mouth, probably to say something about how they hadn't seen much of each other since he got back, but Makoto beat him to the opener.
"I had the most interesting experience in Sand," he said, keeping his tone light. Suspiciously friendly and light, really. "Would you like to know what it was? Of course you would. You see, well..."
He flung his hand out and pulled on the still-unfamiliar sensation of elemental chakra--in this case, fire. A small fireball hovered just above his hand in the shape of no actual jutsu.
"I would explain how this happened," he continued with a bit of a bite in his voice, "but, well, I'm fairly sure you both know already...what I want to know is..." He extinguished the fire by snapping his hand into a fist, for effect. "When the hell were you planning to tell me?"
Dramatic, yes. But he really wanted to see some shame out of the both of them. As he spoke, his anger at being effectively lied to since he was a child bubbled up. Saito had palmed his face in his hand and was rubbing the bridge of his nose as if physically pained, but Kanashimi was still silent, stoic. So he continued.
"Why didn't you think I had the right to know about something that affected me so heavily? Why on earth wouldn't you think you should tell me you knew what was wrong with me, all this time?"
He glared at his eldest brother, hands clenched in fists at his sides. Taking a swing would not get him anywhere here, but it was still oh-so-tempting. He took a deep breath, bolstered by his own focusing aura. No. He had to put his anger into constructive means, here. He wanted them to feel bad, dammit.
A frisson of frustration crossed Kanashimi's face then, and he glanced over at Saito, who was resting his head in his hands. "Because I didn't know that part of it. I'm assuming you're talking about the bird spirit? I only knew about that much. I didn't know it was keeping you from the elements. I didn't even know you weren't aware of it; I assumed it talked to you like with anyone else who's possessed by a harmless spirit."
The frustration appeared to be directed at his twin, not Makoto. Well. That was a surprise. They were now both looking at Saito, who was rocking on his heels.
Saito emitted a little sigh. "It wasn't like I was deliberately keeping it from you!" he tried, apparently not sure which of them to focus on. He seemed to settle on Makoto for the moment, despite the full force of his glare. "I was...monitoring your condition, whenever you had a medical exam. It's the sort of thing the Shrine teaches us how to notice. As long as it wasn't really hurting you...I did plan to say something, if it ever was a problem, or if you ever seemed to really mind your chakra problems!"
He had his hands up defensively, but Makoto focused in on a different part of that than he seemed to expect.
"The Shrine taught you?" he asked, eyes narrowed and a new kind of anger rising. "How many people know about--"
"None!" Saito shook his head quickly. "It's just something they teach us in medic training as a precaution...Makoto, you don't really think I would leak your medical condition to a place full of our enemies, do you?"
No, as mad as he was, he didn't really think that. Keep it a secret from everyone and convince himself it wasn't a problem, yes; tell people who shouldn't know, no.
"As much as I think a possessing spirit doesn't entirely count as a medical condition..." Kanashimi glanced at Saito, with one of his 'we'll talk about this later' looks, then turned back to Makoto. "How did you find out?"
"I'll tell you the full story...later..." He unclenched his fists and made a wobbly motion with one hand, trying to indicate the debriefing. "But let's just say, I got into a bit of trouble and it helped me get out."
He managed, barely, to keep the 'you don't need to know more about my medical condition than I do, thank you' from slipping out instead.
"Is it gone?" Kanashimi pressed. "Are you all right?"
"It's not gone." He shrugged fluidly. "It's just...more of a normal possessing spirit now. I only started hearing it like a normal one after what happened in Sand.
In fact, the phoenix was warbling a soothing calm now that it sensed he was more receptive to it. He brushed it off.
"People from other countries would likely think us crazy for thinking there's 'normal' possessing spirits." The tension had leaked out of Kanashimi's stance now, though he had switched to ignoring Saito for the moment. "Regardless, I'm glad you're all right. I'll talk to you at work later and we'll work out--something--for dealing with Tatsuya."
"I don't like him either," he said simply. "But, all right." He'd done what he came for, after all, and could make his way out, directing a venomous glare at his other brother.
"I was trying to protect you from being too different, and from other people noticing," Saito said quietly. "I know you don't like that. But that's what I was doing."
"Yes, I'm sure I'm not intelligent enough to know to keep a secret," he snapped, halting on the spot. "Even back then I was!"
"It's not your intelligence I doubted." Saito flipped back a stray lock of his white hair, frowning. "Do you really think you would have been able to resist telling everyone that there was something about you that was special and different and better?"
Makoto stared at him, an unpleasant feeling squirming in his gut. Saito's legendary ability to inflict shame, at it again. No, when put like that, he couldn't say he would have been able to keep his mouth shut. Now he could, certainly, but as a child? When he didn't grasp the value of keeping some things to yourself so they didn't get back to your enemies; when he didn't even really grasp that the Shrine was in many ways their family's enemy?
He really didn't know if he could have. And that pissed him off.
He wanted to be mad at Saito for keeping this from him. And he was. But he couldn't deny that, well, maybe...
Maybe his reasons had been valid, at first...
He pushed that feeling back, and focused on something he could reasonably get mad at. "I suppose I'm still a child, then, always, and never deserved to know. Right. Got it."
"That's not...!" Saito made a frustrated hand gesture, then ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh again. "No, fine. It's fine. It doesn't matter."
"Then what is?" Makoto demanded. "Is it that you think of me as a child or not? Come on.
Saito shook his head mutely, making to turn away. Makoto's anger bubbled up in him again with startling rapidity, making the phoenix give a startled caw in his mind. He lunged forward and grabbed his brother's arm.
"Yell at me, dammit!" he snarled. "You're obviously mad! I know I piss you off sometimes, but you never...fucking...show it! So just yell, scream, hit something like a normal person!"
Saito didn't jerk back or try and tug away from his grasp; his arm was there one moment and water the next. Swearing, Makoto jumped back.
"You don't make me angry," Saito said quietly, drawing his liquid state arm away and reforming it while turning away. "Sometimes you frustrate me, but, well, you're my little brother. It wouldn't help to be angry at you. I know you get angry at me, and I know you try and make me mad at you, but you never do, and I don't think you ever will. Not the ways you try to, anyway."
Was he...was he telling the truth...?
Makoto felt his hands clench into fists again.
Have I had him wrong the whole time...? What if he's not pathetic because he doesn't react--what if it just genuinely doesn't bother him? That's not weak at all...
That was a kind of strength he really didn't have himself. To forgive someone, constantly, while they were trying to hurt you? He couldn't do that. He hadn't even realized it was a thing people could or should do.
He swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. "So...why didn't you ever tell me...?" He meant it to be angry, but it was came out as a harsh whisper.
Saito turned back around, the picture of calm. "Because it's better for as few people to know things as possible, you know? When it comes to sensitive information, it is. It's better to keep something dangerous, since you can't really make someone un-know something."
He glanced over at Kanashimi as if including him in this. It hadn't even occurred to Makoto that his brothers had secrets from each other. They were twins, after all.
"Besides," he said, turning his attention back toward Makoto, "I really wasn't sure if you could keep your mouth shut. One way or another, you've never been good enough with secrets to know. I had to evaluate that--and I did."
He was talking like someone used to keeping secrets all the time, like someone used to keeping sensitive information secret, like someone who could judge such things about people, like...
Like a spy...
I'm not dealing with this right now. I refuse to deal with it. He slammed the door on that train of thought, instead letting his gaze drift between his brothers. Then he shook his head and backed off, shaken.
His long-term judgment had been proved wrong too many times already that day. He wasn't dealing with it again. He wasn't. He wasn't--
Makoto turned on his heel and left. He wasn't fleeing, he wouldn't flee, he wasn't running, but he had to get the hell out of there. Neither of them made a move to stop him, which was a good thing as far as he was concerned.
He didn't want to deal with other people right now.
[Thread Entered/Exited, S-Rank/30 Min]
He managed several weeks of not-avoiding before he decided he might get in actual trouble for not reporting in yet and needed to have it out with one brother, at least. Hell, it might've been easier to do this one at a time. Then they couldn't gang up on him with the 'it was for your own good' spiel.'
You could just decide not to be mad at them, the phoenix suggested, but the idea lacked conviction. It knew how unsuccessful it would be in the attempt. They really did do it with the best of intentions.
They are emphatically not allowed to withhold information about me, from me, he snapped back. If it were perhaps only until I were old enough--all right, maybe. But I have been old enough for years and in no way have they at any point attempted to tell me. So no, I will not just decide to let them off the hook.
And the bird let it go, because arguing with him about this is bound to be futile.
He collared a family servant, who helpfully pointed him in Kanashimi's direction. The training area of the weapon storehouse, of course. The most private, flat open space their family had access to. Hopefully he was alone.
Hope, Makoto decided upon getting there, was for fools and small children.
Kanashimi was not only not alone, but their (annoying) new cousin was there with him, along with Saito (hovering slightly out of what must have been range of that aura).
Makoto normally wouldn't have cared about Saito being intimidated by anyone or anything, but hey. He was the one here to do the intimidating and yelling, thank you very much.
Try your new aura, the phoenix suggested.
New aura? He reached where the pressure aura would have been and...there was something else. It didn't seem like it would dump drawbacks on enemies, but instead it felt...protective. Focusing. Not the sort of thing he would ussually associate himself with, but, well...
The effect was near-instant as he drew within range. He'd never gotten any visual cue that someone was under his pressure aura previously, but he'd always been able to tell and to single out targets to be exempted or dropped into it. This aura was similar in that way. He plucked his brothers out as 'targets' of the beneficial soothing sensation of the aura, and Saito's back immediately straightened.
Kanashimi turned too, giving him a wordless nod. He had to swallow his anger briefly--they were definitely not having this fight in front of the man with the snake on his shoulder.
Plus there was clearly already an argument in progress.
Tatsuya turned when silence fell and took stock of him there. Did he feel cornered, with all three of them there? He ought to.
Instead though, he grinned. A second later he realized how tense Kanashimi had gotten.
What the hell was that about?
"Ah, good! All three of you are here." Tatsuya clapped. "This must be as good a time as any for that match, then? Considering your...conflicting schedules."
That sounded like it had been an excuse. Moreover, one that he clearly had not bought.
Come to think, why was Kanashimi handling the verbal of this confrontation for their side, anyway? How was he not affected by that blasted aura?
But of course, Saito--much more of a smooth talker at any time, and now, with whatever Makoto's aura did, able to be so again--took over.
"Not really a good time at all, I'm afraid!" Saito chirped. Working around, 'if you stay much longer my twin is going to try and punch a hole through your head.' "I'm afraid we have some things to discuss. Maybe try to schedule something, instead of springing it on us whenever we're all in the same room?"
From anyone else that tone and wording would have sounded condescending. From Saito, it actually managed to be somewhat guilt-inducing.
In most. There was a bit of guilt, maybe, but Tatsuya's main reaction seemed to be surprise, of the 'since when did you have a spine?' variety.
"All right..." he said slowly, still giving Saito a strange look. Was he just not used to people overcoming his aura, even with help? Or had he come to some strange conclusion about the three of them? "Let me know when to schedule it, then. When you come to something that works out for all three of you, of course."
Kanashimi didn't so much as twitch in agitation, despite the tension in his shoulders still. Instead, he just inclined his head, and then turned away from Tatsuya, toward Makoto.
A clear dismissal, if ever there was one.
The snake on Tatsuya's shoulder poked its head up and seemed to say something into his ear. He emitted a sigh, then tilted his head toward Kanashimi in return, and made a graceful exit.
Leaving the three of them alone, and Makoto free to yell at his brothers. He pulled back his aura to himself, not wanting them to be focused while he was chewing them out.
He'd thought out a lot of different ways to open this conversation. Ultimately though, there was really only one good way to handle the both of them at once.
Saito was opening his mouth, probably to say something about how they hadn't seen much of each other since he got back, but Makoto beat him to the opener.
"I had the most interesting experience in Sand," he said, keeping his tone light. Suspiciously friendly and light, really. "Would you like to know what it was? Of course you would. You see, well..."
He flung his hand out and pulled on the still-unfamiliar sensation of elemental chakra--in this case, fire. A small fireball hovered just above his hand in the shape of no actual jutsu.
"I would explain how this happened," he continued with a bit of a bite in his voice, "but, well, I'm fairly sure you both know already...what I want to know is..." He extinguished the fire by snapping his hand into a fist, for effect. "When the hell were you planning to tell me?"
Dramatic, yes. But he really wanted to see some shame out of the both of them. As he spoke, his anger at being effectively lied to since he was a child bubbled up. Saito had palmed his face in his hand and was rubbing the bridge of his nose as if physically pained, but Kanashimi was still silent, stoic. So he continued.
"Why didn't you think I had the right to know about something that affected me so heavily? Why on earth wouldn't you think you should tell me you knew what was wrong with me, all this time?"
He glared at his eldest brother, hands clenched in fists at his sides. Taking a swing would not get him anywhere here, but it was still oh-so-tempting. He took a deep breath, bolstered by his own focusing aura. No. He had to put his anger into constructive means, here. He wanted them to feel bad, dammit.
A frisson of frustration crossed Kanashimi's face then, and he glanced over at Saito, who was resting his head in his hands. "Because I didn't know that part of it. I'm assuming you're talking about the bird spirit? I only knew about that much. I didn't know it was keeping you from the elements. I didn't even know you weren't aware of it; I assumed it talked to you like with anyone else who's possessed by a harmless spirit."
The frustration appeared to be directed at his twin, not Makoto. Well. That was a surprise. They were now both looking at Saito, who was rocking on his heels.
Saito emitted a little sigh. "It wasn't like I was deliberately keeping it from you!" he tried, apparently not sure which of them to focus on. He seemed to settle on Makoto for the moment, despite the full force of his glare. "I was...monitoring your condition, whenever you had a medical exam. It's the sort of thing the Shrine teaches us how to notice. As long as it wasn't really hurting you...I did plan to say something, if it ever was a problem, or if you ever seemed to really mind your chakra problems!"
He had his hands up defensively, but Makoto focused in on a different part of that than he seemed to expect.
"The Shrine taught you?" he asked, eyes narrowed and a new kind of anger rising. "How many people know about--"
"None!" Saito shook his head quickly. "It's just something they teach us in medic training as a precaution...Makoto, you don't really think I would leak your medical condition to a place full of our enemies, do you?"
No, as mad as he was, he didn't really think that. Keep it a secret from everyone and convince himself it wasn't a problem, yes; tell people who shouldn't know, no.
"As much as I think a possessing spirit doesn't entirely count as a medical condition..." Kanashimi glanced at Saito, with one of his 'we'll talk about this later' looks, then turned back to Makoto. "How did you find out?"
"I'll tell you the full story...later..." He unclenched his fists and made a wobbly motion with one hand, trying to indicate the debriefing. "But let's just say, I got into a bit of trouble and it helped me get out."
He managed, barely, to keep the 'you don't need to know more about my medical condition than I do, thank you' from slipping out instead.
"Is it gone?" Kanashimi pressed. "Are you all right?"
"It's not gone." He shrugged fluidly. "It's just...more of a normal possessing spirit now. I only started hearing it like a normal one after what happened in Sand.
In fact, the phoenix was warbling a soothing calm now that it sensed he was more receptive to it. He brushed it off.
"People from other countries would likely think us crazy for thinking there's 'normal' possessing spirits." The tension had leaked out of Kanashimi's stance now, though he had switched to ignoring Saito for the moment. "Regardless, I'm glad you're all right. I'll talk to you at work later and we'll work out--something--for dealing with Tatsuya."
"I don't like him either," he said simply. "But, all right." He'd done what he came for, after all, and could make his way out, directing a venomous glare at his other brother.
"I was trying to protect you from being too different, and from other people noticing," Saito said quietly. "I know you don't like that. But that's what I was doing."
"Yes, I'm sure I'm not intelligent enough to know to keep a secret," he snapped, halting on the spot. "Even back then I was!"
"It's not your intelligence I doubted." Saito flipped back a stray lock of his white hair, frowning. "Do you really think you would have been able to resist telling everyone that there was something about you that was special and different and better?"
Makoto stared at him, an unpleasant feeling squirming in his gut. Saito's legendary ability to inflict shame, at it again. No, when put like that, he couldn't say he would have been able to keep his mouth shut. Now he could, certainly, but as a child? When he didn't grasp the value of keeping some things to yourself so they didn't get back to your enemies; when he didn't even really grasp that the Shrine was in many ways their family's enemy?
He really didn't know if he could have. And that pissed him off.
He wanted to be mad at Saito for keeping this from him. And he was. But he couldn't deny that, well, maybe...
Maybe his reasons had been valid, at first...
He pushed that feeling back, and focused on something he could reasonably get mad at. "I suppose I'm still a child, then, always, and never deserved to know. Right. Got it."
"That's not...!" Saito made a frustrated hand gesture, then ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh again. "No, fine. It's fine. It doesn't matter."
"Then what is?" Makoto demanded. "Is it that you think of me as a child or not? Come on.
Saito shook his head mutely, making to turn away. Makoto's anger bubbled up in him again with startling rapidity, making the phoenix give a startled caw in his mind. He lunged forward and grabbed his brother's arm.
"Yell at me, dammit!" he snarled. "You're obviously mad! I know I piss you off sometimes, but you never...fucking...show it! So just yell, scream, hit something like a normal person!"
Saito didn't jerk back or try and tug away from his grasp; his arm was there one moment and water the next. Swearing, Makoto jumped back.
"You don't make me angry," Saito said quietly, drawing his liquid state arm away and reforming it while turning away. "Sometimes you frustrate me, but, well, you're my little brother. It wouldn't help to be angry at you. I know you get angry at me, and I know you try and make me mad at you, but you never do, and I don't think you ever will. Not the ways you try to, anyway."
Was he...was he telling the truth...?
Makoto felt his hands clench into fists again.
Have I had him wrong the whole time...? What if he's not pathetic because he doesn't react--what if it just genuinely doesn't bother him? That's not weak at all...
That was a kind of strength he really didn't have himself. To forgive someone, constantly, while they were trying to hurt you? He couldn't do that. He hadn't even realized it was a thing people could or should do.
He swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. "So...why didn't you ever tell me...?" He meant it to be angry, but it was came out as a harsh whisper.
Saito turned back around, the picture of calm. "Because it's better for as few people to know things as possible, you know? When it comes to sensitive information, it is. It's better to keep something dangerous, since you can't really make someone un-know something."
He glanced over at Kanashimi as if including him in this. It hadn't even occurred to Makoto that his brothers had secrets from each other. They were twins, after all.
"Besides," he said, turning his attention back toward Makoto, "I really wasn't sure if you could keep your mouth shut. One way or another, you've never been good enough with secrets to know. I had to evaluate that--and I did."
He was talking like someone used to keeping secrets all the time, like someone used to keeping sensitive information secret, like someone who could judge such things about people, like...
Like a spy...
I'm not dealing with this right now. I refuse to deal with it. He slammed the door on that train of thought, instead letting his gaze drift between his brothers. Then he shook his head and backed off, shaken.
His long-term judgment had been proved wrong too many times already that day. He wasn't dealing with it again. He wasn't. He wasn't--
Makoto turned on his heel and left. He wasn't fleeing, he wouldn't flee, he wasn't running, but he had to get the hell out of there. Neither of them made a move to stop him, which was a good thing as far as he was concerned.
He didn't want to deal with other people right now.
[Thread Entered/Exited, S-Rank/30 Min]