Re: A Night of Audacity [open]
Shira heard someone enter the room, most likely Aika, but made no move to acknowledge them. She felt someone slip behind her, but her body remained stiff and rigid. She couldn't face her knowing what she'd done. She felt a kiss being placed on her neck, but still she didn't want to move. She was mortified that she had attacked Aika like that. Aika spoke and the close proximity made her shiver, the pet name not being lost on her. So Aika wasn't mad at her, but that didn't mean she couldn't be mad at herself. It did shock her though that Aika seemed to even like it, she had expected her to run. She shook her head slowly. "That's just it. I didn't have control, I just did what came naturally. I could have hurt you. I didn't this time, but what if it happens again? I just want to protect you Aika, even if that means from me." Her voice was bitter and weak. Shira felt tears brimming the corner of her eyes but they wouldn't fall, she couldn't let them. She leaned back onto Aika and turned her head to look at the now healed mark she had made. "I don't want to ever see you hurt, especially not because of me. But I don't want you to leave either. I want you so much, but...I don't think you could ever have relationship with me, if you wanted one, knowing I could snap at the smallest cut. I'm not good enough for you. I'm a monster." Shira wondered why she was pouring her heart out all of a sudden. So many years of repressed emotions, so many years of being torn down by the rest of the world, and then her demon suddenly coming back and tearing down the walls she had created around her heart, making her feel vulnerable. She hated feeling like that, she didn't feel like herself at all. She went to take one of Aika's hands and lace her fingers through it, needing some sign that Aika really was ok.
Shira heard someone enter the room, most likely Aika, but made no move to acknowledge them. She felt someone slip behind her, but her body remained stiff and rigid. She couldn't face her knowing what she'd done. She felt a kiss being placed on her neck, but still she didn't want to move. She was mortified that she had attacked Aika like that. Aika spoke and the close proximity made her shiver, the pet name not being lost on her. So Aika wasn't mad at her, but that didn't mean she couldn't be mad at herself. It did shock her though that Aika seemed to even like it, she had expected her to run. She shook her head slowly. "That's just it. I didn't have control, I just did what came naturally. I could have hurt you. I didn't this time, but what if it happens again? I just want to protect you Aika, even if that means from me." Her voice was bitter and weak. Shira felt tears brimming the corner of her eyes but they wouldn't fall, she couldn't let them. She leaned back onto Aika and turned her head to look at the now healed mark she had made. "I don't want to ever see you hurt, especially not because of me. But I don't want you to leave either. I want you so much, but...I don't think you could ever have relationship with me, if you wanted one, knowing I could snap at the smallest cut. I'm not good enough for you. I'm a monster." Shira wondered why she was pouring her heart out all of a sudden. So many years of repressed emotions, so many years of being torn down by the rest of the world, and then her demon suddenly coming back and tearing down the walls she had created around her heart, making her feel vulnerable. She hated feeling like that, she didn't feel like herself at all. She went to take one of Aika's hands and lace her fingers through it, needing some sign that Aika really was ok.