Private Running Aimlessly Through the Desert

[Okami Roku]

Sweat would be rolling off his face, absorbing into his clothing, and what could escape would find itself falling upon the desert sands. He was out in the desert expanse, in no particular location, running. Why was he running? He wasn't entirely sure. Partly he wanted to believe that it was related to training, an effort to maybe increase either his stamina or endurance. Another reason could have simply been that he wanted to run but didn't have a true location in mind to run to, so he just took off. It could, however, also be that he was running from something, most notably the voice inside his head. Whatever was happening recently, it seemed to come with an increased interaction rate with his Hunger. While it had not led to any unfortunate situations at this time, he knew better than to trust that things would always go smoothly. From his past, the more the Hunger talked, the more it pushed for control of the body. Blacking out, sleepwalking, and waking up in unknown locations, all of these were experiences of the past tied to the Hunger being active.

Again, none of these seemed to be happening now, which was good. Deep down, however, he couldn't help but wonder if they were at a point now that the Hunger was aware of his awareness and was being more careful with its actions. In the past, maybe the Hunger viewed his lack of understanding as something it didn't have to put much effort into covering up their actions, but now, and within this village, maybe the Hunger knew it had to be more careful. He also wasn't sure if the Hunger wasn't also privy to his thoughts, which meant the more he knew and understood, or schemed against the Hunger would always be information they too would be aware of.

It all gave him a headache, but what didn't give him a headache was running. So he ran aimlessly through the desert for the time being.

MFT - 335

 

[Okami Roku]

Panting, drenched in sweat, and hopelessly lost, he would finally come to a stop. The stop would be only momentarily, as it wasn't as fair to call it a stop and more so reassign it the designation 'collapse' as he would find himself toppling over to the sandy ground below. Breathing in and out erratically, his mouth would suck and blow out sand. His throat was dry and stinging, and the sand only caused it to worsen. Where he was now at, after all his running, was the least of his concerns. Usually, this would be the time the voice within would chime in and chastise him.

"W-w-well... go...... a-ahead.... let.... me.... h-h-have it...."

The words would come out strained and tired, a true reflection of his physical state. Instead of the grating words of a pompous ass, he would only be treated to the sound of his heavy breathing. Was the voice gone? Was the voice ever really there? Did this being at the edge of life and death finally allow him to see clearly everything? Was he just a troubled individual in need of mental help intervention?

He wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure if he was ever sure. While part of him felt the relief of not hearing the voice, another part of him felt frustration. Was the voice playing a game on him?

"Come... on........ sp-speak.... you... ass-.... asshole."

He was getting angry, but was he getting angry at an entity that was completely different than himself, who happened to reside within him, or was he getting angry at himself? Angry at being so messed up that he couldn't tell what was real and was fake?

His eyes were heavy. It was nighttime. Maybe he could think about this more after a nice nap...

MFT - 295